Mmmmmm yeah but nuh unh.
It goes both ways though, it's not really fair to expect me to hold a conversation when she's not really participating herself.
decent hygiene? Expectations a little high in 2020? Ha
"women rated male characters designed to capture high Dark Triad facets of personality (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism) or a control personality. Physicality was held constant. Women rated the high Dark Triad character as significantly more attractive [d = 0.94]"www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0191886913012245
@Rangers You're right! You can't be with an airhead. I can't stand guys that can't hold a conversation either. At least be able to discuss relevant news, what's going on in his life and/or job, and things he's interested or passionate about. I don't think that's asking a lot out of anyone.
It should be asked of both guys and girls, not exclusive to guys
@coachTanthony I mean dang Coach- is it asking to much to date a guy that knows how to use deodorant, combs his hair, washes his hair, and smells good when you cuddle up to him? I better trim my expectations down then! LOL
@Rangers Of course. I'm just speaking from a female perspective. I would hope so! :)
No it's not too much to ask... have you been having issues with this sort of thing?
@coachTanthony I'm happy to say no! The few I have been with were nice and clean :) Nothing like a nice smelling man to make a girl happy. No, my issue is falling for guys everyone else thought was ugly, unattractive, or not my type. But of course I didn't listen. Only for said guy really be ugly- personality wise that is!
"No, my issue is falling for guys everyone else thought was ugly,"You are really starting to intrigue me here!
I agree. Looks fade, especially when a beautiful man open his stupid or racist or narcissistic mouth and an idiot falls out. Ugh, such a waste!
I don't think someone who can't hold a conversation would have any dating potential at all. In fact, you would have more dating potential if you were ugly.
@coachTanthony, Some people don't really need much physical attraction to form romantic feelings. I have a couple of guy friends that are this way. It varies from person to person.
@nella965 Cool! Good deal!
@coachTanthony One day, I'll have to discuss my past dating experiences with you and the guys I dated. You'll either shake your head, or go "Wow" when you tell you some of things and guys I dealt with, haha.
@Cynicaldreamer I wanna be included too!
@DorkVader Yes ma'am! I wish we had a private group chat (hint hint gag admins!) But yeah, I definitely don't mind! Heck, you two are like close friends now; I don't mind talking about my "lovely" past with you... you'll get a laugh I assure you
@Cynicaldreamer @DorkVader YAY alright! I will bring the pork chops!
What's offensive is you said most of us would be offended.
@leftyouonread Haha well I know some of the things I say on here, such as the truth, tends to offend some people. So I had to throw that out there. Mostly to be a little smartass 😊
"Also, worth noting is that how you look affects how you are perceived."YES! Once again, you've nailed it, Bandit. And yet I constantly puzzle over why people are in denial about this.This has even been demonstrated among children! Among babies even, where it's difficult to argue that societal norms have been hammered into them! Babies prefer attractive people! Children rate attractive teachers higher than unattractive teachers.Moreover, a study showed that PARENTS are more attentive to attractive children! Teachers are more attentive to attractive students. This was taught to me during my training.And yet so many seem to deny that such is the case. Why do you think so many deny this, Bandit?
@Bluemax Why do you think so many deny this, Bandit?I don't know, perhaps some people knowingly down play it to come across as more virtuous / having more depth to their personalities. Others might be blissfully ignorant because they haven't experienced it as much themselves or perhaps are just more optimistic believing what makes them feel better similar to how people are with religion.Another factor is that even if people acknowledge it, there really aren't any good solutions to the problem. Like you said, it has been observed that even babies show preference towards conventionally attractive faces so it seemed pretty ingrained in us to prefer beauty. And sexually you can't pressure people to befriend/date/sleep with people they don't want.The only solution I see would be for genetic engineering and/or plastic surgery to advance to the point where everyone or at least a larger % of the population has the option to be good looking but not many people seem to have favorable opinions of either of those options. And even if that were to happen perhaps some other hierarchy would take its place.
