How do I stop being worried that my boyfriend is going to leave me for another girl?

[Anonymous]

He’s told me he doesn’t want anyone else, and he’s planning to propose soon.

Found the ring with his sister, told his parents what he’s planning to do, and me and my dad, but I’m still worried he’s going to fall for and find someone else way prettier and with a hotter body 🥹

I have stretch marks, and am black and he’s fair skinned and French… I don't know I keep thinking he might leave me, I love him though more than anyone else in this world.

Updates

1 y

Just to clear things up, I have stretch marks because of growing… I’ve always had them. And I’m not sad that I’m black, however he’s only liked white girls before and even on social media he never likes black girls so sometimes I feel like I’m not his type. Honestly when it comes to me by myself I totally accept myself, but when it comes into addition with him, I feel like I’m not good enough.

[yucychan]

The problem isn't that he doesn't love you enough but you not loving yourself at all.
You gave such bad excuses for him trying to leave you. What's wrong with giving birth before and being black?
I believe you love him very much but I also feel that you think you do not deserve him at all. It's sad that you can't appreciate the wonderful and amazing person that he fell in love with, which is you. You keep thinking of yourself as one of society's rejects. Why?

Talk it out with your family and him, ask them for help, tell them about your worries. Don't keep everything to yourself. Any hatred, including self-hate, is a slow-acting poison.

[Asker]

Are you saying I don’t deserve him because I’m not good enough?

[yucychan]

@asker
No. Read my reply again. I'm saying you are the one who is thinking like that.
That's why you should stop it. Love and respect yourself.

[Asker]

Yes, so sorry- I have a little bit of dyslexia so I skipped those words the times I read them. Thanks for your reply and your advice. And I don’t think of myself as a reject… I explained it incorrectly I think when it just comes to him I sometimes feel he might want someone different. Because around other people or past relationships I didn’t feel like this.

[xHoneyxBeex]

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been there before and it definitely sucks to feel that way, especially when your partner hasn't given you any reason to feel inadequate. It sounds like you just need to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. That's really the only way to feel better and more secure in your relationship. You can either try to do it on your own or seek help from a therapist with a focus on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to hopefully change your thought patterns and their impact on your behavior and emotions.

[Asker]

Thank you, the strange thing is I never felt like this until we started dating… once we started dating I felt like he might want to be with someone else. Thank you for the advice I’ll definitely look into that!

[Waldoe]

if you cannot control your insecurities... you will push him away, he will decide that you are too much trouble... "He chose you" don't make him regret it.

[Asker]

It’s not that I can’t control them… if I couldn’t I think we would’ve broken up or I would be telling it to him all the time. These things I mentioned are only things that I feel every once in a while like a little fear. I’m so happy he chose me, but there is a little voice in the back on my head saying it won’t work out.

[SnakeBoop]

if you can't help but think that, thats a you problem and its best to end it. because you obviously will start to self sabotage any relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you, I don’t see myself sabotaging it… and the majority of the time I don’t think that… but every now and then I wake up with that thought, like I did today.

[SnakeBoop]

cool so you're also in denial. sounding less and less mentally sane there

[In_Trance]

Be someone he doesn't want to leave

[Simplyme355]

There's nothing wrong with being black

[Asker]

I agree! Sorry I should’ve explained that more, I’m happy with who I am, I just feel like I’m not his type and that he might find a girl more that is.

[Simplyme355]

If you weren't his type, he wouldn't even talk to you to begin with... most men say they have a type but they don't. They all want a pretty feminine woman and that's what you have to give him to keep him.