I am trying to move on from a confusing girl I still have feelings and unsure how to deal with the situation?

Question

I want to preface this by saying I am strongly in the process of moving on. Went on a date or two since. But removing feelings entirely when they were there is hard. I had feelings and they are still around. Moving on is not easy.

I recently fell for this girl. There is an age gap. I am in my late 20s and she in her really early 20s. She is very immature and this whole thing is proof why. We talked all the time in class and outside of class, we texted long conversations to each other. She gave me permission to blow up her phone over anything because she loved to talk to me. I asked her and got a yes. Found out two days after that she was hiding she was seeing someone. Got weird leading up to the reveal. Told her that the lying was hurtful and I asked her out as I was developing feelings.

Things got awkward and I got the cold shoulder for two weeks. No surprise tthere. After 2 weeks, we started small talk again. Wasn't comfortable but it was there. Found she made a few changes to her schedule to work every weekend shift right after the whole incident. Said she was bored all the time. Also mentioned she gave up partying (for the most part) out of no where. We talked before about how we hate partying and that she hates her friends because all they do is party (alcohol is a problem in her family).

After Thanksgiving, I asked her how her Thanksgiving was. Her response was that she was all alone. I was taken aback by this as I figured she'd be with her family or the guy she was seeing. I was bothered by this. I also overheard her telling someone else different answer that her Thanksgiving was fine.

As of late, we have returned to nearly what we had. Its still awkward to a degree but better. Also, I believe she is also telling her friends about me. Just sometimes you know when you're getting talked about. It's obvious. Her friends are nice to me though. Would even say that if I brought something, they'd tell her its from me.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

It's often difficult navigating right from wrong in relationships. As they say, "All's fair in love and war!" However, I will say that from my view point, I believe that you might have fallen too hard for a young girl that seems to ignite your life. I'm only speaking from experience.

I also dated a girl (mind you it was only 2 weeks), that was 10 years younger. It was the largest age gap I've dealt with, but I don't think I'd do it again. I could not get a good read on her personality as I do with most people, but she was fun, mysterious, and gave me the most excitement I've had. She was also extremely nice to me. However after those 2 weeks, she suddenly cut off. Months later, she reached out to the girlfriend I had at the time. I have no idea how she got her number and contact info, but she started saying extremely graphic stuff to my girl (ex now) about how I was with her. And she used an app of something she found of the web to pretend I was texting her while I was with my girlfriend saying I wanted her. My girlfriend at the time booked it and noticed that it didn't sound like the way I texted (thank god she had a calm and rationalal head on her shoulders). But that girl kept trying to break us up for weeks, non-stop texting my girlfriend. She kept putting the images in her head and saying she's not my type. And during that period we also learned that she was with a ton of guys while I was seeing her in those 2 weeks. I felt defiled and disgusted and hoped to God I didn't get an STD from her.

Now I know that the girl you're seeing is probably not as demonic as that girl I mentioned myself. But I just implore you to be wary of her character. She was seeing a guy while she was with you. That's a red flag alone. The family and friends of the girl I was seeing were also extremely nice to me, but apparently they all knew what she was up to. I'm not religious and don't believe in demons, but that girl was a demon if I ever saw one.

Nothing is written in black and white man. Make your best judgment and try not to regret it!

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

The biggest problem I see is that you apparently had one or two dates with this girl and you allowed yourself to develop a ton of feelings WAY too soon! You need to learn to slow down and don't give your heart away so quickly.

The next problem is that you know this girl lied to you, you have forgiven her, and you are still allowing her to be involved in your life. At this point you KNOW she is a liar. That hasn't changed. What she has learned is that she can lie to you and you will have some tolerance for her lack of integrity.

I am guessing that you don't have huge amount of experience with dating. These are mistakes that you will correct with experience, just as most of us learned these lessons the hard way. Instead of thinking about her, put your focus on learning lessons from this experience and making yourself a better person. The rest of what you need will fall into place.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

It sounds like she still likes you but doesn’t want to leave the other guy. I wouldn’t get involved with this if I were you.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

If you're trying to move on the best way is to cut all forms of contact. Delete, block her and move on.

coachTanthony · Answer

I think your ego is staying in it because it likes the attention. Know the difference and it will set you free.

sawno · Answer

"g someone. Got weird leading up to the reveal. Told her that the lying was hurtful and I asked her out " Thats all you need, she is a dishonest person and feelings are feelings. Whwn your not feeling them so intense look at a pic of her without thinking anything. Did the feelings increase? Still attached, remind yourself of what she did to you and do something else. Didn't feel anything? Feelings aren't tied to her, you just need love.

magiusX26 · Answer

1st mistake is rhinking you can "stop having feelings for her". once you develop feelings for another person, you will always have some degree of feelings for them. at best, those feelings can be changed, for better or worse. such as an old school rival/bully later in life becoming a friend or a close family member turning out to be a piece of shit (think of how the families of such infamous asshats such as hitler or epstein felt after they were exposed as to what they truly are) .

EmyyWolf · Answer

Late 20’s PEDOS shouldn’t be dating early 20’s chicks. You should be in prison right now. Picking up a bar of soap 🧼 from the  f—ing Floor if you understand 🖕

lightbulb27 · Answer

Join French foreign legion solves lot of problems… Sounds like a lot of drama.  Just tell her you wish the best and move on

syncheart · Answer

If she is lying to you about anything. Then I don't think you should be with her. Relationships are built on trust. You can't trust a liar.

RealMarek · Answer

Moving on is not going to be easy if you’re still talking to her. She’s seeing another guy. Put distance between you and her.

msc545 · Answer

The best cure for a woman is another woman. If you date childish people, you will get childish behavior in return. You're recent semi-girlfriend sounds very childish and immature and not an adult.

DreamLife7 · Answer

How do you have feelings for someone who doesn't like you? When someone likes you you're not confused. She doesn't like you, build a bridge and get over it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Feelings can be big fat liars and need to be tempered by logic and reality.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yeah, that girl is a trainwreck. I'd say leave her and look for someone better.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

She is bad news. This chick is and will continue to be a cheater.

Akam93 · Answer

Dont waste your time.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Long story

I am trying to move on from a confusing girl I still have feelings and unsure how to deal with the situation?

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