How do you tell someone you’re no longer interested in them?

[Pink2000]

I went on a date with this guy yesterday. The date went well besides the fact that he was 30 minutes late. He’s a nice guy, however, I’m not attracted to him. We aren’t on the same level mentally and he has 3 kids with 2 baby mamas and lives with his mama.. I didn’t know any of this when I first met him. Otherwise I wouldn’t have even given him my number. He asked me if we were on the same page and I have yet to respond. This is what I was going to say :
I think you’re a cool person but I don’t have the patience or mental capacity to deal with someone that has 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. I’m not interested in taking on the baggage that comes with that and I believe my future entails more than that.

Updates

+1 y

After I blocked the guy he just started texting me from a fake number

[DreamLife7]

You don't owe him shit. He should've been upfront from jump. Men always say they don't want women with multiple kids and baby daddies so you have a right to decline like that's too much baggage.

The concern with your response is that he may try to go back and forth. i think what you said is valid. You are not a nanny or should have to be some other kids mom. Hell u can even ghost him

[Pink2000]

Honestly you’re right. I thought about ghosting him but he does seem like a nice guy but I feel like we just aren’t compatible. I was gonna tell him how I felt and then block him after.

[TenderFantasy]

Well to be fair, I don't think it's possible to know everything about someone right away. He probably knew that was a lot to take in. However, at least he was honest as early as possible, not five months to a year later.

[DreamLife7]

@TenderFantasy stop it. 3 kids and multiple baby mommas? U got to be kidding me. stop making excuses for these men. @Pink2000 u owe him nothing really. But your response is valid. He would be a no for me too

[TenderFantasy]

@dreamlife7 But it's true! There's only 24 hours in a day. But if you want to be very strict with someone that's your call. Maybe he felt it wasn't really any of her business? At least not yet? I just have a heart and was trying to understand him. Where's yours? !

And I didn't say what she was doing was incorrect. She has every right to reject/say no for whatever reason.

[Pink2000]

Lmao so I told him “I don’t think we have enough in common to invest more time in eachother” and blocked him immediately and I work up to him trying to add me on Snapchat.

[DreamLife7]

@TenderFantasy your self esteem is low and so are your standards. You're the same type of chic who ignore red flags and make excuses for men who don't want u

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 good ! Do not settle. Block his ass on snap too🤣.

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 I don't know why he's not taking no for an answer like this is why women ghost guys.

[TenderFantasy]

@Dreamlife7 "You're the same type of chic who ignore red flags and make excuses for men who don't want u

"Haha thanks for those assumptions. Like said, I just try to use common sense and also have a heart. Maybe I did to that when I was younger, but I did learn my lessons and you will not see me doing those things again. But like I said, you also have to be realistic. You're just closed minded with the fact that you NEED time to get to know someone, hopefully sooner than later. The earlier you know you're not compatible, the better for both! Hopefully you understand that things take time!

[TenderFantasy]

@dreamlife7 Also, why do you personally attack me as if you know what I am all about? Lol maybe you're the one that needs to grow up.

@Pink2000 yeah do what you want, you're free to. I never said you couldn't block him. If you feel that's the right thing to do, and it's not illegal, then don't and be done with it. No need to drag it out! Just do it!

[DreamLife7]

@TenderFantasy your self esteem , self worth and standards are low. Women like you are why men think they can over step boundaries with women. Get yourself together

[Pink2000]

Damn 😭

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 girl I'm glad you have boundaries. Cause the fact he still trying after you told him no is crazy. Smh lol wow. Also, is there a reason why didn't he tell you about the kids upfront? Either way you did what was right for you. He should've let u know about kids immediately

[Pink2000]

Right. Cause I definitely wouldn’t have wasted my time. I told my mom and she said the exact same thing you said !! You’re not wrong at all

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 see uh uh these guys play games 🤣. He knew if he would've told you immediately you would've ran

[TenderFantasy]

@Pink2000 You're mom and @dreamlife7 doesn't know what they're talking about. You guys don't have hearts honestly. He did NOTHING wrong at first meeting. But yes, now that he won't take no for an aswer, that means he is harrassing you. I thought you blocked him already, why is he still contacting you? Lol, so silly. I don't believe you.

