Is she really unsure about me? Or is she hiding her true feelings? (A little long but help pls)?

[Anonymous]

This girl I've never met in person, who I confessed to around two months ago. She said she liked me too, but since we've never met in person (covid restrictions) she can't be sure about me, which I can respect. A little background, she had a horrible ex who cheated on her 7 times and was toxic af. Anyway, before I confessed, I'd had some pretty flirty convos with her and she enjoyed it, and occasionally flirted back. After my confession, it's been pretty good too, although she asked me to not have expectations rn. Around a month ago though, we had some really long phonecalls where (almost 3 hrs for 4 days straight) where we just talked a lot. Around the same time, she said she wanted to give dating me a shot right now, and she'd been thinking about me a lot lately. I said if you are sure about me, she said no, so I said let's do it if you aren't sure, or you may regret it. She said okay, that's mature. We were good. During one such long call I asked if I should go, she said "No, just don't leave me, stay." She was really sleepy at this point, but didn't want me to go. And out of nowhere she said that "Did you just say I love you?". I said no. When we finally got off the call, she called the next day and said that all I've told you the past week was me getting a little emotional, so just to clarify, we aren't a thing. I said yes ik. And we still talk pretty well, but for around 10 days she's been rather cold, and not talking to me much ( no calls, minimal texting) even though ik she isn't busy. I've had had few doctor appointments, and she knows but she hasn't even asked if I'm doing OK. So her 'feelings' seem to come and go in phases. I just don't know if she really likes me, or is fooling around. My friends think we're unofficially dating but we're a little on and off. I just want to know what she wants and how it'll go for me. Pls help

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: Never ever confess anything to women! That kills tension, attraction, and places pressure on them that continues to kill all of those things even more. Long phone calls? stop that! leave the long phone calls for her girlfriend. Long phone calls will kill mystery and kill sexual tension.

''for around 10 days she's been rather cold, and not talking to me much''

No surprise. She needs to be the one desiring you, wanting to be with you and pushing for something more serious (it's feminine). Not you. You are supposed to be the masculine presence.

[MzAsh]

Long phone calls are generally outdated so that can slide, but a woman looking for a relationship must know she isn’t wasting her time, so it can never get to the point where she’s chasing. She’s going to looking for genuine interest, patience, transparency, loyalty, consistency, intimacy, and progressive growth of the connection. Mystery is good in the beginning. But eventually she wants to get to a point where she knows she can really get to know him.

[Iron_Man]

She’s one of those. A wounded deer out in the words she is very insecure and very paranoid it’s gonna take a long time for her to get back on her feet to open up

[artsygirl457]

like she is keeping you at arms length when she dont need you, then when stuff hits the fan relies on you. sounds like she just wants you to be her shoulder and nothing more, basically using you. find someone who will give you her all, not use you and then half ass any kind of contact. you deserve a lot better then what you are getting in return

[Avicenna]

Sounds like you might have done something she really didn't like but didn't say anything about

[Sketti2021]

Just ask her