A guy kissed me at the club without my permission and my boyfriend is still bothered by it when the topic of cheating comes up, what do you think?

I was out clubbing with my friends and this older guy who was talking to me made me feel uncomfortable and kept touching my waist and I made indications that I didn’t want him but he just suddenly went in for a kiss. I felt incredibly uncomfortable about it and my friends pulled me out of the situation when they saw what was going on. I text my boyfriend about what happened right away he’s mad of course, he said he wasn’t mad at me just disappointed that he couldn’t be there to protect me. 6 months later he’s still kinda bothered by it when we came to a discussion about a friend we know who cheated and he brought it up as though I had cheated on him.

So was it cheating or was it sexual assault? Because to me it’s like he sees it as cheating even though he says he know it wasn’t and says “but still kissed another guy”. When he kissed me which I didn’t initiate and still feel disgusted by just thinking about the memory, makes me wanna gag.
  • Cheated
    Vote A
  • Unintentional cheating
    Vote B
  • Sexual assault
    Vote C
  • Neither cheating nor sexual assault, but wasn’t your fault
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • that is assault and I hope our society can move past the point where this is okay, or people are quick to judge the victim- for instance saying you were too sexy and he failed to control himself..

    Also, if your boyfriend is still actively upset over this, he needs to grow up. Being upset about this happening is of course understandable. but, being upset months and months late shows some weird hang ups, or a complete lack of the troubles the average woman deals with on a daily basis

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  • Rest assured, you didn't cheat on him, and I'd consider it assault. All sorts of stuff happens at clubs- I've been groped in the crotch by drunk women before (I didn't complain about it because the other guys would have made fun of me).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It was not your fault and yes it was an assault. It can happen any where any time. Like someone on public bus can come and kiss you. You can't avoid that, it is not under your control. But I can understand your boyfriend. He still deep down feels guilty because he thinks that he could not protect you so it is probably makes him angry. He is in denail now. He is not guilty of course he was not even there, it is just a bad memory he can not cope with it. It will fade away by time but you can talk to him and tell him how hard for you to keep remembering this. So let it stay in the past because you can not change what happened. Both of you should accept it and move on. And it is obivously not a cheating I do not even have to mention that.

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What Guys Said 13

  • this happened to my recent ex, in a club when she was celebrating a colleagues leaving party... some guy tried it on and she pulled away, told him to back off...

    he ignored her and attempted again... she did what I'd trained her (self defence techniques) and he was laid unconscious as a result

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  • It definitely wasn't cheating on your part.

    Although if the genders were reversed and it was him who was kissed unexpectedly while at the club, I have a gut feeling women would blame him for cheating and ban him from even thinking about going to the club

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  • I voted sexual assault, but either way it obviously wasn't your fault.

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  • it is clearly Sexual Assault. You did nothing wrong and you were DEFINITELY not cheating so your boyfriend needs to accept the fact that you didn't cheat on him or move on from him

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  • Maybe you should of been clear to the guy that you didn't want to deal with him rather than making indications. What may be an indication to you may have not been to him.

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  • Neither cheating nor sexual assault but it wasn't your fault.

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  • it was just a kiss duh, women make everything big deal
    chillax lady

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  • Without your consent, it's assault.

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  • Bad girl

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  • If you have a boyfriend, and you weren't interested in the guy, you should have said, "I have a boyfriend". If you did and he persisted, he thought you were lying and or playing hard to get. And you should have gotten security involved. If you didn't tell him this, then you should have

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    • Even if I didn’t have a boyfriend they shouldn’t keep pursuing someone who is clearly disinterested. And I’ve used that comment before and 80% the time they don’t care or say “he won’t know”

    • Then you should have gotten security involved. You led him on

  • my friends and i go to the club to have fun, dance, and if it happens meet girls (but often not, because we're there to have fun as a group). i hate the overly sexually aggressive mofos in the crowd who are looking for drunk girls to grind on, makes me sick to see that shit

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  • Clubs are low vibration. They attract sleaze, drugs, promiscuity and excess. Until people realize what that environment is about, and take more responsibility for the environment they allow into their life, then things like this will continue to happen.

    Pay attention to this '' he said he wasn’t mad at me just disappointed that he couldn’t be there to protect me. ''

    So he wishes he was there to protect you from you inability to choose a higher vibrational environment, potentially get into a fight, potentially get stabbed, locked up, or glassed in the face... for what?

    There are better places to spend time in.

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  • Wasn't your fault... What kind of outfit were you wearing at the club?

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    • What does the outfit have to do with it?

    • Show All
    • I looked like everyone else does at the club? No cleavge though

    • What? No cleavage?

What Girls Said 7

  • I think there's some underlying insecurities with him, if he is focusing on it 6 months later and now just bringing it up when a similar topic arises. Try talking to him, and reassuring him that he is the one you love.

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  • Your boyfriend feels as though his manhood is in jeopardy because he wasn't there to protect you. his anger at himself is being released inappropriately towards you. You need to be firm, tell him you wish he were there but he needs to stop making you feel guilty about something someone else did TO YOU 6 months ago.

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  • He should have punched the guy instead of accusing you of cheating.
    I accidently voted for the last option, I meant to click on the third one.

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  • I think it's assault because you made it clear you don't want him.

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  • You have been assaulted.. and I would say the same if I were a guy myself.

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  • Haha sexual assault. Go to jail for kissing people? Maybe those that were kissed should be charged for looking too good to kiss and created an environment that was too sexually charged. Where does it stop?

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  • Unintentional cheating

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