I called my boyfriend and a woman answered his phone?

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... that obviously sounds suspicious.

So, clearly you need to confront your boyfriend, see what he has to say, and then determine whether or not you believe him.

There could possibly be an innocent explanation of some sort. But whatever that might be... won't be something that people on GAG are likely to think of.

So try not to freak out until you talk to him. But definitely talk to him.

With the information you posted and nothing more... you are likely to get a bunch of responses that confirm your worry that "he is clearly cheating".

Listen, you will literally never find anyone on this planet who is more against cheating than I am. I still think that talking to him is the ONLY way you're going to gain any actual insight into what's going on.

I think that people's answers to this particular post are not going to be helpful. They can't possibly be. Be careful about taking to heart other people's reactions to this post. There is not enough information for anyone reading this to tell you ANYTHING aside from what you already know "hmmm... a woman answering your boyfriend's phone... sounds like he's cheating to me"

That is not helpful to you. All it can do is to solidify your (understandable) prejudice that this is him cheating. Maybe not. Make him look you in the eyes and explain. You'll be able to tell if he's being honest. I really hope there is some other explanation. Good Luck. 🙂

[Xitomyth]

Well, either she is his other girl and he is cheating on you or she is randomly messing with both of you. Could be his sister/cousin/female friend and decided to use his phone for some reason and mess with his life. Could be he lost his phone and she is a random a** hole who gets off on messing with people's lives/relationships. She could have taken him captive because she's obsessed, think yandere, and is trying to cut him off from anyone who can help him. Your best bet is to track him down in person and confront him about it if you can. Usually when a woman picks up and answers that he's busy it means they're having sex. Not all the time though, she could be his manager/handler in some capacity and is trying to keep him form getting distracted form what ever his task is...

Odds are she is either your "competition" for his affections, obsessed with him in some capacity (romantic or horribly protective as a relative) - woman can be territorial, even as just a friend, and they will attack anyone who trespasses, or she is trying to mess with him for some reason and that spilled over to you, it's quite common, she's probably the stereotypical catty woman. Stereotypes exist for a reason...

Again, confront him about it. That's the only way to get the truth unless you know someone else close to him who will dig into it for you. Also, if you, or both of you, never agreed to be exclusive, he could be under the impression that he is free to date others at the same time. She could be his ex or neighbor or something and she is either territorial or pissed with him and just happen to lash out at you...

[tiffany_g]

Too few details provided. Was this a cell phone or land line? Does he have any female relatives he's around on a regular basis? Have you heard his mother's voice before, and is it distinctive enough in your head to rule out?

This is something you need to talk to him about. He could have been at work and that could have been his coworker or manager. Just today I forgot to set my phone to silent, my manager was in the office next to the break room where I keep my purse, and I heard it start ringing. Then I heard her (paper thin walls separating the office and break room from the register area) say "she's busy" before coming out to tell me that she set it to silent for me.

He may have been doing something with his mother. Moving furniture or something like that. You know how well boundaries work against mothers. They even crap all over the boundaries of their fully grown children.

Or he could simply be cheating on you. This isn't really a question anyone here can answer. Mother, coworker/boss, sister, aunt, female cousin, the other woman, his cell phone was stolen and the thief answered, there are just far too many possibilities and any answer anyone gives is mere speculation.

[crazyish]

Don't do anything drastic. You need to wait until you talk to him. I've honestly witnessed a close friend of my family answer my brother's phone and say this to the girl he was talking to when she called because she didn't like her personally. Some women are bitches. Straight up. I know it's hard but try not to jump to conclusions until you know for sure. She could be a coworker or friend who wants him. He could've left his phone while in bathroom or anything really. But if you find out he was sitting right there while this girl did it then do yourself a favor and never speak to him again. Same goes for if he knew about it after the fact but didn't call to try and explain anything. That's very disrespectful.

[Cynicaldreamer]

And you're really on here asking us what you should do?

Girl dump his cheating ass!!! That's not just red flag, that's a blaring siren! Hell I'm shocked you're still referring to him as a boyfriend because the correct term should be "ex."

[Chikky]

Don't conclude, try and get more information before you start judging

[Account]

I dont want to be the one to break the bad news to you but...

[OlderAndWiser]

She thinks SHE is his girlfriend and she is asking him if he has another woman on the side.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Think it might be time to find a new boyfriend..

