Women, how would you feel about a partner who wants to be exclusive before any physical intimacy?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure men have run into something like this before, but I'd like to know what women think about a man who feels this way. I'm not able to separate the physical and emotional connection with someone, and now that I want to date more seriously (With the intent of starting a family after 3 or so years of dating a woman) I don't want to create that emotional attachment until I think there's a potential for that future with a woman. I want to be clear, I'm into this woman and have been wanting to kiss her for weeks now but up until we both agree to be exclusive I don't want to cross that bridge. I've talked about this with the woman I'm dating and we appear to be on the same page in terms of long term goal for a relationship, but I'd like to know what other women's reactions to being told this might be.

[hahahmm]

Not sure how they feel matters as much as you think because a huge percentage of women will pretend to be what they think you want while acting very differently than you want. And another huge percentage might act the way you want but they have very high standards/requirements for a man to meet before they're willing to. Your best move is to be high quality and to reject women who have even a hint of not meeting your requirements.

[exitseven]

I was in a relationship like that. I thought she was worth it.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[IveGotNoName]

When we kissed for the first time it was a long time coming and we had both been into each other for months, so it was a given that we were exclusive. I wouldn't want to be kissed by someone who expects that he can just go around kissing other people (or anything beyond that). Being that close to someone is a big deal to me.

[Eroache69]

Pass lol. I need to know ALL of you before committing... I'm sorry, but if you suck in bed it's not gonna be worth my time. Life is WAY too short to be having shitty/boring sex. If we ain't got a sexual connection, then we better off going our separate ways. No hard feelings. Lol.

[jennifer_bloom]

I expect that - would not date a guy who kisses somebody not his girlfriend

[Asker]

It's hard to tell what's what when all my friends are just hooking up. This feels like it's going at a comfortable pace, but it's also strange for me to have not kissed her yet after 4 dates. I guess what it is is that this is different than my past experiences, and I want to make sure it's the good kind of different.

[hellomellow7]

I kissed one guy non being exclusive.. and it turned out badly bc he kissed me thinking we were exclusive and I still hadn’t had enough time to process wether I could see us long term good together.


So have a talk with her. If you feel like your ready to ask her to be your girlfriend and be exclusive and see you both being good in the long term go for it!

[Raphaëlle]

I don't expect people to be exclusive if it's just kissing but for me kissing is a way to show that I want this to be exclusive. I only kiss people I'm serious about.

[dustybiker]

Setting unnatural limits isn’t my thing. I always trusted my gut. You just know when you are both ready for more, or not.

[ChiTown33]

Really? You never considered maybe he was just ALWAYS ready? Lol

[dustybiker]

@ChiTown33 Not every man is like that. I grew up with a large group of male friends. Then ones that liked to take things slowly and enjoy the process always seems to choose the faster woman. Then they’d come to me to ask what was wrong with them. lol Nothing. Pure selection process. They ended up changing their preferences and settled with people like them.

[ChiTown33]

I know that. Doesn't make my question any less valid.

[dustybiker]

@ChiTown33 What makes you think woman aren’t?

[ChiTown33]

My response has nothing to do with you or women. It was a simple question. And I'm starting to regret asking it. It wasn't meant to be personal in any way. Forget I asked if it's just going to anger you or you think I implied something.

[dustybiker]

@ChiTown33 You aren’t angering me. I dislike leading questions and tend to lead back or toss circles on places like GaG. If you want to hear your own answer I’m not the place to find it. If you want to ask a genuine Q that would have ended differently.

[ChiTown33]

It was a legit Q, sorry you didn't take it that way. Have a nice day. 🙂

[TacosRAwesome]

I'm ok with that. I don't mind kissing pre exclusivity but I'd rather anything sexual is done after exclusivity is established.

[Asker]

I think this is a good policy. I'm definely comfortable enough with her now that it's been on my mind to just change my self imposed rule and kiss her.

I deserve a medal for my struggles in self control

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I think that's totally fair and respectable.

[Agape93]

No. I don't do exclusivity anymore.