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u 1. I think that if you begin by describing our roles as "jobs," it distorts the entire discussion. Dating and courtship are purely voluntary matters.
2. Each of us has the right to determine for ourselves what our roles in dating and courtship will be. If our putative partner does not accept the role we define for ourselves, they are free to move on to the next
"contestant."
3. Relationships are frequently not symmetrical, balanced, or equal. There is no reason why they should be. The valid questions to ask in a relationship are a) am I getting what I need from this relationship? and b) am I paying am excessive price for what I am receiving? If you are not getting what you need, or the price is too heavy, you are free to move on to the next relationship.
Well, to each our own, but I'm against the idea of letting someone else open their wallet for me when I am perfectly capable of doing so myself. If I do not have a wallet to open, then I do not have a date to attend. So, you can scratch that off your list of "job" duties.
Anyway. If I've agreed to go on a date with someone, then my "job" consists of:
- Arriving at the specified time and location.
- Being dressed according to the setting, with a slight emphasis on looking more presentable than I do in my day-to-day life.
- Being courteous and engaging in conversation with my date, with the intent of getting to know my date better and letting him know me better. Basically, facilitating a verbal exchange of personal information with the goal of finding commonalities.
- That having gone on for reasonable amount of time, my duty is then to cover my own expenses, bid my date farewell, and leave.
That's still how it's done, right?
I think the woman's job is to make herself attractive enough that the guy will choose her instead of some other girl and stay interested in her long enough for her to have a long term relationship. Being attractive is hard - the competition is fierce.
No one has jobs in dating. That's an old-fashioned view.
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A little jaded, are we? Pay attention, you don't get to ask a question and then pre-qualify answers. If some people believe a woman's only responsibility is to dress for the date and give thanks, there's nothing wrong with that answer. Especially since guys don't have the monopoly on dressing for dates. There's also nothing wrong with splitting the bill with her, or even her offering to treat. Life is full of choices, some are tougher than others, but they all have consequences. Some guys prefer to be approached, some girls prefer to approach. They may be the minority, but they definitely exist. If you decide to approach, you must approach respectfully. If you decide to be approached, you must BE approachable. These are decisions we get to make for ourselves, and we get to change our minds if we don't like the results of a given choice. Nobody said you HAVE to submit to a given role; if they did, they're either an idiot or an asshole. Put on your big boy panties and make some decisions for yourself. Otherwise, let others tell you how it's supposed to be. But know this: playing the victim absolutely doesn't absolve you of the responsibility for your choices. You alone will suffer or enjoy the consequences. That's the best reason to make good choices. The only reason in my not-so-humble opinion.
I don't believe in putting all the pressure on the man. I would like to ask him out on dates sometimes and pay. I typically offer to pay anyway.
I believe a woman's job or duty is to console her man, lift him up when he feels he isn't doing a good enough job. Give him confidence. Be his shield.
As far as bringing home an income, I believe both parties should, unless one of them wants to be a 'stay at home mom/dad' (which I personally don't find myself doing)
I think my opinion was based off of marriage but 🤷
As for dating, listen to him. Don't get on your phone. Seem interested. Have acceptable body language. Offer to pay for the meal. Be polite. I just thought this was obvious, it seems a lot of women are offended by it. I don't know
I completely disagree with you...
Approach... I've approached guys who I was attracted to... in fact, I'm married to one !!!
Ask Out... I asked him out before he asked me out... he did follow up pretty quickly though
Pay... I generally paid for roughly half the dates I've been on... I insisted on it... and in some cases, I did things like cooking the guy a real nice dinner... in addition to time, the ingredients aren't free !!!
And then... I did dress nicely and did my best to be a fun companion for the date !!!
No matter who pays... the woman should always thank the man for a pleasant evening! And the man should always thank her for the pleasure of her company. As far as paying going... it should be about 50/50. (But don’t be one of those guys who works it down to the cent... that’s just rude).
Times are changing. I see more women ask men out today than I did last year, that’s for sure.
Also, if I ask him out, I’m the one who invited him right? So I should pay because I asked him out.
If he asks me out, I’ll still bring my wallet and ask if we could split the bill. Paying for our own food/drinks/tickets is more fair, but most of the time he’s the one who pays IF HE asks ME out.
What you described in your question is for old-fashioned couples/dates. Many people still expect the guy to pay, but most of my female friends (that tell me about their dates) ask them to split the bill.
Well I find really this "dating" stuff weird, in Latin America is kind of different in some way.
I offer to pay my part always, if he insist on pay both okay I agree, but I always offer myself to pay.
Also I try to make him spend a good time too, no sexual contact is needed but I've ideas too. I can call him one day and tell "hey let's go to see the new movie" and I invite him, we both go, then get an ice cream. I offer to pay both because I invited him.
It's not like I'll just dress myself and force him to do all, no.
So that can't be applied to me
To be honest questions like these make me wish i didn’t have to date. First off dating shouldn’t be a ‘job’ for either person. They shouldn’t ‘have to do ‘ things to please eachother it should all come naturally. At the end of the day we’re all humans trying to find a soulmate a women’s role and a mans role in a relationship shouldn’t exist it should be two people enjoying eachother.
