I 27 dating a 17 year old, is this wrong?

[Anonymous]

It’s legal in the uk as age of consent is 16, but the sex was kinda shit as she didn’t know what to do and I have to teach her everything, slowly having regrets.

She’s also a bit clingy so not sure.

What do you think?

[tatianamay]

Teenagers ARE clingy. How on earth did you think it was going to work out? 17 year olds are not mature enough for a relationship with an adult.

I get it, you do not want to sound like an asshole for breaking up with her right after having sex, but better late than never! If you continue this, you would lead her on. She would become more emotionally attached to you and it would be harder for her to move on. But its fine, break up with her now

[Asker]

Best response… thank you…your mature for a 17 year old….

[idontknowhowifeel]

Morally, it’s wrong, because you are in two different worlds. She’s still a child in her formative years, and you’re a grown man to whom she clearly doesn’t matter. Better let her down gently and save her from yourself.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I don't actually mind teaching guys, better than guys who think they already know the best way to do things and won't listen to me.

The big downside to virgins or less inexperienced is they are more likely to get attached to me and think I'm their forever partner.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yup. That's wrong dude. It may be legal. But it's wrong. Let her go. She's not even someone you really want. This means more to her than to you (one of the many reasons it's wrong). You're going to hurt her. Sooner is better than waiting.

[Finchie40]

If it’s legal where you are then I don’t really see anything wrong with it , If you both have great chemistry and connection than that’s all that matters , Age really doesn’t mean shit when you have great chemistry and connection. It only means something when their age is of illegal age , cuz if you think about it , when we meet someone attractive that catches are eyes in public and we have the courage to approach the. m to strike up a conversation it’s them , their age is the last thing we are thinking about , We don’t walk up to someone and say How old are you lol , if you do then you should probably work on your game more lol I have met girls from all ages that I thought were beautiful that caught my eye but the attraction became more when we both realized we have great chemistry and connection together , the topic of age comes up later in the conversation and yes it might come as a shock to you both of you find out you 2 have an age gap , but as long as you are both are of legal age that’s all that matters , I am not all of a sudden going to hate the girl because I am older or younger than her , so that’s why age really means shit to me , I have met younger girls that were more mature than girls my age , so again chemistry and connection is where it’s at.

[kyleelyn199723]

Gross. Your que that she is a child is the fact that she didn’t know what to do.

[Asker]

Yeah I’ve never slept with anyone more than a 5 year age gap so it hit me after that although this is legal she’s very childish compared to me.

Im not hurting or abusing her but I need to reject her in a way she doesn’t feel inferior eventually.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker honestly say how you feel. I was 17 once and I learned from my 17 year old mistakes. I had sex with guys that weren’t really about me and it just was what it was. It hurt at the moment but when I look back now I didn’t see myself dating those guys anyways.

[Asker]

Yeah I don’t want to hurt her though. I know 17 year olds are more fragile but she’s more fragile then other girls. I’ll tell her soon. If I break up after having sex once she’s going to think I was just using her and then dumping her

[kyleelyn199723]

I think you should sooner than later though. Maybe she will think you used her, which in my opinion it seems like you kind of did (my assumption) but any guy would age knows a 17 year old is probably not the best age to date when considering a real relationship (marriage, kids, finances) I think you need to own up and just admit you did use her before it gets harder to break up with her

[kyleelyn199723]

Any guy your age **

[Asker]

I am not using her. That wasn’t my intention, I thought it would be work and I was willing to face up to it but I didn’t realise how uphill of a challenge it was.

I didn’t pressure her into anything, and she’s the one that made the move to me…

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker sounds like you don’t have good judgment if you thought a 17 year old can make a mature relationship. Not being mean, just saying. Common sense.

[Asker]

I’m repeating myself…

I didn’t think she would make the best girlfriend, I just didn’t realise how much the gap in maturity was…and the effort I have to put in…

[Asker]

I accept I messed up…Im just saying I didn’t have the bad intentions your saying I had

[kyleelyn199723]

@Asked if you don’t think she would make the best girlfriend why date her in the first place? Why are you going for girls that won’t bring you the best relationship?