what you said is true. However, having a great personality and tremendously kind heart can also make people very fond of you and place you with a much higher regard than the average person. I know cuz it has happend to me. Show people that you are speical and they will treat you special. Its not only looks that make you seem special to people
Yes, it's true we do seem to make it more virtuous when the attractive see past the unattractive. Just look at the legion of "beauty and the beast" stories (although it's interesting to note there is a paucity of such stories where the woman is the beast). In reality, the attractive often *do* see past the unattractive, they just don't want to date them. AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Yet we insist on labeling rejecting someone for his/her appearance as being shallow. How I long to see an end to that word as it's applied in such situations. And the unattractive have it worse, actually. When *they* reject someone based on appearance, it's FAR less acceptable. They're labeled both shallow AND stupid, while people neglect to acknowledge the same forces of evolution are at work equally among the attractive, average, and unattractive alike. Where I *do* think people need to rethink attitudes towards the unattractive are in areas that have nothing to do with romance. Jobs, court, classrooms, etc. And this is where awareness comes into play. You can't fix something if you're unaware of it or refuse to acknowledge it.
As for solutions, I have some suggestions. With existing technology, cosmetic surgery is... sometimes questionable. The results aren't always what the patient aims for... or the surgeon for that matter. As for genetic engineering, quite a few people have moral hangups about that (though I can't agree with them. Very few would have moral hangups about genetically engineering things like muscular dystrophy out of people). Here's my suggestions in the meantime. 1) Acknowledge that we *do* treat people better if they're attractive and worse if they aren't, including areas that have nothing to do with mate choice. Stop denying the stats behind it.2) Work to change those attitudes in ourselves, and not merely for virtue signalling reasons. Also understand that there will be times we fail.3) The unattractive need to try to understand that in many cases, it's a form of learned hopelessness that prevents them from improving themselves. And in many cases, they *can* improve their appearance, particularly in developed nations where obesity is a greater problem (I'm lookin' at you, America). Being healthy often helps.
@Bluemax It's not shallow to date someone that you're not attracted to at all. But realize that there are many of those who wouldn't date someone unless they look hot or at least an 8 out of 10. This is shallow. There are certain people out there (not most of the population) that are very picky when it comes to looks. And often, this will give them a harder time finding their soul mate. Because true compatibility and love may lay in individuals that aren't the most eye catching. Good looks does not mean better love or compatibility. You can't fall in love with someone for their looks. And also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Someone that you think isn't very attractive may be very good looking to somebody else. So you can't really say that Mary is going out with an ugly dude. Because mary might actually find him attractive.
@Bluemax "Jobs, court, classrooms, etc."Yes, definitely.I also find it could be more of an issue going forward with things like LinkedIn being popular for recruiting. I haven't seen any stats on it, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if people who have a profile pic and are physically attractive are more likely to get recruited/offered jobs."With existing technology, cosmetic surgery is... sometimes questionable"I agree which is why I said technology would have to advance for it to really be viable.Things like being able to 3d print bone/tissue and having more precise surgeries via robotics should hopefully help that in the future."As for genetic engineering, quite a few people have moral hangups about that" It's weird, people always claim to be against inequality but when it comes to genetics arguably one of the greatest inequalities of all time they'd rather let status quo remain.Physical attractiveness and IQ are highly dependent on genetics and offer those who are blessed in those categories with immeasurable advantages in so many different aspects of their lives from childhood through adulthood. I don't understand how being able to ensure your child ends up with desirable traits is worse than leaving it up to chance like it is now.
@Bluemax I don't know if I believe ugly women are significantly better off than ugly men. Sure ugly men might have it easier in the sense they are more likely to be able to compensate for their ugliness via monetary success but only a small portion of ugly men will be able to become successful enough to make up for their ugliness and even when they get someone she's probably not actually attracted to them."in developed nations where obesity is a greater problem"That is true. People who are unnatractive due to their weight often get the highest payout for their efforts assuming their have good bone structure under the fat. To be honest tho.. I don't have a ton of sympathy for people who are unnatractive as a result of their weight. To me it is at the very least partially their own fault for becoming fat in the first place and usually within their power to change if they put in the effort. I am much more sympathetic towards people who are unnatractive as a result of their facial bone structure since that is out of their control.
