How to turn a guy friend to boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I have know my friend for about seven/eight years. We went to the same university together. I have always find him to be very kind and attractive but never thought of him being a potential romantic partner: 1st because he is a friend and 2nd because he is three years younger than me.

Even though we kept in touch, for the past six years or so we barely talked or hang out because we majored in different specializations and later studied in different universities. Haven't spoken for two years, just last April he suddently invited me to his graduation.

Next weekend he invited some friends over to celebrate his graduation, I am invited too and I offered to come earlier to help.

I will ask whether he is seeing anyone, if not, I will just ask him whether he would like it if I were his girlfriend.

What do you guys think? :) Is it too direct? Suggestions or any thoughts on this are appreciated hehe~ thanks!

Updates

1 y

Hi all, I visited my friend this weekend. While he was showing me around in the city I confessed my feelings to him. He said that he does not feel the same way about me. Thinking about it, it is not surprising. We didn't connect for the past three years. In some way he is the same but at the same time it doesn't feel as familiar as before. Moreover, he is still struggling getting out of his previous relationship.

Updates

1 y

It was way more difficult than I had imagined it to be to confess my feelings to my friend. At a few occations I just couldn't tell him while he was wondering what was on my mind. I asked him whether he is surprised getting to know that I like him. He said he didn't expect it but at the same time does not feel too surprised. He recalls back then in university, there were occassions he caught something in my eyes/glance, which makes him wondering whether I was looking for something more ~

[Anonymous]

Girl, don't ever ask for what you actually want.

Give him a hug and a kiss and say this.

"It's so good seeing you. Please don't think I'm a crazy stalker like in that 'Fatal Attraction' movie, but I think about you way more than I should. And I'm probably going to burn in hell, because some of my thoughts are less than pure. Anyway, I think I'm going to go get some of that punch. Talk to you later."

Unless he falls into a coma, you now have a boyfriend.

[dustybiker]

Direct is good. I’m excited for you! Good luck. 😎 (update the question with what happens, please)

[Asker]

Thanks! I will! ☺️

[slatyb]

Just ask for what you want -- a date. Invite him to dinner or whatever. I'd you can, stay after the others have gone. If he doesn't have a girlfriend at the party, then he's single. If he's single, there's a reason why he invited you.

[Reaper1985]

causally ask him is he's seeing anyone or not. then depending on that causally ask him if he'd wanna go out on a date with you or not. if he says no then just play it off like you were joking the whole time.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ask him to hang out with you sometime. (Be specific. Make plans.)

[Asker]

I will :) I am a little nervous, we have known eah other for so long

[Jamie05rhs]

@Blueangels Don't stress! Just take a leap and go for it. :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww. I'm sorry.

[Asker]

☺️

I asked him whether it would make a difference back then, he thought for a sec and answered 'no'.

Yet, somehow I have this feeling that the friend I once knew at the university would not reject me, and that the feeling was mutual back then. This expectation in contrast to his rejection makes me sad, it makes me feel like apart from the rejection, our friendship is not the same as before.

[Asker]

But it's ok. I can deal with it :). I can move on now without having to think 'what if'

[Jamie05rhs]

Aw.
And yeah, it probably is not the same. Relationships do change sometimes. Just remember the friendship that you had.
And yeah; it's good that you at least got your answer. Now you won't have to wonder anymore.

[Uptowngirl88]

He's not interested in you move on. If he wanted you he would've made a move long ago and anytime you have to wonder then "hello"! He don't want you

[Asker]

He did try actually, but i was not interested back then because of the age difference.

[TenkRealist]

What changed things?

[Asker]

I think I have changed. Previously he was 19 and I 22, at that time I could not accept this. Now that I am older I see things differently. In April when I saw him I just thought it would be nice to have a boyfriend like him.

[TenkRealist]

Yeah. in my opinion, it is a good idea to date friends. Go for it :) Give him hints. See if he is up for it. Then ask him out. Maybe try a hypothetical question or get a third person involved.

[Asker]

I can't think of a third person that could get involved. But I will drop hints and ask him to hang out :)

[TenkRealist]

Like you just have to make them ask "Why don't you think of dating her/Would you date her?" To him. But yeah, else go the normal route. It'll take some pushing though. Best Wishes. Hope you get him.

[historectomy]

never hurts to go for it