What makes someone 'high maintenance'?

Question

What do you consider high maintenance when it comes to a date or potential partner?
Is it based on behavioural traits, or do you judge it mostly from appearance?

This term seems to be thrown more often at women, but I think it could apply to both genders. Thoughts?

imxaxmuffin · Accepted Answer

I think there's kinda 2 ways someone is considered high maintenance; physically and emotionally.

Physically would be that they are really concerned and spend a lot of time and money on their appearance. Need to always follow the newest most fashionable trends. They'll always have their nails, hair, and eyebrows professionally done as well as getting everything waxed. They'll spend hours on their hair and make up every day and do a full face (primer, contouring, highlights, concealer, eyeshadow, fake lashes, eyebrows, lips, blush, everything). They'll probably also have a lot of spa days and get massages and facials and stuff like that. They probably always want to hear how good/pretty/hot/whatever they look and will even ask people if they are just to hear it. They could also be the gym type, always at the gym or working out, and goes jogging every morning. Possibly even get plastic surgery, implants, liposuction, etc. Sometimes they'll even have expensive taste with everything, clothes, shoes, jewelry, bags, cars, food, pets, pet accessories, electronics, everything.

And then emotionally, basically really clingy and needy. Always need to be with you or talking to you. Always need to be told you love them and how much and why you love them. They'll always need to be holding your hand or something when you're together and they love pda, if you aren't together they'll need to be texting or calling you 24/7. You'll have to make sure everything you do is about, with, or for them. They might want you to put them on a pedi stole and show them off.

ebbyeb · Accepted Answer

Oh, it definitely can apply to both sexes. It's applicable to anyone. Someone who's high maintenance basically just means that they're a lot of work. I think that it's more often than not, taken in a negative light.. but I don't think it always has to necessarily be a negative thing.. for example, I'd say that my SO is somewhat high maintenance.. but I love him dearly, so I honestly don't mind it at all. I think it also has to do with other's tolerance level towards others.. for example, my mother is extremely high maintenance.. and my dad seems to have infinite patience with her, however, I have practically zero. So that's definitely something to take into consideration I think! Nice question :)

OldS0ul · Accepted Answer

If it takes you 3 hours to get ready everyday that is high maintenance.

J4Zzi3 · Accepted Answer

Spend a lot on branded things? clothes, bags, jewelry, shoes.
actually it depends on how rich is the guy and how rich is the girl.
if a guy a normal office worker have lunch during their lunch break. and see a girl with Tiffany bags, with perfect nails and hair just like a model in the middle of the afternoon won't the guy think she is high maintenance?

if a rich guy see that won't it be just a normal girl?

The problem nowdays
woman think guys want their woman to looks good all the time. they go to beauty shop do manicure. get their nail done. blow their hair, etc. no matter what woman do they can't fight against age there are always people younger and beautiful than them.

They should grow more on the inside. not the outside. if you can't cook learn to cook, if you think both of you don't have enough income work as well. if you think your boyfriend need help talk to them at least it ease their mind. although i must say looks always important but people nowdays only think more about looks and not growing their inner side.

Cosytoasty · Accepted Answer

Physical high maintenance = enjoys the finer things in life, she looks after herself, expects her partner to be “of sufficient quality”, she demands a lot and doesn’t do things by halves. Now if she demands that the guy provides all of this she’s high maintenance, if she can provide this herself and simply expects a guy on her level... well I’d call that wife material but then I’m like that myself, so maybe not applicable to other men who can’t be bothered to keep up with their girl (which is fair enough).

Emotional high maintenance = needy, clingy girl with s princess syndrome. She takes a lot of attention before she is satisfied that you actually care about her, usually incredibly insecure having been spoilt all her life and not facing the harsh reality of life. This girl is deinfitrlt one to avoid... becsuse you can deal with physicall high maintenance but emotional has no resolution.

I judge off appearance first, but then it ends up behind behavioural in the end. The expensively dressed girls attract me a LOT.

