Are there really men who take care of and spoil their girlfriends, out there?

Is it a fairytale? Or is it a fact that there are "Knights in Shining Armor" who take care of and spoil their woman like queens? If so, I sure would like to find one, just to feel special and find out what I have been missing my whole life. I have always made everyone around me feel special, gone above and beyond for them, and never got the same in return. Meanwhile, I have friends whose boyfriends/fiance's/husbands treat them like queens, give them whatever they want, spend lavishly on them, etc... I know this because they're always flaunting pictures of those things on social media. In the meantime, my ex-boyfriend didn't even want to give me a ride to school one time while my mother was out of the country and I was broke, because in his own words "he wasn't a taxi cab." I was shocked when I heard this coming from him.

Are there still men like this out there?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it's every guy who never talks in public. I haven't seen any of the responses here but I assume most of them are "yes, that man is ME". Being truly altruistic isn't easy and everyone thinks that they are Jesus for once gifting something to someone.

    Short answer: yes but they're not here or anywhere online and they'll never tell you that they're altruistic.

    P. S. I think that your friends flaunt their lives to you not because the have such wonderful things, but because they want to have them and have you envy them for it. It's a status move many women in my life do.

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    • Where are these guys at?

      These girls definitely do have wonderful things since I know them personally. Even her boyfriend posts on Facebook the stuff he buys for her.

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    • In real life, probably at some nerdy club. Like a chess club or whatever. You cannot be too up-front as they are most likely shy people. Find a hobby that you can tolerate or even enjoy and meet some kind people.

    • Do you believe that women should be reciprocating spoiling behavior by spending money on the man as well? It seems like lots of guys on here are butt-hurt about the fact that women want to be spoiled and believe that every woman who wants this is a gold digger. What do you think?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Read what she said, she said she does everything for the guy and he doesn't give in return, so thus she's always been in a give relationship where she's the only one giving.

    I know how you feel. Though i've experienced both. I would do everything for my friends and never got anything in return, sometimes it would bother me cause it would make me wonder about our friendship but other times it didn't bother me cause I it was their choice. I met this guy and he would take me out on dates and do a bunch of things for me, he was a really sweet, so they are out there. I however ended up with my ex who would do nothing for me. I always got him birthday and Christmas gifts, he would get me nothing, i'd make him breakfast in bed sometimes, always make food, always clean, always do everything and i'd get nothing in return. I'd be the one always paying and taking him out. It really broke my heart and i even told him about it and was crying, he felt sorry for me for a few minutes and said he'd start doing things for me and then was over it quickly and went back to doing what he was doing. My parents had the kind of relationship where they used to do things for each other, spoil each other and make each other feel special. That's the kind of relationship I want and I think you shouldn't give up on finding it.

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    • It really pisses me off that some guys on here don't seem to understand why it is that I feel this way.
      I want to be spoiled because I've never been spoiled before and all my friends seem to have no problem finding guys like that.

      One guy on here even said that I'll get bored of a guy who spoils me. Little does he know how you and I both feel.

    • Some guys are idiots, don't listen to them. He probably treats his girl badly and would feel guilty if he didn't say you'd get bored. My parents have been happily married for more than 20 years and I see most people say that the guy has to be rich well my parents were and aren't rich, yet they'd still use the little money they had to spoil and keep each other happy and if they didn't have money they'd go out or take each other to places that need no money

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 43

  • It's real. But for most guys you have to give to get. There is an exceptionally small percentage of guys who will give you everything they are and everything they have for nothing in return. I've been that guy, but got tired of being used. I've known other guys like that and all but one grew out of it. He can't possibly be the only one.

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    • I don't intend on using guys. I want to treat him like a king in return. Some guys on here are responding pretty negatively to this question. I mean, there's a difference between wanting to be spoiled and not doing anything versus wanting to be spoiled and treating him special in return.

      One guy on here even said that such guy doesn't exist because I'll eventually get bored of him. Do you agree with such statement?

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    • Do you believe that a woman needs to reciprocate this spoiling behavior by spending money on him as opposed to cooking and cleaning for him?

    • That's up to the individuals. You can either play it by ear and hope for the best, or discuss it early in the relationship to be certain your chosen roles are a match. Personally, I prefer to have the conversation.
      All of my girlfriends but my first have worked, but only one spoiled me at all. I wouldn't mind having a kept woman for a change of pace, but they're probably hard to come by, and I'm probably not really a candidate anyway.

  • Yes, but treating a girl like this can actually be a detriment to the relationship. Being treated like a queen means treating your partner like a king. But I’ve seen too many times where this has led to a one sided relationship with a lack of respect for the man.

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    • Can you give an example of how a girl treated like a queen can treat her man like a king?

