My new girlfriend has two kids. Am I obligated to pay for their stuff like food and movies when we go out? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
88Opinion
I would love to see the guys who are commenting that a guy who dates a woman with kids is a simp or loser and that single mothers are low hanging fruit. Just shows what kind of person the guy is to be describing women as fruit!
I bet the guys who are commenting this stuff are what most people would describe as losers. A good person wouldn’t describe people in this way and would be willing to give anyone they like a chance even if she had children. Please men who are commenting those things show me how “well” you are doing in life (in your terms, since that’s how you judge other people).
I agree not just a looser but a poor excuse of a man
This is why the single mother thing is bad all round.
Most guys by nature don’t want to pay for other another man’s kids. This is not good for anybody involved. It’s not good for the kids because they don’t want to feel pushed out by the new man. It’s not good for her if she cares about her kids because she doesn’t want a man who’d do that to her kids. And it’s not good for him because even if he does it because he feels like that’s what he’s supposed to do it will eventually breed resentment.
Single mothers generally get guys who have few dating options, losers. No guy given the choice would choose a single mother over a childless woman. This is a loser question.
it’s her kids. She should pay for her kids but if she would like to marry you it’s up to you if you would like to pay for them or you wanna be their father. But if she doesn’t wanna marry you don’t waste time for her and her kids. If she really loves you she doesn’t wanna use your money she should be loyalty for herself and her kids.
Sorry for my bad English I hope your understanding my words.
May I ask are you Latin, Arab or Asian?
@Cowboy6666 what does her race have to do with anything tho? Why do you ask?
I'm going to say no and yes. Kids. Don't emotionally detach very well. I don't recommend bringing them into the picture until things are a little more secure, for lack of a better word. I mean yes it's a package deal, but think of the kids feelings as well. The kids won't understand why they can't see you again when it doesn't work out. If you get to that point, then yes. Or a good thing to do is switch off paying. You one time her the next. I know some girls like this as their is no expectation afterwards.
They might not be your kids but you chose to be in a relationship with her knowing damn well she has kids if you have an issue with it than end the relationship and don’t waste her time
She is telling the truth
This guy sounds cheap
I think you danced around the actual specific question...
No, you're no obligated to do anything as you are not their legal guardian. Some women don't understand that, she should be able to afford herself and her kids without you. Now if you want to that's fine or if you plan on being her next husband it'd be in your best interest but you don't have to.
This^
I would say yes and no because its a fresh relationship and, its weird... Its new and you're meeting her kids already... I mean you're trying to be a dad already? You just met her that just met her that sounds like a rush and red flag. And since her kids are so big why are they on dates with you both?
To me it depends on the invite. If it's what would normally be a you/her date, and she doesn't want to get a sitter, then no. If it's "Let's all go for pizza!" then yeah. No other expectation or obligation should be there. If I were her, I would be asking before we went out, or offering for that matter, to cover the kids.
Five minutes in to the relationship, I don't think you should pay but if you are months in, it is a package deal. If you are just in it for her, you BETTER make that crystal clear to her that it's not serious to avoid any hurt feelings or confusion or any sort of implied obligation to the kids.
If it’s just you and her definitely pay. If it’s all of you guys I’d have a conversation with her at some point. I feel like it’s fair to spit it between both of you. That way you’re still being generous by paying for you/her or the two youngins’s. You’d be scoring points and also helping her out more than what she’d usually paying. That’s a situation where chivalry is out and logistics is in.
It might be a nice gesture every now and then, but you should not feel obligated. Nor should she expect you to. I'm old school and think the guy should pay for the dates, especially early on. But that does not include the kids. She or their father are responsible for that.
Go Dutch Treat and there would be no issue. Some women would take advantage of the guy in that she and her kids would be getting free meals as well as a fun evening. What does the guy get out of it? If you say sex than she is nothing but a prostitute, exchanging services for money (meals).
Wow that lol
Hey it a package deal it wasn't like she forcing the kids on him
beside him fucking her and many BJ s . besides what idiot would
tell her they not his brats come on
Will you have to remember that part of the package deal if you can't handle them can you can handle her. at least that's the way it should be. I'm sure that she would offer pay her own way and for her kids but who are you and what are you all about if you are serious about her you might as well get used to it now
Absolutely not! Her kids are her obligation and anything you give for them should be seen as a one time thing and only it if the goodness of your heart.
At some point if you decide to stay with this women her kids become yours but until then, which is decided by you and her and determined by the state of the relationship, her kids are her responsibility and you don’t NOT feel guilty telling her she needs to get a baby sitter.
If you date a single mother and you invite her kids along. Yes you are. That's why you shouldn't date single women. You don't want to pay and take the effort to raise someone elses kids, they will most likely be ungrateful and pull the your not my father card. Let her raise her kids alone or go back to the father. When they are out of the nest she can try to start over. Let women see the consequences of their actions, like they used too.
Yeah well. Unless those kids are living out in the garden, or grandparents, it's a mother and children package deal, don't you think?
Sure you don't need to spend like their dad, but you are technically their step dad.
Just one reason why most guys don't date single moms.
No. Not if she's just your girlfriend. Is she treating you like a sugar daddy?
If you were married it would be different. Then the kids would be your step children and you would be obligated to treat them as your own.
If you're choosing to take her kids with you and choosing to pay for her, then you should be paying for her kids too. If you're not paying for her kids when you choose to take them with you, you're not really paying for her. Is it an obligation to pay for them, no, but telling her you want to pay for her but not her kids makes you look like a jerk. You'd be better off going Dutch.
The downsides of dating singlemothers.
It's the womans job not to let the kids interfere with your relationship. When a "family" date is planned then a woman should pay for her kids and let you know of that. You can pay if you want to, but it shouldn't be an obligation.
I would not say obligated, but if you like their company, which I hope since you hang out xD, then why not also pay for them now and then.. surely it should not be a burden on your budget, but if you want her you cannot just ignore there are kids included.
How about this? One meal he pays for, next meal she pays for. That way she still makes out and he doesn't have to feed the whole tribe every outing. Enough of that and he might think he is just being used to feed the family and might say forget this and move on. Either that or go dutch treat, you each pay for your own.
@Daniela1982 yes, that is kinda what I meant.. I wrote 'pay for them now and then'.. meaning not every time, maybe every second time.. I'd say it depends on what they are doing, who invites who and their economy.