OK I've never dated as such as I've never found it easy to do what's expected of me because of my gender or ethnicity or even humanity but from observation I would say the woman's role in dating is:
▪️ to select the best mate based on a variety of criteria such as physical attractiveness, conscientiousness, generosity, assertiveness, business acumen, appetite for risk, willingness to confirm, social skills, openness to manipulation.
▪️to maintain the guy's interest in her for long enough to be able to make the selection based on above criteria without commiting herself too much in the process by becoming emotionally dependent or pregnant for instance.
In all of the above, it is assumed that sexual selection is predominantly carried out by the female of this species and that appears to be the case. Males are generally far less selective than females.
I usually offer to pay or at least split the bill when going on dates, if it's a date that I asked for then I will pay, I disagree with "guys should always pay for dates" but at one point I kind dated this cheapskate guy and each time he made excuses of not having any cash and his bank card on him and I always had to pay! Eventually I had enough and called it quit but that's not the only reason I dropped him, he seemed kinda shady too (hiding his phone from me, panicking when getting a call while out with me)
I don't understand what's meant by the question, "what is the woman's job... in dating?". Based on the the context it sounds like this is an older thought process. When dating, some people think it's the man who pays for dinner, while other people think the bill should be split. This is something that is best to decide before going out, but as far as whose job is what while dating.
It's neither person's job to do anything on a date. The two people should put their best self forward and get to know the other person, perhaps make each other laugh.
But again as far as "job", I'm not sure what this has to do with dating.
Seems like most of the triggered people here are under the impression that you're insinuating that sex is a woman's job. For that reason I say the question could be worded better. Furthermore, just the inrtroduction of the idea that people have "jobs" when dating can be a bit off setting. Because most people don't want to think about dating in that way. It sort of devalues it. But I will say perhaps what doesn't need to be said, that far too many focus on the qualities that others have to offer, and not enough on the attributes they have to offer.
Dating is not a job. It's two people enjoying the company of each other, getting to know the other person better. It's the 'job' of both, to make the other person have a good time, whilst enjoying themselves. That certain people now use dating as a means of tricking people into serving themselves, is a different matter.
In my experience, men put time and effort into planning the date, paying for it, and making sure its a positive experience, while women put time and effort into looking good, enjoying (or 'enjoying') the date, and making the date a positive experience.
When you account for the fact that women are expected to put lots of tine and effort into clothes, make-up, hair care, hair removal, styling, lingerie, etc, just to be considered eligible for the date, it kinda evens out with a man's the planning, stress, rejection, and hit to the wallet.
An analogue would be ballroom dancing. The women is expected to follow and enjoy herself and look good for the man, while the man is expected to lead and make the dance enjoyable as the price of admission to watch the good-looking woman who also makes him look good. Both have responsibilities and I don't think either one has a disproportionate amount.
There is no man's job or women's job. I don't have the job to treat you as a women, only if i want to, but never in first date... If i don't get good vibes from you and if i don't like your company or your mentality, etc, we will never pass the first date... Stop following what society tells you they don't know shit and they are miserable. Is simple, Your women job is to please the men that you choose
Do the same thing the guy is doing. Yea it's nice for a guy to pay for the first date but women should also pay for a few dates as well, or at least half. They can plan dates or even turn the current date into something more exciting like entice you to take a detour on your walk and end up near a creek I don't know
A woman's job is primarily selection. That's why women with low standards are viewed so derisively. On a date, the man is tested for wit, intellect and fiscal wellbeing. It's all a complex mating ritual, with the end goal of reproduction. Men know in the first five seconds of meeting a woman if this is someone they want to have sex with. But, as women have such a larger investiture, their process is more complex.
That's a very individual question. Personally, I like the "old-fashioned" view on dating, mainly because it suits me. I like being the one who decides what to do and pays for it. Many men do. The very best scenario, however, would be when a girl offers to pay for her half, because then we can still insits on paying for her while at the same time knowing that she's not too demanding.
Where I come from it have become a certain stigma when you (the guy) is going by the book of asking out and paying for the meal and such.
I mean, it differs here and there, at least for the younger generation - especially if it's a new experience and you all shy and stuff.
But as a low-key collective thought, most women (and younger men mostly) feels that the "old methods of dating" leans a little to close by female oppression. I can personally understand that.
If I date someone new I usually let us pay seperetly for the meal. I mean, unless I get I feeling that she would expect me to pay - and I wouldn't mind. Especially if I'm the one asking out.
Hope that gives some thought :)
It's not the man's job to do those things unless he wants. The only job people really have in dating is being honest, kind and decent. The rest of it is what people decide to do because they want to.
I think there are several that ate willing to work, it just seems like most of them feel like the woman should work too and she's shitty of she doesn't. I me ma I understand it if you don't make enough for both of you, but if you and especially if you have kids, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a housewife
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