    • Spoiling your man would at is simplest be keeping him fed, caring for him, going out together and ensuring he gets a lot of sex. obviously there would be personal preferences other than that, but that’s the basics 😉

  • "Meanwhile, I have friends whose boyfriends/fiance's/husbands treat them like queens, give them whatever they want, spend lavishly on them, etc"

    So you want a man who's going to spend his pay cheque on you.

    Tell me, how much money are you going to spend on him?

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    • I won't spend money on him but I can reciprocate by cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing is laundry, giving him massages, etc... Everyone wants to be spoiled differently. And if my friends boyfriends spend lots of money on them without them expecting money in return, what's wrong with desiring the same in return?

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    • I'm a traditional person, but that doesn't mean I'm entitled. I just follow old-fashioned traditional gender roles.

    • Sure, whatever you say.

      I have my opinion, if you don't like it that's your too bad.

      From the looks of most opinions here, I'm not the only one.

  • Indeed! I mean I'm not rich but I spend whatever left over money on my girlfriend (which I don't have🙃) I drive "her" to and from work and school. Cuddle and watch movies every night and take her to a nice dinner at least once a week. I try all I can but I am not perfect. I'm not extremely wealthy and my bills come first and whatever I have left I spend on her for whatever she wants after we goto dinner for that week (where ever she wants to go).

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    • You're a good-quality guy! Unlike these cheapsakes replying to this question.

    • Well thank you!

  • I can't speak for all men but I'm pretty sure that it's a fucking fairy tale. Listen, most men don't want the 80/20 relationship where men have to spoil their girlfriends and shit. However, men do spoil their girlfriends naturally to some degree. In fact, it's a natural instinct that men have to be the gift givers. However, we won't pay for every meal nor will we comply to the "masculine and feminine roles" in a relationship because it's a stupid construct.

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    • I have gone out on dates with men who have gotten offended after I offered to pay for my own food. You may not pay for every meal, but I would say most guys do. And those are the types of guys worthwhile.

    • Listen, you don't know all guys. I've hung out with guys for most of my life. You don't want a guy like that, trust me. I'm also a bi guy so I've dated guys too.

  • It's one thing to want a guy who can do go out of his way to show that they care, but I think girls who want to be put up on a pedestal are ditty soul sucking creatures. Yes they're out there but you might not get what you're looking for in that kind of relationship the power balance will be completely flipped.

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    • I disagree. These girls I'm referring to actually have these guys eating out of the palm of their hands. Not that I desire to take advantage of a guy like that, but being spoiled doesn't necessarily warrant being a man's slave.

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    • Because everyone's experience is so exclusive that no one else can offer advice unless they had their experiences /s

    • That's right.

  • This all might have existed a long time ago and I am sure there are some guys who treat their partners as you describe, but the reality is that you are no more special than your partner.

    Why should you be treated like a queen, spoiled rotten with money and gifts and put on a pedestal?

    Because you look attractive or because you provide sex?

    That was a rhetorical question and I wasn't implying that you do or don't do the above.

    In this day & age of equality, why is it expected of men to still treat women as being better than themselves? What do women do that makes their man feel special?

    Those friends of yours who post all that crap on social media and showing off how great their relationship is and all the thing's their guy gives them are compensating for something. A good relationship does not need to be advertised to the whole world unless you are trying to convince yourself of something or to remind you of the good things so you can try and forget about the bad.

    Seriously, if being showered in money and gifts is what you expect out of a relationship, then you may need to rethink your priorities... And for guys, if you think the only way you can keep the relationship going is by blowing all your money on her, then once again, priorities need to be checked.

    A good relationship is when you know you care for each other. It's about listening and helping to solve each others problems together as a team. It's about enjoying each others company. It should not be defined by material acquisition and superficial bribery.

    If the only way you can know if your partner likes you is by them buying you stuff, then you have to truly ask yourself if you're really in a relationship, or just being rented out for the time being.

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  • I'll spoil my girl if she is worthy of being spoiled.. I don't need a woman to cook, clean or do my laundry... My mom raised me to take care of myself in that regard.. I'm not going to spoil you if your not going to also contribute to the value of my life... And no pussy isn't it... Can get that from any girl.. in order to be spoiled, you must be able to contribute to my already successful life.

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    • Every guy wants to be spoiled differently. What do you define as "contributing to your already successful life"? Motivating you? Giving you massages? Loaning you money?

      I want to be spoiled with things that would entail money, but that's just me. If you're looking for the same, then you need to find a girl who doesn't care so much about being spoiled or is little Ms. Independent who wants to take care of herself and other people.

