Do you still get nervous on first dates?

[WonderBell99]

**Hypothetical question**

Yes, very much so

No, not really

Never been on a date

[PrettyPriya]

Omg, yes! I remember my first date with my now fiancé. Just asking him out to lunch was nerve wracking. I think the adrenaline subdued the nervousness asking him.

Then, it was pure excitement when I got home after he had said "yes". That was followed by "oh hell". I actually now have to go meet him. The nerves settled in knowing we would have our first date.

It was a few days to said lunch date, so plenty of time for those nerves to build and build. Thinking back, I can remember going OCD about every little detail. What am I going to wear? Check the weather. Look at menu. Oh, looks like they have daily specials! Check the weather. Confirm he was going to be able to make it. Check the weather. Call for reservations. Check how many hours left. Check the...

Okay, you get it. The day came and that butterflies feeling was with me all morning. I felt like "how will I be able to eat?". Then finally came the moment to leave and go to the restaurant. Wow, I was never so nervous.

He showed up, sat down and said "you look lovely, darling". My anxiety melted immediately. It was like a cool breeze just refreshed and carried all my worries away.

[WonderBell99]

Aww, that was so sweet of him.

You have a gentleman right there. 🤍

[Cynicaldreamer]

Y'all get asked out? I'm jealous!!
I can't remember the last time anyone even called me cute 😶

Of course I get nervous on the first date! Will he like me? Will the date go well? What if I bore him? Or what if he decides I'm not his type?

There are so many what-ifs and negatives behind the first date, I'm usually more stressed than excited.

[WonderBell99]

Lmfao. I’ve gotten asked out only twice in my life, lol and I’ve been rejected twice as well..

I haven’t seen you, and I don’t wanna be cringy and I want to give a genuine compliment - I’ve seen some of your opinions around and you’re interesting.

Have you tried asking out anyone you’re interested in? Usually, some guys wait for girls to make the first move

[Squaresquirrel]

Last time I was on a date was in last August and I asked him :D

[WonderBell99]

@Squaresquirrel That’s amazing! Did it work out with him?

[Squaresquirrel]

No, he turned out to be a practising druid and antivaxxer.

[WonderBell99]

@Squaresquirrel What’s a Druid? Is it a religion of some sort?

[Cynicaldreamer]

@WonderBell99 I've been asked out... geez, twice I believe?

"Have you tried asking out anyone you’re interested in? Usually, some guys wait for girls to make the first move" Several times! I've asked out guys I 'thought' liked or had feelings for me-

... rejected and/or friendzoned EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 🤦‍♀️ The last guy I asked out was clearly interested in me and pursued me first! Yet when I asked him out, he immediately lost interest and said we should "just be close friends..."

[WonderBell99]

@Cynicaldreamer damn. I’m really sorry about that.. and that guy who led you on sounds like an asshole. You dodged a bullet there!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Oh girl trust me, I know! As soon as he made it clear he wasn't interested in me, I moved on. He then blocked and pretended as if I never existed 😂

[WonderBell99]

Yikes. I believe he is what I would call an emotionally unavailable player, lol.. or better yet, a F-boi and they’re the worst out there in the dating scene 🙆🏻‍♀️ Not like I have much experience, but I’ve got my heartbroken by guys like him, lol

[Cynicaldreamer]

Oh I believe it. He sent mixed signals, was hot/cold ALL the time... after I decided to give up on trying to date him, I kicked myself for not seeing the red flags right away.

As sad as it sounds, it's easier and less drama being single.

[WonderBell99]

Good thing you kicked him to the curb.

It’s WAY better to be single than to date a trash like him!

[the_internet]

Yeah, not really anymore. I'd have to be really, really into her, which rarely happens, and if it does, something in the back of my mind tells me it's not going to work out anyways. So in any case, why be nervous?
by the way, I'm not 20 as my profile suggests, that was a typo. I used to get quite nervous, but now I notice the women I'm dating are the ones getting nervous, even though I'm not talking a lot. Neither am I doing anything special. They definitely look at me with very different eyes than when I was actually 20. And that feels good.

[ohshee]

I think I do just because it's a date if we were just having fun going out doing crazy things I wouldn't be nervous at all but when I have to be a different person that's what I it drives me crazy I don't like being that person I like being myself all the above sounds kind of weird but it's true when you date somebody you've got to put on a different mask
Even though it is the real you you're just not opening free because you're trying to be on your best behavior instead of being yourself even that sounds funny but it's true

[OlderAndWiser]

I've had over a hundred first dates and I got over my anxieties many girls ago.

[jennifer_bloom]

I would say I feel shy and uncomfortable but not nervous - I know I’m a valuable person.

[CrazyGirl2]

YES! Dgmw, I love first dates, but the nervousness, mixed with the excitement… it can either be extremely stressful, or incredibly exciting, depending on the guy, and how well the date goes! When I’ve had a boyfriend, I’ll be honest I haven’t missed dating, but when I’m single… well, you have to kiss a LOT of toads before you find a prince (as my mom used to tell me) but she’d just get upset when I’d say, “oh so you think I should be kissing more boys?” Ohhh bless her! But I won’t miss dating whatsoever after I get married, I’ll tell you that!