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Yep! Yep! Yep! Brilliant (as usual), Syd!I don't give a damn what the rest of the world thinks. But what *I* think of her matters a great deal.by the way, I knew a friend of a friend who was also Uncle Fester. In fact, he came to my friend's annual Halloween bash as Uncle Fester... and he required no makeup. He even had it so that you could put a light bulb in his mouth and it lit up. His girlfriend at the time was super cute. He was funny and kind and people liked him. (Great parties, btw! My friend and I once made a cadaver for serving snacks. His chest cavity opened, and voila! Chips and dip! And he always made T-shirts for each year... I still have mine!)
Thank you, Mr. Bluemax...That's exactly right!That's awesome that he OWNED his Uncle Fester. That's even more attractive when he has a great sense of humor about it!
"Mr." Bluemax? Are you one of my students? Call me Blue.
Yes, Sir Bluemax is perfectly acceptable!
Movie tickets! YESSSSSSS
Very partial to snacks myself
movie tickets... then the goobers... ju ju beans, popcorn, nestle crunch... the list goes on and on and onnnnnn
You gotta bring outside food into the theater. The thrill of living on the edge and conspiratorial date planning will bring you closer
I did that when I was poor. Bring on the 10.00 goobers!
It's not about being rich or poor. The white collar crime will bring you and your date together, establishing an "us against the world" mentality
You are right! Give me my junior Mints! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M29A6rZpKqk
You framed that oddlyYES I did! Ha
wow very interesting
You don't think Ryan Gosling is good looking? Child please... come on now. LOL
Nah I don’t think he is I mean he’s not my type but I can see why some girls would like him.
Ha Okay... when Ryan Gosling can't get a date we are all screwed! lol
He has recessive traits like blonde hair and blue eyes whereas I prefer darker features on men like he should be tall, olive complexion, brown eyes and brown hair. I also think he can look a bit feminine sometimes and I don’t like feminine looking men at all. I mean he looks like a man in that picture but in other pictures he can look a bit like a pretty boy. I like alpha male types like really manly men. A bit of scruffiness in a man is attractive.
You having a preference is all good! We all do. You said he wasn't attractive. Just can't wrap my head around that!
This girl is funny. 😂😂😂
Same. Looks are #1 as far as attraction goes, but they only factor somewhat into personal investment.
As I think they are for many people. "Is this a face or body I would want to wake up to?" Then it's "is this the type of person I would want in my life?"You're not asking these asking those exact questions per se, but I think you get the point.
Sweet! What are they?
Lol. Are you being sarcastic? I would say personality traits (sense of humor, confidence, intelligence etc.) and stability. Precisely what Cynicaldreamer replied. The issue is, though, this is assuming that the man is, at least, moderately attractive to us. So looks aren't the MOST important, but they're pretty important. www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-physical-attraction-matters-and-when-it-might-notwww.sciencedaily.com/.../170404104722.htmWe want a man with a great personality who is stable in his life but he has to be attractive enough for us. I don't see any woman saying that she's sleeping with a man she is not physically attracted to unless if she is a sapiosexual or another type of sexuality in which physical attributes are not taken into account.
Nice thanks for the comments! Have a great weekend!
Well there ya go! Proof in the puddin right here folks!
Nah coach, I wouldn't be a prime example. We all have our issues that hold us back and we both know I have mine.
Never said prime example. Proof that you and anybody can do it. Prime example would be ME. I am the ultimate case study.
You got me there coach. I got a long way to go. And I'm out tonight👍
That's my cousin Steve.
@leftyouonread Well tell cousin Steve I say Helllooo 😉
LOL oh boy... you just triggered half of GAG guys Ha
I get what you're saying... I have some beef jerky at home and in my car. ;)
The last thing? Child Please!
I suppose this child is surely different.
I like that!
Same, the problem is that finding someone with personality and a kind heart who can hold a conversation is actually a lot harder than it should be if you have to factor in them being into you as well.