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    • And who said anything about me wanting a women to provide for me financially? If that's what you got out of everything I said then you haven't been paying attention to anything I said... I take of myself... I pay everything I have to pay, have my savings, watch what debt I occur and how it will affect me in the long run... I have plans, goals and set times to be completely debt free before I turn 45. I don't assume the girl I'm work to pay for anything I have because it's not her responsibility. Its mine... And mine solely to take care of... If she wants to help great.. but I don't expect her to assume it... And I'm also in school part time finishing up... and kudos to you for wanting to pay your share of a meal... That's the way it should be... I should want to spoil you at certain points in a relationship... not have it be expected or dictate that I spoil you... 50/50...

    • For me if I see you working hard to take care of all your responsibilities and see you not expecting it or having that mindset... I'll be inclined to spoil you a lot more often and help you reach your goals faster than you expecting a man to "take pride in spoiling you..." That also is from the traditional way of thinking.

  • You sound entitled.. so umm a good guy should avoid you like the black death.

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    • I'm not entitled. I've always gone above and beyond for all of my exes, even friends and they always treated me like shit in return.

    • Ah well then it sounds like you're asking for the same in return, you want to be treated like you treat others. I retract my statement. Good people are hard to find though.

  • Most women want to be treated like a queen but treat him like a servant. That will only last so long before he realises you are not actually a queen.

    He needs to feel like a king too

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  • The entire point of social media is to make others believe your life is more interesting than it really is. How many of your girlfriends post pictures of when their boyfriends treat them like dirt? None? I'm shocked! Obviously that must mean it has never happened! You will never find the person you are describing because you are never going to be attracted to a man that is tripping over himself to try to please you. If you do somehow fall into a relationship with one you are going to be in the most boring relationship of your life and it will not last. Disagree if you like. I'm just stating fact.

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    • I completely disagree. A man can trip himself over to please me and be a good-quality man whom I can love and respect. I would never get bored with someone who shows how much he values me and cherishes me. On the other hand, I got really bored and tired of my ex who never did anything for me. Plus, everyone is attracted to something different. You may feel excitement out of being treated like shit and being disrespected, but I and most girls certainly don't.
      I seriously hope you're just being a troll.

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    • Oh, so you just validated exactly what I've been saying and you haven't been in a relationship since... 🤔

    • I did not once validate what you said. I have dated around, but have not been exclusive to anybody ever since. Like I said, see for yourself.

  • Yes there are men that spoil their women. But if she doesn't give anything back she's nothing but a gold digger.

    I would get it if you said you wanted a guy to spend more time and plan things with you. But you only mention the money except for the ride thing at the end.

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    • There are other ways of spoiling a man besides giving him money. Everyone wants to be spoiled in different ways. I don't think that wanting to be treated to things that entail money necessarily makes me a gold digger. A gold digger only cares about a man's wallet. Not his personality. I couldn't date an asshole even if he was a millionaire.

  • Uh, by stating your friends have men like that, didn't you answer your own question?

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    • Are you one of those guys?

    • Well, I think I've made the women I've dated feel special. As far as spending lavishly, some of them made more than I did, so I didn't do a lot of that. But I certainly did things like give them rides, help them move, or whatever.

  • Knights in shining armor, you mean beta cucks who are willing to bankrupt themselves for a chance at pussy? Yes, they do exist.

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  • I mean, personally in my relationships I feel like you should treat your significant other like they are the most important thing in the world, but if they can't get the time to go out on a date or to hang out because of work or something like that then. You have to understand that and work something out for another time. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be like your best friend, I dunno thats just hiw I feel

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  • I'm sure there are such men. What have you done to deserve it though. You entitled types sicken me.

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  • Yes there are. Many of them. Usually they come form rich families and have a lot of mum-and-dad money as well as a good start in life.

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  • Yeah I am one of them I love to spoil my girl and do random little things for her when I get the chance to

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  • There are many guys out there who's more than willing to give their girlfriends exactly what they want in no time.

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  • One thing is sure, I'm not one of those. Sure I spoil here and take care of her time to time (she does the same by the way) but when I see something going wrong I become a little bit harsh and strict with her.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Of course there are.
    My fiancé treated me like a queen, not to brag but he always put me on top of his priority.
    Well I was once in your shoes in past relationship, and I guess that’s because I love him more than he loves me. Remember the settlers and achievers theory from How I met your mother? Yes, to become a settler you need to date an achiever. And you’ll be treated like a queen.

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  • My friend's boyfriend is like this, she gets mad if he doesn''t spoil her though... I personally don't care or want my boyfriend to spend a bunch of money on me, I want love not gifts or things to flaunt on social media.

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  • I'm actually "with" a guy like that right now and he's so sweet and smooth that I feel like it's actually killing me

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  • Most of the people who replied are jerks (guys mostly). She isn't asking for someone to only care about her and that she won't do anything in return. Maybe she's just asking for a guy who isn't all about sex or a jerk like most guys nowadays. But that's just my opinion

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  • If they feel guilty for cheating they do, but it must be cause her pussy loose and they feel bad.

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  • Sugar daddy and beta losers

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