I went on a date with this guy yesterday. The date went well besides the fact that he was 30 minutes late. He’s a nice guy, however, I’m not attracted to him. We aren’t on the same level mentally and he has 3 kids with 2 baby mamas and lives with his mama.. I didn’t know any of this when I first met him. Otherwise I wouldn’t have even given him my number. He asked me if we were on the same page and I have yet to respond. This is what I was going to say :
I think you’re a cool person but I don’t have the patience or mental capacity to deal with someone that has 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. I’m not interested in taking on the baggage that comes with that and I believe my future entails more than that.
You don't owe him shit. He should've been upfront from jump. Men always say they don't want women with multiple kids and baby daddies so you have a right to decline like that's too much baggage.
The concern with your response is that he may try to go back and forth. i think what you said is valid. You are not a nanny or should have to be some other kids mom. Hell u can even ghost him
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Just be polite but honest, that is always the kindest thing to do. Say "I don't think we have any chemistry/we don't really click with each other. Good luck with everything!" I would say that.
That's why you aren't into him, yes? And it's a perfectly good reason to not want a second date with someone.
If he takes it the wrong way or reacts badly, that's not your problem.
That seems mostly ok. I would maybe leave off the very end about how your “future entails more than that”, I would take that as a bit of a low blow if I was him. Make it about his life circumstances not being a match for you, but don’t make it out like his life circumstances make him a loser and you’re better than him. Even if there’s some truth to it, lmao, keep it polite.
- u
After just one date, I don't think you owe him that much of an explanation. "You seem to be a nice guy and I don't want to lead you on. I don't think we have enough in common to invest more time together, and I don't see that changing, so I appreciate you asking but I really must decline your offer of a second date."
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It’s very difficult especially when they are nice people.
I usually told them I was moving away 🤣🤣🤣
That is way better than my response which would be: "Sorry bro, we ain't vibing"
This is a tough question, you don't owe him a great deal of explanation. All you have to say is "I'm sorry I don't feel it" I've done that in a day and the girl agreed with me. Honest truth thankfully. But don't push it off doing as soon as possible. I messaged her the next morning and told her. Maybe I should have said it in person I don't know. But yes, the sooner the better.
I would just tell him you can't take a guy on who has 3 kids to 2 baby mamas, and who lives with his mama, yes that is too much for you to take on and simply tell him that one.
With my personal experience on dating apps, the few women I have met in person have mostly rejected me with a “you are a good person and a wonderful soul but…” text message. And it’s always been after I sent a second follow up message as to why they aren’t responding. The other times a rejection has been clear to me is when I just get blocked/green bubbled in texting without an explanation on their end. The way I would tell someone I’m no longer interested would be through my language. No longer flirty and that would probably be a good hint.
Not Into That Myself----Let Him Know You Both are in a Totally Different Way of Life and If he Asks How is That-----Tell Him You Would Prefer A Man With No Kids. xxoo
"No longer" indicated I was previously interested. Small chance for that... But I would say it openly, considering his emotions and giving him enough information for closure.
Ey thats respectable and is a very clear and respectful way to express your disinterest, it's a good and mature way to cut things off, shows honesty and that you aren't playing around when it comes to your relationship, sounds good to me
@OlderAndWiser definitely gave a very wise advice, I couldn’t agreed more :)
you could say that you're on and off with someone else and right now it's on.
You find out where he is going to be and then go there with your new boyfriend. He will figure it out.
Did you at least pay your half of the date.. it’s a shame that you did all that to and then made him pay. Least you could have done is pay for your half if you didn’t feel the vibe throughout the date.
Terrible way to word it. Just say that you’ve thought about it, and decided that you’re not interested.
I'm not interested in dating you. It's that easy.
Honestly if this is only the first date, you maybe dont even need to mention him having 3 kids & 2 baby mama's.
Hopefully you at least gave the the customary first date BJ.
@OlderAndWiser said it perfectly
Just say he's not what your looking for
Polite direct honesty is The Best policy!
- u
kindly...
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