Should I talk with him about defining the relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been going out with a guy for a month now. We saw each other about 7 times now, and once I spent the whole afternoon at his place. We're both making plans and texting constantly, but we haven't had our first kiss yet. A hug for hello and goodbye is maximum physical contact so far. We're both 21, introverted and pretty inexperienced with relationships.
Do you think we should have kissed by now?
Or at least least have that "What are we?" talk?

[alderoth]

Awe.. This sounds adorable!! To be a fly on the wall lmao! Well, It's kind of hard to say. it sounds like you are both waiting on the other to sort of take the lead, maybe? You should probably analyze the relationship a bit more, and beyond the traditional scope of kissing, hugging, the basic romantic stuff.

Does his body language every say, "Kiss me!!" or when you have left his place has their been any awkward moments where you sort of seem like you are GOING to hug or kiss, but just brush it off? Does he talk about wanting a relationship in a candid way while you both hang out? Does he talk about having a serious relationship like, "I can't wait for someone to sweep me off my feet. I'm ready to try a committed relationship"?

If he does he might be terrified just like you are. Rejection sucks, it hurts like hell, especially when you are already invested in someone, BUT there isn't a single time in my life where I regretted just going for it, and telling someone I liked them. Either they do, or they don't. Either they want to have a relationship, or they don't. It only seems like a big deal because we make it out to be one.

Always remember, starting a relationship is just STARTING. It's the beginning of something that hopefully will last a life time, or at least be fulfilling enough you learn something from it for the next go around. If he's a great guy and you feel like your nerves are just getting the better of you, just go ahead and ask him. Have a nice little sit down and ease into it. You might be surprised.

I totally hope this works out for you, OMG, I wish I could see it happen lol. Young love is always an amazing thing!! Take care!!

[Phoenix98]

Everyone moves at different speeds. You do what your comfortable and ready for.

And if you feel the need to have that conversation then have it and if you don’t then don’t.

And if you want to kiss him or him kiss you then either tell him it’s ok or just go for it yourself.

like you said your both inexperienced you don’t know what to look for or know what’s ok. This is just part of learning.

ask yourself the questions you asked us what is it you want? Do you wanna have that talk, so you want to kiss? What is it that you want?

[LazerBean]

It is wise to always know where you stand with someone.

[Chris_7565]

I guess you just make your own rules and do whatever you feel is right.
My girlfriend at that age wasn't the most "Innocent" type, and she was kissing me the first time we ever hung out together sober.
everything else moved pretty fast too, but she was experienced and wild.
It's sweet if you and your guy are taking it slow, as long as there is some physical attraction and chemistry there. That stuff is important too otherwise it's just a friendship.

[Guy13]

Yes. I do as does everyone else. It’s NOT If but When and it’s NOW…

[spartan55]

Kiss and have sex before the 'what are we talk'