[Jaumet]

In this day and time... and honestly just watching something on one of the discovery channels... starts to raise more questions that it could ever answer. Hell, how would you feel about having a sister wife? It's like they would rather blame you for not being with him to make sure he is not "If you can't be with the one you love... love the one you are with."

We really do live in a really fucked up and confusing time... I also believe it has caused us to overthink things and assume things... even though I truly believe that you are actually just posing this as a hypothesis and has never actually happened to you... since you probably would be writing this from jail if it actually did. If some girl answered your boyfriends phone and told you that he did not want to have anything to do with you... I would not blame you one bit if you took action.

Just saying, Ya know?

[razelove]

Why get so bent about whether you're number 1 or number 2? That's really what this question boils down to. You wouldn't be asking if it was an older woman who answered, rather than younger sounding.

He's seeing someone else, and you're not sure if you're the girl on the side or she is. What difference does it make? All aspects of poly relationships aside, he was boning down with another woman and didn't think it was relevant to tell you about that.

You're willing to accept that there's another woman, but not willing to do so if it means that you aren't number 1. If you aren't in the know, you aren't number 1.

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

Not enough details, plus it sounds like fake news. If this was true then there isn't any talking needed. He shouldn't be letting people answer his phone.

If this really happened I think that you would be way too upset to have posted this without talking to him first.

I am no professional but if something tragic happened to m, like a car accident I would not turn to GAG before calling the cops.

I think this whole thing is made up.

[Mofunfour20]

You should just ask him who she was? Why would you want advice if you dont even have enough information to form a rational question. Without giving us context you may drive yourself crazy by investing in outlandish theories. ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND? If this is how you communicate and process situations you may waste a lot of time, unless you seek emotional chaos. Thats what it lools like

[DJB72]

Without more information, such as time of day, what he does for work, does he have a sister/cousin/female relative it could be, etc it's impossible to make an accurate interpretation.

A radical question given the way things are these days: does he know you're exclusive, not just friends with benefits?

[Floppy2112]

Yeah, you no longer have a boyfriend. I thought y'all were broke up anyway? What's the dill, pickle? He screwed you over. He's the bad guy and a jerk, but it's your job to recognize it and mourn it.
I am sorry this happened to you, but denial isn't going to help you here. Believe it. Cry. Let it out. And get ready for, hopefully, new love which is sure to come. There is nothing I can say that is going to make this part less painful. Getting dumped hurts. And I don't have a pill for heart break. If you need a shoulder to cry on, virtually, you can borrow mine.

[Shaggy_KW]

Oof that could be bad, I'm a bit late to the invite so sorry if this went differently than I'm theorizing. Could just be a bitch that didn't think to say "Your boyfriend is doing something." Yknow because he was busy, or it could be he was cheating on you which is most likely, unfortunately.

[Hannah_le]

Well you already know u gotta pull up to his house n do a drive by 😤. Im just kidding but nah I’d go to his house immediately I mean the whole thing is hella sus. He doesn’t seem like he can be trusted.

[ohshee]

Has he called you back
Since it's Mother's Day it could be his mother this kind of taking it kind of far my mom would never answer my phone for me not unless I asked her to which I wouldn't do I don't know I think that no matter who answered his phone he was at least called you back and I know if it was my phone and my mom did answer the phone. She would say who's this , this is his mother. And then in the background you hear me say Mom WTF lol

[Elsa143]

People like him are the reason why I feel an urge to keep testing partner's loyalty and have forever trust issues.
I'm 100% sure that when he feels alone again, he will start licking your feets and use smooth, lovely and convincing words to bring you back.

[Pyrofox]

Probably his coworker or assistant. Just looking out for him. If he's the lovey dovey one she was just trying to look out for him. I wouldn't read too far into this or ya will drive yourself bonkers for no reason.

[Anon621]

I think you should ask him who the woman was instead of jumping to conclusions or even better you could have asked the woman herself when she answered the phone unexpectedly and then saw what she said.

[CrazyGirl2]

I thought you broke up with him? I’m beginning to think you are just making this stuff up! You’ve been telling us ridiculous tales that all end with “why did he say that”, for weeks, and finally you said you guys broke up, now you have a boyfriend again? Lemme guess we’ll begin getting back to the “why did he say that” questions again soon?

[Newhead]

If it's not a prank, you getting cheated on girls. kidding, I don't want to ruin your life, why don't you ask him?

[MCheetah]

More like "he's GETTING busy!" OH!

... Yeah, he's probably cheating on you. Or he has a sister.