TadCurious · Answer

For me it's mostly behavioral. Let's say there's this guy and this girl and they're dating. Things seem to be going fine, but one day over lunch he tells her that he has to work late that night. He has a big project or presentation, etc., due at work the next morning. He doesn't text or call her that night before he finally goes to bed. The next day (after he's turned in his project or given his presentation) he checks his messages. She's lit up his phone with texts that go like this:

"I feel like I never see you anymore. . ."
"Do you think we're drifting apart? I get the feeling we're drifting. . ."
"Am I still important to you?"
Etc. and etc.

That is high maintenance behavior.

Chaz269 · Answer

Certainly both men & women are capable of being high maintenance. Women are often characterized that way simply because a high maintenance woman will usually be more maintenance than a high maintenance man. Dude can get ready to go out in an hour, while she takes 3. There's a difference between being cosmetically high maintenance and emotionally high maintenance too. You can learn to work around someone who takes a long time to get around for a night out. However, it's terribly draining to have to constantly reassure your partner that you love them, they're enough, they're your one & only, you're not falling out of love, not getting bored, etc.

Shreyash108 · Answer

Someone who is way to dependent on someone else... like it's all about him for her... she wants to talk and spend every single moment and every single thing with him thus killing his personal space and time!!!

Not only relationships but also sometimes friendships are too high maintenance , so i basically try to avoid such people if i an!

Mckaos · Answer

not high maintenance to do with needing attention, but just overall having too many rules and regulations, "do this and that", "my way or the highway", "text less", "you make the plans", not doing a thing themselves but telling you how to make the relationship work in THEIR favor, and nothing to benefit your side

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

It can include, but not limited to:
-Needing for them to check up on me 24/7
-Needing constant attention and / or validation
-Taking an hour just to get a gallon of milk (I had a girl friend like this in college. I just bought stuff over to her place and she paid me for it)
-Needs name brand EVERYTHING
-Spends more than she makes

ChristianthePostGrad · Answer

It comes down to behavioural traits... thinga like always needing attention, validation and comparing your friendship/relationship to that of others! A high maintenance girlfriend, for example, can be so desperate to 'win' at having a relationship compared to others that she loses sight of actually enjoying the relationship.

Groisu · Answer

Attitude honestly it's really about the way they carry themselves if someone comes off as a bitch then everyone is gonna notice it but if you chill we'll be chill ya feel

darrinp1 · Answer

It's exactly what it implies a woman is high maintenance when she spends a lot of money on herself she isn't high maintenance item

orphanedmind · Answer

Inflated emotional and materialistic needs. A lot of Asian women are guilty on both counts.

Redstang88 · Answer

If it takes her an hour to get out the door and has more shoes than she can count, she's high maintenance.

front2back · Answer

It's behavior. My ex didn't dress high-maintenance but she literally believed she was a princess.

anonyms483 · Answer

Spending more tmoney for makeups and all that stuff... spending money in travelling. Knowing situation of family is too bad...

winterfox10 · Answer

For me it would be if she needed constant attention to feel validated.

8string · Answer

when the maintenance man is always goin to work on her

Sabretooth · Answer

A strong willed, god fearing girl with strong moral-no player want such a girl and will avoid as if she is plagued with every std none.

Assburgers · Answer

When they want you to keep working for them even though you are already married for 20 years.

TheRish · Answer

Too much demanding of anything is high maintenance be it gifts money or attention or whatever.

Anonymous · Answer

A narcisstic gold digging groupie. A maneater.

Anonymous · Answer

Yep that's true and , a combination of both traits is rocking.

Anonymous · Answer

Appearance matters but behaviour traits are more important. Person should be smile, confident, polite and good looking like me.

QueenofCups · Answer

Demanding and clingy/needy.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

One that needs the best of things.

momo770 · Answer

Time spent getting ready

jersos1 · Answer

Their sophistications.

Lumberman53 · Answer

Simple someone who is very demanding

kenjaminSlutton718 · Answer

I don't know I’m high maintenance lol

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I am nerd

DanOh2017 · Answer

German parts

salman55 · Answer

Traits

rudraksha · Answer

You r right

What makes someone 'high maintenance'?

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