[PatriceONeal]

I've been on plenty of first dates and first impressions always matter, if she's fine like wine that is. A mix of nervous / anxious is probably what most people feel. Then the few who are completely indifferent and are just there for free sushi or a quick lay.

[WonderBell99]

totally

[Leshen]

Mm kind of, but usually I'm pretty comfortable and confident on dates no matter what. I've talked to so many people in my life that it's pretty easy for me to mesh with most. I only thing I really worry about is being safe with the way I go about the date. In case the person ends up being a serial killer or something.

[genericname85]

no. for me, it's just meeting someone. i mean i don't get nervous, cause i don't expect anything to happen.

[WonderBell99]

that’s nice!

[Sarahslater3738]

I’m worried about them likmm I’mg my stomach or not

[WonderBell99]

it’s normal!

[Sarahslater3738]

Yea sometimes they see me and it’s like oh she’s bigger than I thought

[schittywok]

If you aren't nervous you aren't real. One of the best hitters of all times, Ted Williams said he always got nervous, especially when it truly counted. Most difficult thing to do in all sports, hitting a round ball with a round bat where failing 7 times out of 10 means you are damn good.

[Anonymous]

No. Because I always assume it's not going to work out anyways. I guess that's one advantage to having low expectations. 🤣

[WonderBell99]

Loll

[Fruktig]

It's different from date to date. Sometimes I'll start feeling nervous days before the date. Other times it's like the most natural and comfortable thing in the world.

[wa1t1ngFuture]

she my neighbor so I'm not nervous lol😂, I'm from the city and live here village (mygrandparents' village) since corona. where we go on a date is my house, she comes to my house every day because i has wifi...

[Anonymous]

Depends on how attracted I feel to the person to begin with. If she’s someone who I have pursued for a while and she’s really attractive then it’s going to be tough not to be nervous. But if she’s the semi attractive “cool” type then I’ll be less nervous.

Truth is I noticed that if my date is NOT nervous and acts a bit too confident that’s actually a really bad sign. She’s not worried about turning me off.

[Better_off_here]

of course with any woman i am nervous i think mainly on a date you want to make a good impression and that may not come across as the best at all times.

yes i am nervous because i want to make sure i am gonna get a second date.

[saintsRow3]

Good impression ha 😂 I don’t get nervous on dates because If she don’t accept me as I am then fuck her

[HawkPerception]

I can't actually remember being nervous on a date. The only time I'm nervous is when I'm asking a girl on a date for some reason. I'm always just myself on the date and if they don't like me then, I'm fine with that.

[mandyfire98]

Yep, it's just those little butterflies that I still get. It's not like crippling fear or anything but just like an excited nervous energy.

[Lucy68]

I haven't dated in a while and yes yes I do. I'm just a really nervous person and can be shy sometimes unfortunately when it comes to meeting new people in person experience face to face

[Anonymous]

Never believed in first dates.
Going out with people that I don't know is tricky.

[WonderBell99]

Wait, then how do you get to know them first?

[Opinion Owner]

Social interaction.
When I was younger and already divorced I stopped looking for relationships. Just hookups.
Then my wife found me.
In a bookstore.
I guess that became our first date but... dating in general, to get to know someone.
Kinda seems backwards to me.
Getting to know someone and then if there's mutual interest then you start to hang out.
It's art.
If it was easy there wouldn't be so many problems.
I'm certainly not telling you what to do.
It's just my opinion.
Good luck.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm tired and not making sense maybe.
Social interaction, meeting people through friends or work or hobbies and seeing them repeatedly over time. You can ask around about their reputation. Do a background check (seriously, for girls at least I highly recommend this, $30 well spent), get a feel for them before you ever spend time alone.
So there's a much smaller chance of them surprising you with whack behavior.
Plus, they know that other people know you went out together so there's accountability.
Anything weird will make it back to the boss or other friends or wherever.
I guess I'm looking at this like a dad and this is the advice I give my daughters to keep them as safe as I possibly can

[WonderBell99]

Thank you very much. These are some great tips. I don’t think I’ll ever date for a few more years until I complete college, at least. I’ll follow these tips when I do start dating.

And the way you and your wife met in a bookstore is so cute! It’s like a movie hahah. And no worries at all, you do make sense. My ex and I were friends before we started dating, and it was easier that way. It just happened. I’d prefer if my future relationships happen that way as well

[Opinion Owner]

All the best.

[WonderBell99]

thank you! 😊

[IveGotNoName]

I dont think I ever had a "first date" with my boyfriend. We were friends before and hung out a lot and the crossover to becoming more than friends is kind of blurry to me.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yes, I absolutely do.

Just as I get nervous at job interviews or if I have to meet new people or go to a new place.

[red324]

Nope. I've been on so many dates I don't get nervous anymore unless she's shy and doesn't talk, but that was an issue that doesn't really exist with girls.