How do I tell him I'm no longer interested?

[redpanda_]

So I met up with a guy from a dating site recently, whilst keeping my options open (I've learnt the hard way not to have all my eggs in one basket). However, I have been talking to another guy and have also met up with him a few times now.
I'm starting to feel like I like the second guy more than the first, though the first guy is so lovely. I don't know how to tell him that I'm no longer interested (don't think it's a good idea to say that I'm more interested in someone else over him). I don't want to break his heart, he really is so nice and has a heart of pure gold but I've just had my head completely turned... I'd happily stay friends with him though... help

[btbc92]

Just tell him you're not interested anymore, but don't be his friend. Because of what that says to these men and to us, you're not stable as a person and it just sounds like your in for a lot of drama and problems in this other new potential relationship. If it even gets that far. If this guy is really good, what makes the other more suitable and qualified than this guy? I don't know about you girls these days. Sounds like fickleness. Again, let this go and allow him to find somebody who wouldn't remind him that he isn't worth your time. Your not good for this guy if that is your mindset and attitude. That is my advice to you. Don't be selfish if your that shalllow.

[btbc92]

Here is a question. What about either of these men that makes you like the other more than the one you want to let go of. Do either or meets your standards, morals, desires, ambitions, career paths, sexual choices or morals, religion, faith, etc that you want? I presume that you never asked or checked to see if they qualify in that regard? I'm telling you now. If you have no logic to be dating, you shouldn't be dating before you hurt these men, and it will leave you single. You better evaluate why you are more interested in one over than the other that has nothing to do with looks, just their personality and or how they make you feel. This guy deserves to be with a woman who wants to love him. Not a person playing tiff-a-tat who can't make up their mind in the type of person they want.

[redpanda_]

Well I had all my eggs in one basket with a guy before and he broke my heart. So before anything becomes serious I'm trying not to close anyone out.
The guys are both completely different in terms of looks and what they do. And yes, I check things that are important, I am NOT shallow. I want to meet someone I'd like to settle with. I'm not sure what it is, I just feel I click with the other guy more than I did with the first one.
I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings, I can't help how I feel. I thought I really liked him but I feel I clicked with the other guy a lot quicker. Trust me, I'm not going for the guy who's 'more attractive', he's more like me in that we both don't have and don't really like tattoos for ourselves, we love to travel and things like that. The other guy has tattoos, stretched ears but also enjoys travelling.

[btbc92]

The problem is simply this. Dating is about processing and elimination. You need to be careful what you feel because you do not what to just have to be with anybody based on what you feel because what you may feel can also deceive you if you are not careful. However, if you knew that the guy had things you were not attracted to, you shouldn't have dated him at all. PERIOD.

[redpanda_]

I think you're misunderstanding the situation. I did like the guy, I wouldn't have led him on and gone on dates with him if I didn't feel anything - I don't do sympathy dates. I liked him for things that we have in common and stuff, it's not all about looks in the end is it? It's not that I didn't find the piercing and tattoos attractive, I have piercings too, I just have the preference of no tattoos but won't judge a person if they have them or not

[devilman666]

Give up on being friends with him, you already burned that bridge. Just tell him the truth, that you've been seeing someone else behind his back, that way he doesn't have to wonder if he did something wrong, he'll know the relationship fell apart solely because of you. When you date multiple people at the same time you lose the right to put people down gently or judge others for cheating, you just gotta own the fact that you don't have morals.

[redpanda_]

We never agreed exclusivity, if we had I'd never have even considered meeting the other guy. I've never judged anyone for cheating, I can't talk as I did it as a teen. I've never done it again, for someone I was in a proper relationship or exclusively dating. You're making out I've been in dozens of different dates when in fact it's 2 people. I do have morals, because I know it would have been wrong if I was in a relationship with him or if I was exclusively dating him but I wasn't, I'd have said we were seeing each other, seeing how things go.

[devilman666]

Did you agree on exclusivity with the guy who cheated on you and broke your heart? Idgaf if it's dozens or two, if you were seeing a guy and found out he was seeing other women, you'd be hurt because you probably felt like he like you and made you feel kinda special. The fact that he's seeing someone else ruins that feeling, the same is true for a guy who's seeing a woman and finds out she's seeing other guys.

Do we have to sign contracts of exclusivity now or just verbal agreement?

[redpanda_]

Actually, yes. And ngl, I would be if we had agreed to be exclusive, but if not I can't be mad. I never said that, I just mean it's something I discuss with the person first before assuming