Is it ever okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

[coachTanthony]

[DoctorSex]

I believe women who don't practice the art of charm which is wholly linked to asking a man out, are losing out on a major party of human development.

Far too many women wait for men to approach them, their excuse being, "it's more traditional".

Traditionally, parents/grandparents would matchmake, relationships were for the most part arranged or had huge arrange pressures. Even till this day women will often introduce their friends to their boyfriends friends. These are all mutations of the arranged relationship tradition. Arranged marriages are still the norm for a large section of the human populous. India, a population of 1 billion, still practises arranged marriages. The national divorce rate in India is under 1%.

Let that sink in.

The idea that it's a man's job to approach because of tradition, is a gross distortion of human history.

What I've noticed, and I hope those women who wait on their hands for the right man realise, is that these "come get me" women tend to be the ones who finish last. By that I mean, they tend to be the last ones to reach their happy ever after.

It seems to me that the "come get me" girls, tend to play power game dynamics more than the "I'll approach girls" who exercise power in a conversational dance. By this I mean, the "come get me" girls in my experience, have a personality type that is strictly one dimension. The only cards they're able to play is the game of romance from the interview dynamic... "well you want this job as my boyfriend, so here's your interview, you better grovel, and if you're lucky I'll give you a chance" position. It's always from a perch position looking down.

An African proverb goes something like this, "the bird that flies up on the ant hill, does not realise that it is still on the ground."

This is opposed to the, "I'll approach" girl, who has more of a, "how do I figure out how to get this person to love me", which takes more nuance, more skill, more personality, and the guy genuinely feels more loved.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Smoothing]

Yes, why not? Women have desires just like men do. I don't see what the big deal is if a woman asks a guy out. I have had all the arguments, yardiyadaya. As much as I agree that men should ask women out, I believe that the argument that women shouldn't ask a guy out holds no basis except it only benefits men by allowing th to choose the women they want. A woman will miss out on a guy they like simply because of a male invented rule.

Compatibility works out best when both women and men are aloud to make intended choices.

[Anonymous]

Of course it is ok. Though, unfortunately it is so rare than many men seem to say yes because they are flattered, or maybe feel bad about rejecting, not because they have a real interest in going on a date with the woman who ask. At least that is my experience, like when I stopped asking out on a date for the second/third one, then the man at least did not care enough to start taking some initiative.

[Pinay_ako]

Why the hell not?

[Marianna546]

truee

[OlderAndWiser]

Sure. Do you know any of these assertive girls who "have a thing" for older men?

[BullShark]

I'll give you a better one. Why is it NOT okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date?

If you like the guy, go the extra mile and ask him out. Chances are, he most probably likes you too. Fantasizing about your crush but not following up on it and expecting him to magically pop up on your doorstep is such a cliche.

[NathanDavis]

no is not...

every single time a woman asked me out, I gave her the same answer

" how dare you, you woman... learn your place, it is not for you to just ask me out, you get asked out by me, not the other way around... now go, leave and think of what you've just done very wrong, shaking my head, when will you all learn... "

[Autember]

Of course it's fine. In what world would this be an issue? If you like someone, tell them. Why waste the opportunity.

[Lionman95]

I think it´s perfectly fine it´s just less common because the obstacles are for women higher since they learn from their parents that they should wait for the right guy.

What often gets missed is in the whole discussion that women could iniate a contact without making it an official date. So she could start things of without asking him out that could take away some hinderance for her.

[BadRepresentative]

I wouldn't be able to because I can barely recognize my own emotions nor do I have the confidence to admit them to someone, but I think it's okay for girls in general.

[ethanallen]

If a woman wants to get laid, she can ask a guy out on a date but she shouldn't ask if she wants a relationship. If a woman asks a guy with the intention of starting a relationship, she is shooting herself in the foot. Guys know that a woman who asks is going to be controlling and try to keep him from doing what he wants.

[Anno2]

Tried to turn the tables so made eye contact and smiled at them, expecting them to do all the work. They giggled and smiled way more but didn't ask me out.

Kinda amazing how far they'll go without saying it. Like touching my butt or making deep eye contact for a minute.

[RobT312]

Yeah why not, it’s kinda sexy. I have had girlfriends hint but they never asked me out. I’d always have to do the asking so was never lucky enough to experience it

[BeachMe]

I never have …. But in the right situation it might be ok. I would go for lunch or coffee and make it more casual and not seem so much like a date though

[ROBOH70]

Yeah. Why not?

I have been asked out a lot. One Christmas morning, a beautiful Spanish lady asked me to marry her. I did not think it was a role reversal or inappropriate.

[yourpalval]

I do that shit allllll the time I get rejected a lot because a bunch of guys feel emasculated by it

[loveslongnails]

Maybe that's not the reason they say no. And if simply being asked out by a girl is all it takes to "emasculate" a guy, maybe he's not the man you want in the first place. Hmm?

[Sparkie460]

The guys that reject you are fools. I wouldn't reject you if I was single.

[Charliefretz329]

I enjoy the honesty

[MikeInHawaii]

If a woman rejects me, is it because she feels effeminated? That sounds like one of those female clichés, like saying we’re intimidated by you. Maybe I’m not intimidated, I just don’t like her.

[loveslongnails]

@MikeInHawaii true that!! A girl using the excuse that it emasculates guys and they'll; say "no" is the same as a guy using the excuse not to ask a girl because "what if she says no?" They're just excuses based on fears.

[dolemite89]

there’s a difference between feeling the emasculated and just being off-put by a girl’s personality 😂

[loveslongnails]

By the way, other than yourself, has anybody ever known a guy being asked out by a girl who replied, "Well I was going to ask YOU, but now that you asked me first, I'm not feeling it". That's the equivalent of saying "I liked you enough to ask you out right up till this moment, because now I don't feel like a man anymore" Huh? That's just more evidence that he's not the guy you want! LOL

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with @Sparkie460.

[Savannah194]

@yourpalval any guy would be very lucky if you asked them out. your gorgeous beautiful face 😊

[loveslongnails]

@Savannah194 True that!!

[Anonymous]

It's more than okay, it's the 21st century! Lol

Regardless of the gender, anyone can ask anyone out :))

[EmmaMary]

Just why the hell shouldn't it be? This is after all the 21st century.

[AviatorTom]

No, it's not OK, it's PREFERRED. That way, the guy knows she likes him and that they'll be doing something that she enjoys.

[daph_neo]

Society taught everyone that a man should only be doing that, but I completely disagree with that. It honestly comes down to who is more comfortable and confident to do so, at the end of the day.

[BurntKeyboard]

Yes, especially if he's the type who's unlikely to ask you out even if he likes you. It sucks that people put you down for your love life, but then do the same once you try to do something about it. And if you don't, they say you're not trying hard enough. It's so stupid.

[mermaidcancermoon]

Yes but it won't be me because i prefer assertive men.

[Avicenna]

It's always OK, assuming they're both single adults.

[dustybiker]

No. Bad idea. Then some people might end up happy.