Boyfriend won't kiss me if I've been smoking is that fair?

Question

I'm only a social smoker who smokes when I'm drinking with friends, my boyfriend and I have had many arguements about this because he hates smoking but I'm not stopping I think I'm being reasonable by only smoking when I go out.

Anyway he refuses to kiss me or have sex if I've been smoking, says I stink and taste disgusting, even if I clean my teeth.

After a night out with the girls I really wanted sex and he turned me down, which really hurt and pissed me off, what can I do?

ADD: Don't tell me to quit smoking because I won't. I've already cut down to social smoking.

Paul09 · Accepted Answer

You do t give a sh*t about your health or hygiène. So just break up already. It is disgusting and nasty. And I once was a "social smoker" for 10 years. And tried quitting twice during that time. Till I had enough of this useless smoking cigarettes. Not 1 good thing comes from smoking cigarettes. It's all negatives, so be prepared. You are asking for it. So I'm seeing peer pressure as control of you. Or nicotine has a rope around your neck.
Cons.. You literally burn money, you smell bad, stinks up you and your clothes, yellow teeth, yellow hands, black lungs, horrible smokers cough, always need it and can't live with out it. Causes pollution, fucks up peoples fresh air, doesn't give you a buzz or anything, so why even smoke?

Pros.. Um more tax money for the government I guess, good for them. Name me some pros please.

At Least smoke the good stuff lol.

FakeName123 · Accepted Answer

Would you suck his dick when he didn't clean it and has dickcheese on it? No?

Well, that's exactly how he feels. You smoking is utterly disgusting to him. As a non-smoker I can relate. You smell like smoke, you taste like smoke, it's just incredibly offputting and turning off.

Of course you can still continue to smoke and ignore your boyfriends request to stop smoking. But if you do you also need to accept him not wanting to become physically intimate with you when you smoked. You can't say that you will not compromise on smoking, yet want him to compromise on his disgust for the smell of smoke. Gotta have your cake and eat it, too.

.

And just to bring it home once again. Smoking smells DISGUSTING to pretty much every non-smoker.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Totally fair. Smoking is gross and completely unhealthy. I wouldn't kiss someone who had been smoking either.

I know that you don't want people telling you to quit, which is fair. It's your body and your choice. But on the flip side, you don't get to decide your boyfriend's choice regarding this. It's his body and his choice, and if he doesn't want to kiss or have sex with someone who just smoked, that's perfectly reasonable.

SandandWaves · Accepted Answer

Did he used to smoke? did he meet you when you smoked more than social

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You think that he should change to accommodate you and your habits/preferences, but you don't want to change to accommodate him and his habits/preferences. To where do you think this leads?

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

Thats understandable.

Smoking does stink, even more if you are not a smoker, the smoke and the disgusting smell does linger in the hair, on the clothes, on your skin, ... until you wash it.

You can come to a compromise, like you start smoking electric cigarettes, these don't smell bad.
However if you are only a social smoker, the smoke from others also does cling to you and you will also reek of cigarettes.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

I don't see either one of you as being unreasonable.

My question is: how in the hell do you expect this relationship to last? He doesn't like the way you smell after you smoke, which is completely reasonable, and you don't want to quit, which is your prerogative.

Neither of you can force the other to change how you think/feel/act, nor should you try, but neither one of you is going to be happy over the long term, because of this.

exitseven · Answer

The fact is that he hates the way it makes your mouth taste. I dated several girls that smoked. It never was a problem for me. One of them used some mouthwash before we kissed and thought the mouthwash was worse than the smoking.
Can't you at least brush your teeth first. ?

Nik1hil · Answer

I salute to your boyfriend! .

He is the good guy according to me..

You are smoking and killing yourself..

I am surprised he hasn't broken up with you..
If it was me. I would have already moved to a better girl!..

There must be something in you that he hopes you would quit smoking and become the perfect girl for him...

BirdshotJohn · Answer

Yes, this is reasonable on his part. I know plenty of guys who smoke socially and whose wives do not, and they all get the same treatment.

What most of them do is just bring a toothbrush and toothpaste with them to the events where they'll be hacking darts with the boys (Aka, me, the single dude who currently smokes) and have their last cigarette about an hour before they leave, brushing their teeth as well.)

AzzaBlue · Answer

Smoking is a disgusting habit, so I understand him not wanting to get taste of it. Having said that though, he should have considered this before entering a relationship with you. In this regard, yes he is being unfair to you as he was well aware that you are a smoker. On the other hand you are being unfair to him and yourself by maintaining this habit.

ryancg · Answer

I don't know why so many people are being an asshole in response to this just because you smoke on occasion, no need for that shit. Did your boyfriend know before you guys got together that you're a social smoker? If so, I just don't understand why he started dating you in the first place if it's such a big problem for him.

Quidthonian · Answer

He is fair. I would have dumped you after the first cigarette. This is how strong my "clean lungs" resolution is. Personally, I'd rather be alone than with a smoker. To me, any smoker signals that she is weak: she feels the need to submit to social pressure and take narcotics. Yes, I do consider cigarettes as addictive narcotics.

admles · Answer

LOL, first, stop saying you're a "social smoker" - you're either a smoker or you aren't.

Second, quit smoking, it literally adds nothing to your life.

Third, yes it's fair. Smokers stink, their breath stinks, and it's also just completely unattractive to see.

Bakcula · Answer

Smoking is an ugly disgusting habit. It's clear you don't give two fucks about your health and he cares more about his than to kiss and lick the ashtray at the bar. Look girl if I gave you an ashtrey full of cigs to lick clean how would you feel the taste in the mouth?
NO one likes to kiss and ashtrey it's fucking filthy.

Unfortunately for you, smoking is in your blood and you find nothing wrong with kissing an ashtrey.

Anonymous · Answer

Just stop smoking. How do expect him to have sex with you when your body and mouth smell bad. Do you even think his dick can erect with that kind of smell? Do you think you can have sex with unwashed butthole on your face? If you cannot stop smoking than wash your self properly before kissing or having sex. He already respect your smoking addiction then you should respect his.

ScoreSurfer · Answer

Start with getting him in the mood for sex, get him really in the mood and then tell him that he needs to give in to your pleasures as you give him more pleasure. After a few minutes of being in the mood, he may change his mind. It isn't as bad as he things, especially if he wants to give you pleasure also. I love smoking "during" sex with my partner.

GnatSocks · Answer

It's fair. You can't force your boyfriend to sleep with you. He laid the ground rules. He isn't controlling you, but that smell and taste is something he does not like, and you can't force it on him.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I wouldn't want to make out with my girlfriend if she tasted like an ash tray either.

slatyb · Answer

You should just break up. Your boyfriend doesn't want to date a smoker, and you don't want to be a non-smoker.

Anonymous · Answer

If he doesn't smoke either I get where he's coming from. The smell after someone smokes is just overpowering and it can easily get everywhere. I wouldn't kiss someone who just smoked either.

chriscdi · Answer

well if you are breathing in his face with that forestfire ass breath while having sex then i can see his point

Skankhunt · Answer

Some people find it disgusting to kiss someone after he or she smoked. Fact is, if you had a cigarette, you smeel out of yoru mouth. So, I can understand your boyfriend.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's very fair; that's HIS preference... you can't change his preference.

Boyfriend won't kiss me if I've been smoking is that fair?

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