[Pink2000]

@TenderFantasy well if you read what I said you would see that I said he tried adding me on Snapchat after I blocked his phone number… and I think it would have been best if he was open about his multiple kids and baby mamas from the get go. Because we literally spent almost 2 weeks texting… before he asked me out on a date.

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 block @TenderFantasy she's literally a troll and be in everyone's comments trying to argue. She's insecure as hell and a pick me who men never choose

[TenderFantasy]

@dreamlife7 Maybe you should get a life literally yourself. Calling me a troll just because I don't agree, get outta here lol.

[DreamLife7]

@TenderFantasy that's why u were dumped after 5 months. She doesn't need to take advice from u. Then u have the audacity to talk about her mother girl get outta here

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 see yeah he's crazy. Good thing you trusted your gut and said no

[TenderFantasy]

@dreamlife7 I just think there are nicer ways to let someone down. No one's cool just because they are an asshole. There's too many out there already. And my ex left me, not because of anything I really did wrong, you don't know the whole story. If her mom is as immature and crass as both of you, it's no wonder you guys are ghetto like that lol. I have class and now that I think about it, I'm GLAD he left. I could definitely do better.

[DreamLife7]

@TenderFantasy no one's taking advice from a dumped lonely old hag lol 😆 .

[Pink2000]

@TenderFantasy some of us know our worth and know not to waste our time on the wrong people. We have common sense. I definitely wasn’t an asshole to him. I simply said “I don’t think we have enough in common to invest more time in eachother” and this was after he got mad at me because I didn’t text him all day !!! Lmao. I was definitely right for trusting my gut. You’re just a fool.

[DreamLife7]

@Pink2000 she's a dang senior citizen still out here getting dumped acting ghetto talking about people's mom. @TenderFantasy is your mom even alive still? Cause you're old.

[DreamLife7]

She's desperate , old, and insecure.

[Biancam13]

Just be polite but honest, that is always the kindest thing to do. Say "I don't think we have any chemistry/we don't really click with each other. Good luck with everything!" I would say that.

That's why you aren't into him, yes? And it's a perfectly good reason to not want a second date with someone.

If he takes it the wrong way or reacts badly, that's not your problem.

[WhiteSteve]

That seems mostly ok. I would maybe leave off the very end about how your “future entails more than that”, I would take that as a bit of a low blow if I was him. Make it about his life circumstances not being a match for you, but don’t make it out like his life circumstances make him a loser and you’re better than him. Even if there’s some truth to it, lmao, keep it polite.

[Pink2000]

Yeah you’re right

[OlderAndWiser]

After just one date, I don't think you owe him that much of an explanation. "You seem to be a nice guy and I don't want to lead you on. I don't think we have enough in common to invest more time together, and I don't see that changing, so I appreciate you asking but I really must decline your offer of a second date."

[Pink2000]

That is perfect !

[TenderFantasy]

Wow are you articulate. Lol, sounded like my last ex.

Left me after five months of talking everyday and hanging out once or twice a week, had plans to move in together and saying he cared about me and wouldn't leave me. Lord.. at least this person knew earlier 😞

[OlderAndWiser]

@TenderFantasy Yes, as you obviously know, the deeper you get into the relationship, the breakup becomes even more painful. It hurts, of course, but you eventually move forward, a little bit older and a little bit wiser.

[TenderFantasy]

@OlderAndWiser Yeah I don't have a choice but to go back to the drawing board. I can't believe I met someone that was judgmental and critical of me and just didn't truly love me the way that I needed. He even gave me this song and I dreamt about it this morning https://youtu.be/roX8aPr-eJI?si=tGJFmj2UU5CwvHA1 Life is so unfair. His dad even hurt me accidentally. I'm not going to get into that but yeah. I wish he was more committed. I'm glad you still found love at your age. That's awesome. Gives me hope to still go out there again, but I had also just wanted children finally. I really wish things turned out differently and that he actually LOVED me enough to be with me through the good and the bad stuff. We could have been one of the best power couples out there, us against the world type of thing. ... I've always dreamed of a man going on one knee and proposing to me at the beach... having a beautiful wedding, joining me to ultrasound appointments, having him rub and kiss our unborn from the womb type of thing... I wonder why other women got to experience that stuff and not me 😞. It was either someone who was divorced with a child that I didn't want him already experienced that stuff, or this! Someone too judgmental and critical and unforgiving!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s very difficult especially when they are nice people.

