So this question is inspired by the question above. Many guys think it is not cheating when guys get lap dance at a bachelor party. I am middleeastern and i always was shocked that bachelorette/bachelor parties exist. I just want to ask this question to see the opinions of the same guys that are ok with lap dance at bachelor parties. I just want to see if they are hypocritical or not.
Please vote!!
(Note: I am also sorry if i offend anyone with this question)
Yes, it is cheating
No, it is not cheating
If he knows it, it is ok and it is not cheating
It is not cheating but it is disrespectful
Other
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What is cheating to you? When does cheating start?
Girls, is this considered cheating if a girl accepts a lap dance at her bachelorette party?
I wrote this for the original post I will paste here but add my edit for sex reversal at the bottom
So by the very definition of cheating, A lap dance is not cheating.
• Cheating - "Being Unfaithful"
• Unfaithful - "Engaging in Sexual Relations With Someone Other Than Your Regular Partner"
• Sexual Relations - "Sexual Intercourse"
• Sexual Intercourse - "Sexual Contact Between Individuals Involving Penetration"
My personal definition is giving away either your body or emotions to another whether male, female and even same sex but a close friend, if you don't share the intimate details of your life with your SO but do a friend you are in a sense emotionally cheating by withholding things that build a connection, if you are fucking someone your giving away your body the thing that helps build an intimate relationship. In either scenario the absolute worst part is the lies and deceit involved in hiding either from your SO and the detrimental impact on your overall connection with the person you claim to love. A lap dance is never technically cheating how ever if the rush of confidence becomes an addiction and he starts seeking strip clubs for the dopemine hit or tries to pursue the sex worker it's absolutely cheating. All that said everyone is free to form their own opinions if 2020 taught us anything,
But your in a excellent relationship with completely open communication and you. voice your wildest most embarrassing fantasies with each other right? So you already know each others limits and definitions so of you know a lap dance is on his bucket list and he crossed it off high five that guy (all this also provided he's not an egotistical narcissistic over compensating toxic piece of shit who thinks women owe him a damn thing) cos if he's that you don't need to be with him anyway.
Edit: let's not pretend that the guy in any of these stories sat on his hands the entire lap dance. We know he touched her ass, we know a nipple may have slipped into his mouth. So keeping to the definition of cheating she can absolutely grab ass, suck his nipple, IF this happens to be a fully nude club she could even grab his dick, as long as she's not stroking it especially to completion, and it never touches or penetrates her lips.
In closing if you Google CFNM and watch what happens at male strip clubs I'll say this male sex workers don't mind having a crowd of women chanting him on and wanting to rub his member all over their face and body.
Female sex workers, DO NOT want a crowd of creepy men in basketball shorts wanting to tongue their vagina (how ever these do also exist)
But what do I know I'm just a straight married 40 year young HSP who wears panties to stay in touch with his sensitive side as society tries to murder his sensitivity.
I don't like the word "cheating" because people try to make arguments about what "technically" is or is not cheating. The really important questions are:
Does doing that violate your partner's trust? Is it something that you would do if your partner was present?
Yes, I think it is wrong whether the participant is male or female.
No it’s not cheating (as I mentioned on the other question).
A friend of mine did Male interest for hen nights, and it was all high jinx.
for both the future groom and future bride it’s all about trust.
if you are unable to trust them on a hen or stag night, then just do not get married.
Also, most hen nights have married friends at them, chances are the bride will be going to them later as a married woman for her friends hen night.
for me in a relationship, it starts at that moment a kiss turns to more.
that is the decision point, you and another person can both be in a highly emotional situation, not thinking straight, you kiss, look at each other in shock..
you stop…. Not cheating.
you continue… cheating starts.
obviously it’s a bit more complex and numerous examples, however dances, hen nights, stag nights not cheating.
"Cheating" is probably too loaded of a word. Everyone has their own definition of that and I'd like to answer in a way that doesn't really focus on that actual word.
It would 100% cross my relationship boundary. The boundary of what makes us an intimate couple and what we do or do not do as a committed couple.
That would have been a deal breaker and I'd call the wedding off and break up. Actually, having a stripper at all would break cross the line and would have been grounds for a break up.
ps _ I would 100% expect the same thing for the girls side. I would 100% support her NOT being ok with her man doing this and if he did do it I'd fully support her just calling off the wedding.
I agree with you. I thought that i am crazy for thinking that this is cheating since many people are ok with it (on gag) . I had the culture shock of my life when i find out about bachelorette/bachelor parties (with strippers ). I am still shocked.
Bachelorette/bachelor parties are weird. in my opinion, the word "cheating" doesn't really matter. If your significant other feels betrayed or "cheated on", then that problem is all that matters. You as a couple have to figure out where the boundaries are. Personally I don't think I'd enjoy the thought of my future SO getting lap dances from someone that isn't me. Doesn't matter that it's a bachelorette party, or if I'm getting lap dances too. Though I also don't think I'd particularly want to have a lap dance from anyone that wasn't my current SO either.
I voted no, but from what I hear, even though this happens less often, women can get away with A LOT more than guys do with females. It may not be an orgy like you see in porn lol, but not far from it? Like women can not only touch, but often get away with sexual acts? I don't know if that's true or not in real life, but from what I hear it is.
Well no limits on touching, including his penis. More than that I'm not sure, and I'd think maybe not many women would do anything more? But I don't know of anyone that's been to a real one, this is just what I've heard from some online so maybe untrue? One guy claimed to be a male stripper that I heard some of this from, but? He said women are often worse than guys as far as limits they will go to? lol It would be interesting to get details if any women have actually been to them.
It really depends on what happens during that lap dance. If she reaches out and jerks the striper off it's cheating, if she lets the stripper put his penis in her mouth it's cheating. If she just sits there with her hands on her lap and lets him dance without touching or accepting anything into her then we're good.
I made this questions after seeing many men being ok with bachelor parties with strippers that to lap dances. I am still shocked. Maybe it is because i am not American and it is a different culture
I dont understand how the husband and wife accept the bachelorette/bachelor parties. Did your friends had such parties? Lol you could marry but dont have such parties
I would of already had this discussion way ahead of being engaged plus we would of already visited some strip clubs together and I wouldn’t care if she got a lap dance from some dude even knowing he’s gonna rub his junk all over her because I trust her enough to know she’s gonna bring that energy home to me besides if she does cross the line then it’s better to find out before we’re married
No it's not cheating. But having said that I'm single and every relationship is different. I also think if his partner has a problem with it he should respect her wishes and not partake. It's all about respect!
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