Why do men hate independent , smart women?

[Arabella_Rose]

On this website, there seems there is a lot of bad gossip about intelligent, successful , hard working educated women, who managed to work for everything they have, such as a nice house, nice car.

[blank_expression]

I can’t speak for any “men” on this site but rather I see women’s misuse of “strong,” “independent” and “smart” as annoying. A woman that truly has these characteristics is attractive, no doubt. The problem arises when these women boast about it as if it is something unique anymore. If I was to tell you exactly the same things about myself and in your face bragging about assets, career, build, (your favorite I am sure) dick size, and “I am strong and independent” would that really be a turn on to you? I doubt it. All of those things need to be discovered by the other and not shoved or flaunted, as that is a true sign of insecurity. These in your face feminists on here are seeking attention in the form of competition because they were conditioned to think that way. What normal sane man would look for a ball buster competitor as an SO? One basic understanding should be universal to anyone with some common sense and that is; never shall you perception of yourself match with another’s. You apparently busted your ass to achieve what you have and you are personally proud of it. Now tell me who gives a f-k because that is the true basic human nature. If you want to live in a “man’s world” (lol at that usage) then you shall accept the same underachievement awards as the rest of us. That she-it doesn’t fly for male or female. Why should a woman now all of a sudden get special recognition for once male-like achievements? You simply misjudged the applauds for your success when you started. “Why do men hate independent, smart women?” they don’t hate the attributes at all but rather the woman’s misjudgment as to their value to them.

[Not_Average]

Typically what I see is that women who claim their smart and independent come across as rather masculine. Not because they are smart and independent, but rather because they cultivated a particular persona or rather ego around it. As if they have to prove something, and being rude and inconsiderate is the precursor to aspire that persona of “strength”.

Independence can be seen as a spectrum with varying facets, but the more independent you are, the less desirable you are in a relationship. Most men as designed by biology want to lead and direct a woman. He wants to provide. He wants to be that rock that she can lean on. If you’re totally fine with your man leaving and will be just fine with or without, we’ll that doesn’t feel very loving. If you prioritize a career over your husband, that’s unloving. If you prioritize a masters or overtime at work over your kids, that’s extremely unattractive to us men.

My fiancée prioritizes me over her career. She had a masters, but rather stay at home with the kids when we have one. She’s intelligent, but submissive towards me. She like nice things, but isn’t driven by materialism. she's a leader at work and in her community, but wants to be led by me.

There’s such thing as co dependency which would be unhealthy as well. That’s in the opposite side of the spectrum.

I think your mindset being driven by materialism, status, and obsession over independent would lead to an unhealthy marriage. There’s no such thing as serving yourself within the confines of a healthy marriage. I promise to serve my girl when we get married. I put her best interests above my own as she does the same. I live to serve her and lead her. She lives to serve me and nurture our children and the relationship. Even when we don’t want to. The modern marriage “me” marriage doesn’t work. Just look at the divorce rate.

[CookiesAndCream2]

They don't hate educated independent women. I am an educated independent woman with, in reality, a good natured personality. I get along with many people, earning the respect of some very successful and/or well respected men themselves.

What men "hate", or at least dislike, are women like my former colleague. She had three degrees. Was a former principle. In all sorts of events & fundraisers... And was a nasty vindictive small-minded woman behind all the glam. On par with what many people call "trailer trash" by her low-class spiteful behavior.

[Anonymous]

Easy they're loser who work for minimum wage and are short so obviously they hate successful women (and successful men), they're bitter those women would never want to go out with them so they "reject" them before those women do.

[MalesGOD1]

Its not how smart and successful they are its how they won't shut up about it and the constant reminding men of it. If they are beautiful enough men don't care if they are kazillion airs CEO's or dirt poor. Money and success has NOTHNING to do with why these women are complaining they can't find a man.
EXACTLY why they can't get a man is because they will only settle on men who also make a lot of money and have reached the same education level they have/or more. There is a serious supply and demand problem for these men like less than 2 for every 10 and these few men have the pick of the litter. These men are not going to go out with women just a few years younger or older they are going to go out with women less than half their age. These independent smart women will only settle for men close to to their age or younger, RARELY will they settle for a man twice their age. These women have painted themselves into a corner and can't admit their success, independents and "smart"ness levels have nothing to do why they can't get a man. They believe the lies and now its costing them.

