Intellectual women are a turn off to so many men because they are boring, overwhelming, and "too difficult" - agree or disagree?

[Anonymous]

From what I've gathered, a few of the reasons many/most men don't like intellectual types are that they are perceived to be boring, conversations are too intense or serious (especially if she has a penchant for depth), and too difficult in a variety of ways. Not light or fun enough, always trying to learn or discuss something, basically. I'm curious to know what you all think about that here.

I've known guys who were intelligent/educated on paper who found any kind of deep/intense conversation to be way too much to handle. "I work all day, I just want a carefree life when I come home." Or guys say, "sometimes you want something easy, path of least resistance and just relaxed." A woman who naturally likes to express opinions, discuss things, etc. seems to the guy like she is "trying to prove something." However, that may just be who she is.

Also, she's too capable and independent. They like someone they can teach that needs their help a lot more.

[razelove]

You turned a question into a statement. I prefer women who are smart, sometimes smarter than me, and definitely independant. I don't know where you're getting boring from though, pretty much all new freaky things I've done have been with nerd girls.

I think part of it is excuses at our age too, a reason to go after the younger model with some justification, because she doesn't have the experiences to really know what she wants yet, or have fully formed her identity.

If it were really about being care-free, or too much work, they'd go after the woman they don't train like a dog and comes with new experiences and ideas already formed and ready.

That's just me though, experience shapes all of us differently.

[Asker]

Interesting, thanks. The boring point was in reference to preferred topics of conversation. A lot of men seem to prefer light, easy, fun in conversation. Intellectuals tend to enjoy the opposite - that is fun to some but boring to others.

[razelove]

Well, I learned pretty early on when I started nerding out on chemistry and electronics that sometimes it isn't the topic that's boring, but how you go about presenting it. I can make a coilgun that can fire reliably, but it's a lot of work, some cash, time, and a ton of explaining.

It turns into a yawn-fest quickly, similarly if I synthesize, say, aspirin, the steps are involved, and again, pretty boring. If instead I get out a string of Christmas lights to start with simple concepts like amperage, voltage, wattage and resistance, I notice there's a lot more attention.

same with showing catalytic reactions using NaOH and Al to produce hydrogen, then tie a fuse on like a balloon string, light it, let go, and watch it go boom.

Most of the time it's a lot less what you say than how you say it. Though, yeah, some people just tune everything out. I have those moments myself and try to recognize them when they happen and figure out why I'm feeling that way.

[egarcia1360]

My girlfriend is somewhere between as smart as me to a bit smarter, and I'm perfectly happy with that as we can talk about interesting topics in meaningful ways. I wouldn't want to date someone who can't keep up with me, nor someone excessively smart whose casual conversation goes over my head. It does make sense that more traditional men, with very strong desires to provide and protect, would want a somewhat weaker woman intellectually as well as physically.

[G3tAClue]

A lot of guys seem to not like smart women. I don’t get it. Like, wouldn’t you want to ensure that your children are smart too?

Hey, maybe these are guys who don’t really respect women to begin with? I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about other men, but I wouldn't find them boring. I think the intellectual discussion that she could yield would be stimulating. Whether she's overwhelming depends on the guy and there interactions within the relationship, and I'm not sure how a particular intelligent women would be too difficult, at least not due strictly to her intelligence (I think that would result more so from things like personality). That being said, the reason I find intelligent women to be a turn off is because they're generally significantly more independent and it leaves much less room for me to take care of her, of which makes me particularly happy in a relationship. I like to help, I like to provide. I like many things that generally aren't present in a relationship with intelligent women.

[Asker]

I do think that last point is true for a lot of men. Curious, what are the other "many things" for you that usually aren't present in a relationship with intelligent women?

[Opinion Owner]

Dependence, emotional delicacy, and "intellectual misfortune" (to sugar coat it) just to name a few. I think all of those are particularly cute and appealing. Though memory is not my strong suit, I'm sure there are other things that aren't immediately coming to mind.

[Asker]

This is the honesty I want, thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

You're more than welcome. Best of luck 🙂👍

[Avicenna]

Well, they're a turn on to me, BUT my dating experience with them is that they have impossible expectations. I've found women who are above average in intelligence but don't see themselves as intellectual to be much easier to date and have relationships with.

[Asker]

Would you elaborate on why you felt they were impossible and why other women are easier to be with?

[Avicenna]

My female family members are very intellectual, so I am used to them and know how to interact with them. That said (and what I said applies to my family members as well), they are in my experience extremely status-conscious (and I've dated enough university professors to see patterns) and pretty narcissistic in general. A guy has to be not only as intelligent (and preferably more intelligent), but he has to have a more prestigious job. He also has to have the correct politics.

