Men, How Do You Make a Woman Feel Safe?

Question

I am sensitive, partly due to my personality but also past experiences. I also have this goal to be married and have my own family, whenever the time is right.

When meeting new guys, I want to feel safe before I become vulnerable. I. e. I need to know that the guy has the same intention as me and isn't just talking to me to get me in his bed or just pass time.

Men, what are some signs to look out for? What do you do/have done in the past when you're talking to a girl you're genuinely interested in?

Leavesbound · Accepted Answer

Well for one thing, I tell the girl she is the kind of person whose face I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning for the next 40 years (I used to say 80 but now that I'm over 60 that is a bit of a high number). I tell her that I have a strong desire to one day have sex with her but I will not be doing so until we've been dating for a while and even then not until she tells me she's ready, meanwhile lets have fun.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

I’ve asked them to take a friend with them for restaurant meal, and I’ve brought a girl mate with me.

I also let the girl do a lot of the sorting dates, or her friends can, let her go at her pace.

set boundaries and limits up early.

then just get to know each other.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

I have a really hard time with this because I don't have a lot of free time to spend so I tend to go straight to wanting to do something interesting, challenging, and intimate right off the bat.

Here's an example of my most recent fail:

I was on a hike, coming back down the mountain and I passed this really cute girl. We just smiled and said good morning to each other and that was it. No flirting really.

I got back to the bottom where parking is, and I saw this really cute Mustang, white with a pink stripe and all girl-y. I thought it has to belong to that cute girl, so I left her a note on her car and my number and for her to text me. She did about 3 hours later, but our texting convo was not that interesting. I tried to be flirty but she didn't pick up on it or respond in kind. I invited her to do two things with me but she didn't respond (one I texted, the other one I called and left a message on her vm).

So I don't know what I did wrong if anything or maybe she's just really shy or a weirdo or got scared, I have no idea really, she just said at one point "sorry, I'm really bad at texting" and also "just bad on the phone in general" which I didn't know if that meant she doesn't LIKE texting or what but I don't really know how else to communicate with her unless we met in person which how do you do that without lining it up over the phone?

Oh yeah, so the two things I invited her to were #1 a Bootcamp class with my brother teaching (which to be fair was a 2 hour drive from where we live), and the # 2 thing I invited her to come paddle board with me last night under the full moon (which was incredibly amazing , but she didn't respond or show).

I realize the things I invite girls to do could be seen as a bit intense and dangerous (alone at night with a guy you don't know on paddle boards in the ocean) but also I'm looking for an adventurous girl not one that is going to stay at home on the couch and get high every night.

What I do try to do to make women feel safe is I'm not pushy. If you aren't interested in doing what I offer, I'm not going to beg you or even ask again. I'm done trying to hang out with this girl. I tried twice and she didn't respond for whatever reason and yeah she was cute but if she can't be brave enough to text back or come out with me then I'm just wasting my time.

invalid1 · Answer

Sometimes we are genuine but we get mistaken for being players. And that's understood... We all have times when we don't feel responsible, with stars in our eyes we just wanna explore.. Girls also do that.
But the end we fall back to what's known as the rule of the cousin... We end up with the cousin, because it is a member of the family we won't disappoint her father. And our behaviour is observed by the whole family. For when it comes to dating, I will give some hints, for instance he isn't obsessing about your attractiveness.. "You look cute in this, wow you're nice in that". You will find him assessing you as a future mother. You find yourself part of his serious schedule, outside fun time. Because as a female you're no longer an object of fun.. At that point we as adult males have reached the point where we feel bad for - execuse me - sluts, and we don't feel crazy about them.. That's the dad thing kicking in lol.
I find this also in my friends, those of the dad mentality if they aren't religious you'll see they've had enough of their fun time. And they become more loyal and responsible than those who didn't..

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

The woman's best place where she feels safe in my opinion is in her husband's arms when she's hugged and a woman feels safe, happy and protected when her husband makes her a housewife, at this point the wife doesn't worry about earning money or to bring food on the table, also she's living in her king's house where she feels warm and protected and this house will be her house too, all she have to do is to give her heart to her husband, take good care of him and her kids, cook delicious meals and the house like heaven for her family 😊

Now about the signs, well when a man agrees with a woman that sex comes after marriage, this will be a huge part that his love intention is serious about her cause sex is eliminated before marriage which means that if he's seeking her for sex, he ain't going to get it!

Other signs are his care and compassion towards you, also if he keeps his promises and how much time he's willing to spend with you and of he truly enjoys his time with you, also the way he checks on you and calls you cause he misses you... etc

There are things that cannot be explained and can only be felt and you will know about it when your in a relationship...