[Arabella_Rose]

no young woman wants a man that is almost twice her age. we are looking for husbands, not fathers or grandpas.

[MalesGOD1]

Accept the facts or live in denial and suffer later.

[Arabella_Rose]

i am a young woman. i know the facts. most girls around my age are just dating guys 5 years older, not 15 years older. A woman with enough money does not need a man. She can raise her own children because she has enough money. Single women can have kids, single men can't.

[MalesGOD1]

If only there was a way to have a conversation about this when your 30. I would love the feeling of your admitting and or showing by the way your life turned out proved everything I said.

[Arabella_Rose]

For the First Time Ever, Thirty-Something Women Are Having More Babies Than Their Twenty-Something Counterparts

slate.com/.../...than-women-in-their-twenties.html

[Arabella_Rose]

Most common age differences 0-5 years.

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[Arabella_Rose]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[Arabella_Rose]

31
The 2020 Average Age of Marriage

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[Arabella_Rose]

There is a lot of proof that you are wrong.

[MalesGOD1]

You do realize the internet is controlled by the left and women in general. They tell you everything you want to hear. You can google till the cows come home and you'll never be exposed to the truth. If you don't smarten up now your going to be fifty when you realize feminism lied to you your whole life and by then nobody will care, that feminism used you till you had nothing more to offer. You'll be OPP and alone with your cats.

[Anonymous]

No man hates "independent, smart women." They hate women who are neither independent nor smart, yet go around telling everyone they are (usually feminists; who can never possibly be independent or smart).

They also tend to be overly masculine and want to "wear the pants in the household" yet also want the man to be more successful then they are, which is stupidity. If a man is successful and masculine, why the hell would he want a partner that is basically another man? Most men tend to like their women feminine; at least straight men. And no, being successful doesn't make a woman less feminine; being a "Strong Independent Woman" (who's anything but) is what makes a woman unfeminine and unattractive. They're pseudo-alpha-males who think being like asshole millionaires is what gives them value in the world, rather than being actual women.

The more you have to try to convince people you're something, the more you're just trying to lie to yourself and hope if everyone else believes it, you'll believe it too. Because the idea that men hate "intelligent, successful, hard-working, educated women" is a strawman. They DO however, hate fake women who call themselves these things while victimizing themselves as feminists.

[Arabella_Rose]

Only insecure men are threatened by smart women who can thrive in the real world. You are not confident in your abilities if dating a smart woman makes you feel like less.

[Opinion Owner]

None of that is what I said at all, and you damn well know it.

[ChrisMaster69]

Agreed there is from some areas still a 6th century attitude that a woman’s place is in the Kitchen.

i am all for it, my ex is now on one of the Boards of a multi National.

everyone no matter who they are should be able and free to achieve their dreams and goals.

[Arabella_Rose]

thats a very smart lady

[ChrisMaster69]

@arabella_rose smart, tough, driven, and lucky.

Luck always has a lot to play in life.

[Arabella_Rose]

Often times, we can tell if someone is equipped with the right intellect and talent to succeed , early in childhood.

[Fireguy17]

nothing wrong at all with you having a brain, and accomplishing things in life.
I prefer that in a partner.
I personally don't have the time to hold someones hand all day, be there because her day is ruined because you chipped a nail.
but when you need me I will be there for you, that is what a partner is for, to share in the good times and to stand beside you when you need help.
Be proud of what you have accomplished, and you will find someone that will also be proud of it too.
You deserve it.

[DWornock]

Most opinions on this website are worthless because people say what they think they are supposed to say and often what they say and even believe are contrary to the facts. You can not show any valid scientific studies indicating that men don't like independent smart women. However, there is a huge amount of evidence that men are attracted to pretty women.