[Asker]

I thought I could help her become a better person… I just didn’t realise how broken she was…she’s reallyyy broken, even for a 17 year old. Hence my hesitation to break things now. It will hurt her more so I’ll wait a bit then do it. Not as bad. I won’t drag it out too long as that’s also bad

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker is she that broken? Or is she just a 17 year old? You are dealing with different emotions and maturity than someone your age so it’s difficult for you. Reality is, is you can only deal with what you created, but if I were you I would put a stop to the relationship asap.

[Asker]

Putting myself into my shoes at 17 and my friends, she’s really broken. Really broken. Breaking things off “asap” will hurt her a big deal.

I’m sorry, I messed up but i don’t want to hurt her more than I need to. I already have hurt her she doesn’t know yet, but need to salvage it

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker continuing a relationship with her will create more hurt. More time past equals more time to open up. It will be a cycle where it becomes harder and harder. I’ve been there. I was in a relationship for a year and a half with someone that I wanted to end it with after like 7 months but his parents just kept showering me with gifts that made me feel obligated to stay. You can literally just simply say you aren’t ready for commitment like you thought or something. But again, you created this yourself. You need to face what you created.

[Asker]

I hate life

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker it is what it is. You live, you learn. You will hurt her now or a year from now. The choice of your happiness is on you.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Legally ok but that’s a really big age gap. And 17 yr olds are young. Maybe too young for sex with an older man. But still legal as long as she’s voluntarily into you.

[Celtero]

Didn't you just show your support to an 18 year old girl choosing to date a 50 year old man in some mytake?

Double standards in action...

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Celtero maybe. I don’t remember lol. But context is key. And it’s clear from the context here that she’s not ready for this.

[Asker]

18 and 50 is much much worse than my situation

I’m sorry…

[Gwenhwyfar]

It’s ok. I get that she really likes you. I liked older guys at 17 too. I just think you’re pushing her too fast.

[Celtero]

Guess it was 12 days ago, I just saw it today.

Seems like just another case of "man bad woman good"... because the context is simply from the opposite perspective. For all we know OP's girlfriend is elated with the relationship and has no problem with it just like the 18yo in the mytake.

[Asker]

I regret it in a way tbh

[Gwenhwyfar]

Maybe take a step back from the sexual part of the relationship. See if you guys still like each other without that in the mix.

[Levin]

Why did you get with her in the first place?

If you're complaining about the sex that must have been pretty much your only motivation in the first place?

Tbh, your situation sounds kind of ideal. A submissive sex bot to train up how you see fit. At least from the sex side, you could have a lot of fun with her.

But yeah, she's a person. So you should at least treat her right and be honest from the start.

[BonnieBoo]

My opinion is that yes she maybe over the legal age of consent. BUT she clearly is STILL a child. I was with a 28yr old when I was 17 & I still acted like a kid. I think you’re trying to make her grow up too fast. As mean as I may seem. You’re better off with someone you’re own age. What do you have in common with a 17yr old? This ain’t gonna work I’m afraid.

[Poobutt711]

A 7 yr old is a child. I'm. offended you call a 17yr old a. child. When I was 17 I wasn't some. stupid fucking braindead child. I was smart and fully aware in my head.. 17yr olds are adults who are a year away from officially being one

[kyleelyn199723]

@poobutt711 is it was a coincidence that you sound like a child still?

[lambrini]

You sound like a whiny child too kyleelyn

[kyleelyn199723]

@lambrini where have I sounded like a child? Care to elaborate?

[lambrini]

The part where you act immature and call others childish for giving a reasonable response

[kyleelyn199723]

@lambrini sorry but throwing a tantrum over someone else’s opinion isn’t a reasonable response, so I still don’t see how I’m childish here 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lambrini]

Again acting childish, clearly you need to go back to grade 2 with that attitude.