BigBadWithNames · Answer

Rather than looking for signs, it might be more useful to, as an example, be someone others wouldn't mess with, instead of looking for signs that someone is messing with you. Honey attracts bees and shit attracts flies. Think about your values and what you present as value in a relationship and then ask what type of guy that will attract.

If you think a bulk of your value is in your looks, you won't end up filtering out the duds. If you value your sense of chasity, as an example, and look for that in a person, you may find someone who is more virtuous, and thus, will be more likely to be genuine with you.

Whether you feel safe or not, you are always vulnerable.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

From day one when we meet I always look her in the eye when I talk. I don’t lie. I make her comfortable around me I give her no reason to question my mental state.
In public I walk between her and possible danger. When out to dinner, I face the people. When I speak with other men, especially without saying it flat out, I assert myself and that this is my lady and I will fiercely respond to anyone that shows her harm. It’s also good if your boyfriend has mma training, martial arts. Believe it or not, but 90% of people can’t fight.
You also want someone who’s at least in shape physically and mentally. Someone that has stamina. You also want someone who has perseverance.

GingerGuy · Answer

There's always a risk until you really get to know him good. Lots of communication! If something doesn't seem right, don't ignore it (something we tend to do when we like someone). And genuine interest is really common sense, but we tend to not think that way sometimes. Basically the same as with women (all human beings)... do they not only want to get to know you as a person, but do they also take an interest in your life and want to spend time with you? If feelings develop, they are naturally going to want to spend more and more time with you also. Again, this is common sense, but we tend to tell ourselves things and make excuses for their behavior sometimes, because we see what we want to see. Try to see things for the way they really are. That's my advice.

Lliam · Answer

A woman needs to know that she can trust her man completely. She has to know that he will have her back no matter what. Of course, it's a two way street.
Men and larger and stronger than women. So a woman likes to feel safe and secure when she is with her man. She wants to feel like he will protect her.

exitseven · Answer

I never would pressure girls into having sex. I used to make it clear that I was in this not just for sex but more for companionship. I try to make all arrangements for dates and pay for the whole thing and if my girlfriend needed help I would be there no matter what.

RealMarek · Answer

I arranged first dates at a public location during daylight hours, like a coffee shop or place to have lunch. I tried to make sure the lady would have an obvious way out, if that makes sense. From there, taking things slowly and not acting like a creep seemed to help.

DaveToo · Answer

I think the best way to ensure you're not just a fuck buddy, is to inform him right up front that you're saving yourself until you are married. That usually scares off the ones that are just trying to get into your panties. You don't HAVE to hold off until marriage, but letting new suitors is a clear-cut way of eliminating the chaff from the wheat.

AlexanderAnttila · Answer

I'm not sure I do anything specific. But a couple of girlfriends I've had has mentioned they feel safe with me. I suppose it comes down to me just being a good man with them, showing them I'm not an ass in any way so that they can actually trust me, and that being whether we're together or not. I also showcase that I am strong enough to protect them and to lead an eventual family of ours so that they know that I am capable of being a proper man.

RHK36 · Answer

I mean there's no true way to tell. The whole point of being in a relationship is making yourself vulnerable. Some people are rather good at deception and it won't show until years later into a relationship.

All you do is put your detective cap on and go with you gut instinct when you meet a new person. With time and if you're paying attention you should be able to tell how someone is unless you're willfully ignorant of the red flags.

Still-alive · Answer

Well i usually make myself vulnerable to her first so she gets the idea that im ok with sharing it. and i'd also make her feel no pressure at all in sharing things with me. if she chooses to do so thats good if not thats also fine too. and maybe in time the trust will finally be there and she's ready to share with me. there's a lot of patience and respecting each others boundaries involved.

jerdanro · Answer

If I am interested in any relationship I take an interest in her life situation, experience, thoughts, and feelings. But, no matter how genuinely interested I am, I still want to have sex with her too.

What makes you feel safe?

Shihab91 · Answer

I try to be kind as much as possible (but also being myself), I let her know that I believe it's the man responsibility to keep his woman safe, I earn her trust slowly, no rush. i do actually support that she should be careful when she starts dating someone, even me.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

By letting her know she's safe with me and women can sense this especially when there in my arms

Unbeatable · Answer

To be honest there're very few signs to look for. But look for continued generalized interest about your life and a kind of benign jealousy to be around you.

Anonymous · Answer

I exist as the high quality man I am. That is all. How threatening, shitty people do it? I don't know.

_Troian_ · Answer

With being pyhsically enough for the woman, by pulling her from the waist and claiming. That makes the woman dominated and protected.

COMMODOREII · Answer

When i talk to her i try to be her rock her stable person she can come to anytime she needs stability.

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