Also, smart women are prettier. See: www.psychologytoday.com/.../beautiful-people-really-are-more-intelligent

Therefore, men don't dislike smart women. Nevertheless, other studies show that intelligent women are more likely to be single. In evolutionary terms, that is an undesirable factor.

[Hanrej]

Well, unlike women men don't have any laws protecting their interests. If the relationship goes sour men walk away from a richer girl with nothing so being success ful as a woman brings nothing to a man. On the contrary, being with a successful woman often means the man will have to do all the chores and work that women spent the last century escaping but without any of the benefits that women enjoyed, like being bought stuff, spoiled, taken care of and oh... Did I mention that once the woman is tired of her man she can leave him on the Street and no one raises an eyebrow?

Nah, men don't hate successful women, they just can't rely on them for anything.

[serious]

Well, in my view it is not the independence or the smartness of a woman that men dislike. Men will only dislike women if along with being independent, smart if they are arrogant, controlling and can do whatever they want in order to satisfy their ego, pride.

These attitude is what men dislike about smart and independent women.

[Lionman95]

Because smart independent women have a reputation of being controlling and bossy and that what we guys hate. We like to have some kind of independence and many of us like to lead.
I don´t like it when a girl tries to control everything because it often times makes me feel like she´s bemothering me.
Besides that I don´t have anything against smart girls because I like to talk about different topics and I appreciate it when she has her own money and job she´s passionate about.

[DJB72]

It's a strange place, this site. I like to be able to have an intelligent conversation with my SO, which means either she needs comparable education or significant life experience and in either case a broad understanding of the world.

Most women who meet those criteria are smart, independent people.

Younger guys tend to avoid them because they aren't secure in their identity as men, so a strong, intelligent, independent woman scares the crap out of them.

[rcljr]

Independent women don’t want/need a man around for anything other than scratching her itch and she probably does that with a different guy every night, there’s no loyalty, connection, passion, desire, ache, want, lust, just show up IF she picks you out of her stable of men, be there on time and make her cum. Fuck THAT, I adopted a dog.

[JBlade]

Personally, I don’t. However, I find it very off putting if someone has to list off all that stuff like they’re some type of super man/woman. That’s just normal stuff. Seems a bit insecure.

[Anonymous]

You said it yourself ''Only insecure men are threatened by smart women who can thrive in the real world. You are not confident in your abilities if dating a smart woman makes you feel like less. ''

Therefore any women falling under this category should be extremely happy in the knowledge that such types of men are avoiding them! It would be more of a problem if these men were more difficult to spot.

[Dchrls78104]

The answer depends on the type of man and the type of woman. Is she humble, or is she high on herself? Is she respectful of others, or is she insufferable, obtrusive, or insolent? Is he a modest man or is he an egotist? Is he happy that she is what she is, or does he feel threatened by her?

[TheFlak38]

The usual myth of "strong independent women" and how men hate them. While reality men don't give a shit and you dont actually work for anything. You're either a whore or you get everything through the hard work of men.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/4msPhLp3jWE

[Anonymous]

What are some of the comments? Assuming it's not just immaturity (something there's a lot of here, I think some just like to stir the pot on here just for fun or something), it could be an attitude (or some could perceive it that way) of these women. That's the problem with online/text, sometimes people make assumptions, or take things in a different way than the other person intended it to come across.

[Opinion Owner]

But some women like this also have an attitude that comes with it that can be off putting, such as arrogance, superiority etc, or some may take it that way.

[TommyMountainFigure]

That's not true. Boys might think that way. Men do not!

[abc3643]

Because they're idiots. I love smart, independent women and I married one.

[Anonymous]

There is no such thing as a "strong independent woman" ... just like there is no such thing as a mentally challenged athlete or a chihuahua guard dog.

Society can remove all obstacles from their path to make them feel that way but they aren't actually what they think they are when compared to the things they are trying to be.

[MrCommodore]

Why do you think men in general feel this way? Not true in my experience, some might feel inferior to such a woman, but not most guys.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Don’t know why because I find them attractive and highly desirable. I love a woman who can take care of themselves.