Is 33(M) and 19(F) too big of an age gap?

[Anonymous]

I met this Dutch girl recently. Super-tall, beautiful, curvaceous and busty, and extremely kind and sweet. I only found out today (an hour ago, after texting) that, despite her looks, maturity, and personality, she's technically only 19! I thought she was at least 24 or 25. I usually don't cross the nine-year age gap. Now I feel kinda weird, like she's "too young" for me. But I like her, and from our interactions (her not ghosting me, and taking an active interest to text me first and talk to me; something women don't usually do), she may like me, too.

What do you think? Is it too big of an age gap?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. "She's technically only 19!" There's nothing very technical about this: she is 19 years old.

2. The purpose of an age gap rule is to avoid getting into relationships in which the gap suggests that you won't have much in common with your potential partner. Once you meet someone, your actual experience with them is more important than whatever prediction you would make on the basis of the age difference. You had no problem with her until you found out her actual age.

3. "Super-tall, beautiful, curvaceous and busty." Is this more than simple lust?

[Asker]

I also said "extremely kind and sweet" and takes an active interest in talking to me, but you seemed to have ignored that for some reason.

[OlderAndWiser]

I did not ignore what you said. Okay, she is nice and sweet but she is 19 and perhaps you are concerned about taking advantage of someone who is much younger, so it raises the possibility that your attraction is primarily physical. Ssi I asked a question: is it is lust or is it more? Because if it is more than lust, why are you worried about the age difference?

[Asker]

Never once did it cross my mind if I would ever be "taking advantage" of her, or any woman, for that matter. I am unsure about the age thing, which is why I asked. I mean, when she was ten, I was done with undergrad school. Society just says you "aren't supposed to" date too young, and I've never been with someone this big of an age gap before. As I said, she looks and acts at least like she's in her mid twenties, which is what I assumed she was, at first.

[OlderAndWiser]

That "you aren't supposed to date too young" thing is based on the supposition that the older person may be taking advantage of the younger person. That's why I asked.

If you are happy with her and she is happy with you, why let "society" tell you that you can't date her. It's not illegal and she's a willing participant.

[Anonymous]

Nope. As long as you are both adults age isn't important.

[Kirby89]

Yes, age-wise it is. But to be fair, age is just a number.

You might want to ask more of the maturity. Is she able to keep up talking with you? Do you have to take care of her emotionally most of the time? Etc.

Her parents might not like the age gap and you might have to convince them that you are not only into young girls and really like/love her for her (not for how young she is).

[basedbun]

If you're not attracted to her for the sake of manipulating her, then go for it. If he's mature enough to match you mentally it's all good

[Hannah_le]

As long as u aren’t manipulating her. But like there’s nth wrong if anything. Jus if u rlly like her and want to be in a relationship with her there's nth wrong yk.

[likelyOK]

I sincerely believe you thought she was older but it’s not the age gap that bothers me just how old she is. She is still a kid mentally

[RACSKC0B]

It's simply mind over matter, ... if you two don't mind,, then it don't matter.

[Ekvark]

Alcan appear a little sus, but just don't manipulate/grooming.

[In_Trance]

too big of an age gap... for... what?

[Anonymous]

not unusual i think