[kyleelyn199723]

@lambrini calling someone out on being rude and immature about their response isn’t childish, sorry I don’t see your point here at all.

[lambrini]

Yes you do but you can choose to remain ignorant all you want, really doesn't bother me and I don't wanna go on a huge rant to prove my point.

[kyleelyn199723]

@lambrini so I’m ignorant because you can’t even remotely explain where I was childish, yet you are calling me childish? Hey if you don’t want to go on a rant and explain yourself like an adult would than stop replying to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ what I said in return to his response was none of your concern

[kyleelyn199723]

Then stop*

[NetSapien]

I don't know what there's to complain about.. when I would go out with 17 yr olds, I was more than happy to take the reigns.

I'm not gonna go into the legalities or morality of this since it's in another country. But man, be at least grateful someone allowed you their pussy. lol

[Poobutt711]

Depends what the genders are.. if. the woman is 27 and man is 17.. that's fine to society... But if genders are switched around people will call the guy a pedo... That's jus the way it is.. guys are demonized sexually like we're all pervs... While girls are let off the hook

[Layafell]

Not necessarily right or wrong in general but going by what you write I think it's wrong in your case. You seem to have no understanding and patience for her and have already regrets just because she's no porn star at 17 in bed. You're probably the exact opposite of what she hopes for when going for someone older so this will never work out

[CaliSixx]

*me, being 16 and trying to get with my 56 year old guitar teacher*. *Slowly scoots away*

[CaliSixx]

Damn, why does everyone like my weirdness?

[lambrini]

Because you are a girl so it's acceptable but if a guy does the same he's a pedo

[Staximus]

From somebody who's older and may not have long to live -The world is going to shit fast. Fuck what everybody thinks if she's happy and you're happy. There's not a goddamned thing they can do about it. Don't get rid of her if she's a good person, cares about you, and is not crazy. In a couple years the age difference won't matter. She's obviously not a girl who just gives herself away or else she would be more experienced. Don't take her giving herself to you lightly.

[ChrisMaster69]

Well at 27 needing to ask the internet and having no respect for her, I would say dump her and leave her alone.

she’s going to be better off without you

[TwinkleLily5]

It seems nasty from most people prospective including mine, but if it’s legal and she makes you happy don’t let what others think about it stop you. We do not know anything about your relationship.

[DonkeyDan]

Both of you should be with people similar to your own ages, especially for her. She needs to be with someone close to her mental maturity. And why are you going after a child in the first place?

[Mary087]

OK OK then im 23 going for a 18 year old fight me society! Fuck your standards. I prefer younger guys all day

[Poobutt711]

Society is stupid full of unnecessary rules. Fuck society. You do you

[kyleelyn199723]

That is legal and more ideal. 23 is not far off from 18, whereas 17 and 27 are two different generations literally

[zagor]

@kyleelyn199723 No they're not. Ten year olds don't have kids.

[kyleelyn199723]

@zagor yes they are two completely different generations.

[Poobutt711]

@kyleelyn199723 aslob as they're happy together and not being forced I don't see the problem... If they want to be together why must society stick it's nose in and tell em no? Fuck. socoety

[Poobutt711]

I'd date a 80yr old grandma jus to prove a point. And anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my ass

[kyleelyn199723]

@poobutt711 I have an age gap with my man as well, but I’m sorry 17 is just way too young for 27. I’ve matured so much since 17 and I’m only 23. I think there’s just some age gaps that are not doable. 17 year olds do not have the same emotional intelligence a grown adult has.

[kyleelyn199723]

@poobutt711 I’m your age and I date someone that is 32, but realistically our age gap is more realistic than 17 and 27, so your point is kind of invalid 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lambrini]

Lol same I am 22 and would only date 18 year olds never a year older

[wankiam]

well thats the thing with dating younger women... some are very mature but you may have found one that isn't... let her down gently though coz its not her fault

[slatyb]

Ewwww. What did you expect? Nothing wrong with her, but I wonder about you. Which one of you started it? How did you imagine this would work? She’s still in high school. Why aren’t you dating adults?