I usually told them I was moving away 🤣🤣🤣

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks god, now I have a broken leg, this past month It was a good excuse.

Will have to think of something new, as I get totally well.

[KrakenAttackin]

@LaFemmeFatale_1. You poor thing, so many men fighting for you! 😏

[DreamLife7]

Girl grow up , get some boundaries and self respect

[Account]

That is way better than my response which would be: "Sorry bro, we ain't vibing"

[Drew-1990]

This is a tough question, you don't owe him a great deal of explanation. All you have to say is "I'm sorry I don't feel it" I've done that in a day and the girl agreed with me. Honest truth thankfully. But don't push it off doing as soon as possible. I messaged her the next morning and told her. Maybe I should have said it in person I don't know. But yes, the sooner the better.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would just tell him you can't take a guy on who has 3 kids to 2 baby mamas, and who lives with his mama, yes that is too much for you to take on and simply tell him that one.

[Pink2000]

You’re right. It’s way too much for me to take on.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Pink2000 He should take no for an answer

[Lonelydudewantsagirl]

With my personal experience on dating apps, the few women I have met in person have mostly rejected me with a “you are a good person and a wonderful soul but…” text message. And it’s always been after I sent a second follow up message as to why they aren’t responding. The other times a rejection has been clear to me is when I just get blocked/green bubbled in texting without an explanation on their end. The way I would tell someone I’m no longer interested would be through my language. No longer flirty and that would probably be a good hint.

[Paris13]

Not Into That Myself----Let Him Know You Both are in a Totally Different Way of Life and If he Asks How is That-----Tell Him You Would Prefer A Man With No Kids. xxoo

[IslaTheWitch]

"No longer" indicated I was previously interested. Small chance for that... But I would say it openly, considering his emotions and giving him enough information for closure.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Ey thats respectable and is a very clear and respectful way to express your disinterest, it's a good and mature way to cut things off, shows honesty and that you aren't playing around when it comes to your relationship, sounds good to me

[bobalife]

@OlderAndWiser definitely gave a very wise advice, I couldn’t agreed more :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I appreciate your kind words.

[sage2021]

you could say that you're on and off with someone else and right now it's on.

[exitseven]

You find out where he is going to be and then go there with your new boyfriend. He will figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Did you at least pay your half of the date.. it’s a shame that you did all that to and then made him pay. Least you could have done is pay for your half if you didn’t feel the vibe throughout the date.

[Pink2000]

I don’t believe in going half. I’m not a pick me. He paid. As he should. He invited me and it was his idea.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Terrible way to word it. Just say that you’ve thought about it, and decided that you’re not interested.

[DreamLife7]

Yeah short, simple and to the point prevents back and forth confrontation. @Pink2000 just say this..

[CozyCoffin]

I'm not interested in dating you. It's that easy.

[Anonymous]

Honestly if this is only the first date, you maybe dont even need to mention him having 3 kids & 2 baby mama's.

[JamesRandiDebates]

Hopefully you at least gave the the customary first date BJ.

[7Phoenix7]

@OlderAndWiser said it perfectly

[OlderAndWiser]

I appreciate your kind words!

[Crankor]

Just say he's not what your looking for

[FenixG45]

Polite direct honesty is The Best policy!

[NathanDavis]

kindly...

[laly520]

directly with no games

[KrakenAttackin]

Just tell him to fuck off. He will get it.

[Pink2000]

That’s mean

[KrakenAttackin]

Men are used to it.

[KrakenAttackin]

Besides, three kids with two baby mamas means this guy has shit-for-brains.

[888theGreat]

ok go ahead and tell me

[justabuddy]

You gotta woman up and tell them.

[Pink2000]

I told him

[Anonymous]

why go on a date if you dont find him attractive

[Pink2000]

Because I’m trying to give him a chance and date outside my type