Again, this is my experience and what I see from family members.

[blank_expression]

It has nothing to do with intelligence except it seems to turn them narcissistic and into control freaks. But, the worst is a woman that thinks she is smart and not but rattles on bullshit that I couldn’t care less about. I just don’t think arrogant male or female so-called intelligent-s know how to stfu. Women are much worse this way.

[Asker]

I think you basically agreed with what I just said though. "she rattles on bullshit that I couldn't care less about" and "doesn't know how to stfu" could be the same thing as "these intelligent chicks are boring."

[RemoErdosain]

That's how "intellectual women" perceive themselves as. What I don't like about them is their air of superiority, patronizing everyone, and pretending to be "open-minded" when in reality all they want to do in said discussions is stroke their own egos. There are exceptions to the rule, I'm sure, but the vast majority of the "intellectual people" I've met are like that, and vanity is so, so, so unattractive

[Asker]

Intellectuals are definitely not suited to everyone, I totally get that. Thanks for giving another reason why some men don't like intellectual women. I want all the opinions here!

I'm curious about your first point - you think intellectual women perceive themselves as boring, difficult, and overwhelming? Or did you mean something else?

[RemoErdosain]

Yes, I think they regard themselves as "too much" for their partner in the sense that they like ideas too much, when in reality, while that could be the case, the fact that they think of the other person like someone who "won't understand" or will be "bored" may be the reason for conflict

[ohshee]

If a women is independent,, if she is confident, if she is smart if she has goals if she is healthy if she is wise if she likes the same things a guy like or I like I should say if she has a good heart if she loves to laugh and smile,, and if dhe can laugh at herself ,, if she like the sun and out doors if she loves love and is a good hot sexy passionate lover ,, to me thsts a homerun sign me up

[IlyaTheImpaler]

I should only speak for myself. Being intellectual or not isn't important to me, I look for attractive women with a kind personality, with a standard sense of morality and have good health. That's it 😂.

I try to ignore people who want to argue about things without at least grasping propositional logic (most people who don't study logic can't tell the difference between valid arguments and truths so it would be insane to engage in any type of argument with them)

[Thatsamazing]

I don't know; there are a whole hell of a lot of stupid guys out there, and guys don't want a girl who's smarter than they are, generally speaking. It may be an issue of "too much to handle," sure I guess. It's not that we're intimidated by it exactly, just that we don't like it.

[AmeerX]

Wrong intelligent woman I know are only two. They are serious about family and philosophy and government overall.
And they didn't try to impose their beliefs on my. I do wish I adapted their habits in my country.

Rest I knew a teacher who was always trying to be goody goody and ethical but was really a control freak and a coward.

[Bman4907]

I think it's more of the fact that women of that caliber talk down to and about the guy they are dating or married to. Then again a lot of women now a days, don't stop and smell the roses just to relax any more, at least from what I have seen. They don't actively try to make themselves happy. They just focus on what will get them ahead.

[simonqq]

Being boring, overwhelming or too difficult does not equal being intelligent. I find intelligent women very attractive and don't think I'd be able to handle a woman whom isn't intelligent.

[YHL6965]

I really don't know because I actually like deep conversations. I am very close with a female friend because we can literally discuss all day openly about anything and everything and we both love it.

[Asker]

okay sure but friends are different

[YHL6965]

If I like doing something with a friend, I will like doing it even more with a lover in most cases.

[ThatGuy133]

Disagree. I like a good intellectual conversation. It’s good to talk about something other than BS pop culture or vapid topics.

[Whatitis15243]

Disagree, I really like both sides of it. I love the shy woman but I also love the take charge, boss woman

[Asker]

I didn't say anything about being shy lol

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Lol no. They're a turnoff because most of the time they're full of shit and have no real compensation of the subjects they claim to be experts in. High education =/= high intellect.

[KrakenAttackin]

Totally DISAGREE. Intellectual women are super hot, as long as their "intellect" is not SJW/feminist bullshit.

[Meatunnel69]

If she is always correcting him with her “intellect” its a turn off. But intelligence coupled with sense of humor is sexy

[chris_987]

Intelligent has nothing to do with with anything, it’s all boils down to your personality

[AcidT0y]

Nah, I've met intellectual women who are a lot of fun. What's boring is boring women.

[esotericstory]

I like smart girls, I feel bad about dumb girls because it makes it me feel like i am using them.

[8lutty]

what those men dont know is intellectual women is the most kinky hehe