[Celtero]

I'd be hard pressed to give a crap tbh. Society has really abandoned all traditional values at this point and you're all basically insects or rodents desperately mating with each other in my eyes.

[Surely]

Legally not wrong. Morally maybe a little.
You are probably her first love and inexperienced in dating. That explains her actions or lack of.
You will need to help her to mature into the person that she is meant to be.

[In_Trance]

Whatever works for ya. I think there's something wrong with you, but whatever. Don't reference age of consent. That's fkn dumb. Laws are arbitrary dictates used to control a society, not measures of ethics

[thesperm]

first its not wrong.. next for gods sake its a 17 year old.. they are immature.. but if you wanna continue and have the will good for you.. if you dont still dosent matter just knock it off. there is no morality issue in it

[Anonymous]

I will pull the pedo card. don’t care if it’s legal in the UK or wherever the fuck… you are dating and had sex with someone who is not emotionally, mentally, sexually, and romantically mature… “the sex was shit, i have to teach her everything” What the actual fuck did you expect from a 17 year old? fucking creep.

[Asker]

Bit extreme

[Opinion Owner]

No no, that’s exactly what you are.

[Anonymous]

I think adults shouldn't be allowed to date teenagers. I know its legal in many Europe countries but i find it weird...

[Anonymous]

It really depends, but nowadays 17 is still a child in first world countries and the maturity gap is not good for either party.

[Subarugirl]

is it okay for an adult to have sex with a child...… the answer will always be no

[lambrini]

Yes it is ok we both have agreed on in.

[Subarugirl]

@lambrini in the states that would be concidered predatory behavior and statutory rape.

[Lyndsielee666]

She’s a child bro and you’re a grown ass man..

[BarryLiverstone]

You knew she would be clingy going into it. Why did you decide to date her?

[Asker]

Didn’t know it would be this bad.

[BarryLiverstone]

Then just let her know you need different things and let her go. Whatever happens she’ll be crushed but better to rip the band aid then drag it out

[Asker]

I don’t want to hurt her. I’m not as horrible as the title suggests

[BarryLiverstone]

I get it bro. Whatever you do she’s not going to like you after you break up so might as well just break up soon. She’ll get over it

[suzzieQ]

Yeah, a 27 year old has a fully developed brain and is an adult, a 17 year old doesn't.

[suzzieQ]

So yeah... an adult having sex with a literal child is wrong in any context

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Well if it's the consent there then there's nothing anyone can do. It just means they just find it "not wrong"

[AmandaYVR]

She's too young for you.

[Jamie05rhs]

First you said "dating." Then you said sex.
But I think both are wrong, quite frankly.

[LegendaryIcon]

just means you can't seem to get girls your own age

[dustybiker]

Exactly.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Dear f*cking God man. Why the hell wouldn’t you date a grown ass woman?

[Anonymous]

I don't have a problem with the age gap. I know people with 20 years difference who have successful relationships. But I am concerned about your timing.

[Albino010]

Get ready to beaten by her parents.

[jjj101010]

It sure it’s the age gap, it’s the person that’s not right

[laura123iu]

dude u messed her up already.

[exitseven]

I say she is too young for you.

[Anonymous]

Are you a bad teacher?

[Asker]

Very good actually…

But you have to teach everything…

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds ideal to me if you have a little bit of patience.

[RichSD]

Not if it's legal in your location.

[_no_one_]

Ahh yes British at it again

[noohair]

I think you picked someone you could control.

[Dchrls78104]

And illegal, in my country.

[ERB62]

L
Keep coaching her

[Iron_Man]

She needs to be 18

[Asker]

This isn’t the USA, in the uk it’s legal…

[whosnumber1]

dude... too young.

[Anonymous]

Yes.