You get hobbies so you'll be enjoying doing those too much to think about texting him so much when he's out. Think about this, people go out to see others IN PERSON not looking at their phone texting others. Before you met him I'm sure you had hobbies you were doing to occupy your time. He should be a nice inclusion in your life, not a constant. It just sounds like you're a bit needy and it's annoying him cause he can't live his own life.
It is not controlling but it is that horrible part about being in a long time relationship. In the beginning a girl will not question what a guy does, then she'll ask what, then she'll do the "that's odd" thing in a few month. Suddenly, she wants to know a logical explanation for everything he does and why.
Talk to him when he’s cooled down and explain why you do text him those questions tell him we not obligated to come home right away you are just curious, he probably feels if he says the wrong thing to those questions you’ll be angry. Assure him it’s just pure curiosity and wanting to talk To him and it’s not about trying to control him
I think you should communicate why you do what you do so he has some understanding of why you're the way you are. You should ask him what is it that you can change so you can be better as a partner but within reason. I think he might have other things that might cause him stress so try to be kind and patient so you can figure out what is really distracting him
You can't, it is wired in that you are worried about him. It's on him... Usually if my girl does that, I turn my phone on slient and check it periodically too make sure there is no emergencies. Other than that, I wouldn't worry about it. He just needs to not let it get to him. That's it. It's all on him, not you.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
U don't sound controlling at all. Of course your explanation of the situation has bias. I think he has the problem with misinterpreting what ur saying. U need to tell him that ur not the only one causing the misunderstanding. He is not understanding what ur saying. Ur only being caring only coming from a loving intention and not trying to give subtle hints. He needs to chill. Tell him it hurts u when he acts so annoyed at ur caring.
It's his mindset. In his head he feels like he needs time where you aren't there. And so when he sees that you been texting him it frustrates him but it also make him feel guilty because he knows you care.
My suggestion. Try giving him a cold shoulder after he leaves for a drink. When he gets home if you aren't asleep don't speak to him. If he pushes as to what's wrong then talk to him. But if not. Wait till morning when he's sober and pick his brain.
Are u really checking on his well being or are u checking for other reasons, men can usually tell a difference. But if your absolutely 100% just concerned seems like he has issues and may be getting a little ansy in the relationship
Guys like to be alone and away from women every once in a while. And it's nagging to have a woman check up on us every 30 minutes like we are cheating on them or something when in reality we are just trying to chill alone or with the boys
You have to trust him and just let the guy have some space when he's out with his pals. You might enjoy some alone time too. Nobody wants to be texted like that, its like a beckon saying "dont forget about me". Just stop and he will appreciate it.
well duh! you're a woman. its in your nature to be controlling even though you guys don't bring much to the table you still feel like you have the right to control men lol y'all funny creatures
Your boyfriend is either a bad boyfriend he's just wanting to control the relationship take a look at what you're doing a little less than what you're doing and maybe that'll fix his behavior
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
30Opinion
You get hobbies so you'll be enjoying doing those too much to think about texting him so much when he's out. Think about this, people go out to see others IN PERSON not looking at their phone texting others. Before you met him I'm sure you had hobbies you were doing to occupy your time. He should be a nice inclusion in your life, not a constant. It just sounds like you're a bit needy and it's annoying him cause he can't live his own life.
It is not controlling but it is that horrible part about being in a long time relationship.
In the beginning a girl will not question what a guy does, then she'll ask what, then she'll do the "that's odd" thing in a few month.
Suddenly, she wants to know a logical explanation for everything he does and why.
Talk to him when he’s cooled down and explain why you do text him those questions tell him we not obligated to come home right away you are just curious, he probably feels if he says the wrong thing to those questions you’ll be angry. Assure him it’s just pure curiosity and wanting to talk To him and it’s not about trying to control him
I think you should communicate why you do what you do so he has some understanding of why you're the way you are. You should ask him what is it that you can change so you can be better as a partner but within reason. I think he might have other things that might cause him stress so try to be kind and patient so you can figure out what is really distracting him
You can't, it is wired in that you are worried about him. It's on him... Usually if my girl does that, I turn my phone on slient and check it periodically too make sure there is no emergencies. Other than that, I wouldn't worry about it. He just needs to not let it get to him. That's it. It's all on him, not you.
U don't sound controlling at all. Of course your explanation of the situation has bias. I think he has the problem with misinterpreting what ur saying. U need to tell him that ur not the only one causing the misunderstanding. He is not understanding what ur saying. Ur only being caring only coming from a loving intention and not trying to give subtle hints. He needs to chill. Tell him it hurts u when he acts so annoyed at ur caring.
It's his mindset. In his head he feels like he needs time where you aren't there. And so when he sees that you been texting him it frustrates him but it also make him feel guilty because he knows you care.
My suggestion. Try giving him a cold shoulder after he leaves for a drink. When he gets home if you aren't asleep don't speak to him. If he pushes as to what's wrong then talk to him. But if not. Wait till morning when he's sober and pick his brain.
I strongly disagree with your second paragraph; the cold shoulder is controlling, as well, it's basically saying "bad dog".
She doesn't own him, she's not his boss, and she shouldn't be forcing him to change for her.
Now Asker knows he doesn't like something, she has the choice of stopping it or driving him away; I expect he's done the same for her in the past.
Maybe, once she's explained why she contacts him, he'll be willing to send a text saying when he's coming home, but she should leave it up to him.
Don't change, explain exactly why you ask that like you did^ to him, and that you're not asking those things in attempt to Manipulate
Are u really checking on his well being or are u checking for other reasons, men can usually tell a difference. But if your absolutely 100% just concerned seems like he has issues and may be getting a little ansy in the relationship
Guys like to be alone and away from women every once in a while. And it's nagging to have a woman check up on us every 30 minutes like we are cheating on them or something when in reality we are just trying to chill alone or with the boys
Did you tell him why you ask him those questions? Try that first. Let him know your reason, even if there's no reasons.
You have to trust him and just let the guy have some space when he's out with his pals. You might enjoy some alone time too. Nobody wants to be texted like that, its like a beckon saying "dont forget about me". Just stop and he will appreciate it.
You're emotionally dependent on him and he's struggling with it.
I saw the back story of his sister and mum. What about his Dad?
Not around, it feels like his mom substitutes him in as a husband in a dependent way sometimes, she honestly can’t let him have a life
Let him know this stuff. Things don't workout, then let's hangout sometime
well duh! you're a woman. its in your nature to be controlling even though you guys don't bring much to the table you still feel like you have the right to control men lol y'all funny creatures
i would say your a good girlfriend, i don't see anything wrong
You can't change that. I think he has problems girl.
One thing is a man will always be a man he doesn't like been controlled and wants his male dominance
Your boyfriend is either a bad boyfriend he's just wanting to control the relationship take a look at what you're doing a little less than what you're doing and maybe that'll fix his behavior