I very much prefer dating guys who express interest in me instead of me chasing them. Any other women feel this way?

[Anonymous]

It shows me that they actually like me and find me attractive. If I were to approach a guy and he dates me, he might say yes but in my opinion that doesn’t mean he likes me or thinks I’m super attractive. I’m in the mindset that It just means he finds me acceptable enough to date me but if a girl he really likes comes around, HE WOULD APPROACH. therefore he might want her more or even cheat since he wasn’t the one who initiated with me in the first place

TLDR: because if a guy really likes you, he would approach you. If he doesn’t and you do the approaching, you most likely like him more than he likes you.

Yes I agree

No I don’t have a preference

[OlderAndWiser]

I very much prefer dating girls who express interest in me instead of me chasing them. Any other men feel this way?

It shows me that they actually like me and find me attractive. If I were to approach a girl and she dates me, she might say yes but in my opinion that doesn’t mean she likes me or thinks I’m super attractive. I’m in the mindset that It just means she finds me acceptable enough to date me but if a guy she really likes comes around, SHE WOULD APPROACH. therefore she might want him more or even cheat since she wasn’t the one who initiated with me in the first place

TLDR: because if a girl really likes you, she would approach you. If she doesn’t and you do the approaching, you most likely like her more than she likes you.

******************************************

Somebody's got to make the first move, so if you always expect the guy to do that, most of us will rise to the occasion, but we will also refer to you and other women like you as "the weaker sex." And we won't want to hear one word of complaint when we use that expression.

[Asker]

I don’t think it’s appropriate to say that but I am more conservative than most women and don’t consider myself to be a “modern woman”. As in I expect the man to do this to show his interest. Even if that means settling for a guy that I’m not that into

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are too scared to make the move and wait for the guy to do it, then you are weaker than the guy.

[Cynicaldreamer]

You know, I have no issue approaching and talking to a guy that I find attractive.
As I get older, I realize waiting around for a guy to approach me is... well not always ideal. As he might assume you're not interested or already taken... or he could be shy. So a little "nudge" in approaching a guy isn't terrible- it shows you do want him to approach and ask you out!

However, I do agree with the asker to an extent. If a guy is interested, he WILL make it obvious. Of all the guys I've asked out or approached, ask me how many felt the same way?

None.

Now that might just be super bad luck on my end. Or, as the asker said, if a guy is interested, he'll make it known. I've said this before and I'll say it again: yes, men want to be approached and asked out too. But-

It's a moot point if they're not attracted to you. Same can be said for women obviously, but I'm speaking from a female's perspective.

In other words, I can ask out a hot, single guy right now, but if he's not attracted to me, he might acknowledge the fact I approached him, but will he necessarily want to date me? NO.

So I get it. It's fine approaching a guy you like, but it's nice if they give us some hint that the feeling is mutual or they're interested to avoid wasting both parties time and energy.

[HighValue]

That is one of the main reasons many women get cheated on. They wait for guys to approach them every time. Think of it this way, players and cheaters are used to approaching many people often so they are actually the ones MOST likely to approach you, which means if you always rely on the guy initiating things at first you are MORE likely to get cheated on or used.

The next time a guy cheats on you that approached you first, and a guy that you liked but never approached ends up with someone else, remember what I said here.

[Asker]

OR

“ a guy that you liked but never approached ends up with someone else”

He obviously didn’t like me enough then. Why did he approach another girl if he did? Even if he liked me, He must like that girl more/cheat on me with her if he was with me and he was given the chance.

[HighValue]

Maybe she initiated with him the first time.

[Effably]

I am sure many feel that way. You could completely swap the genders and have the exact same situation for the guy and of course as a guy there are a few other things to consider as well.

Probably a nice little thought experiment to highlight the value of making your view clear e even if pursued.

[SunnyHeythere]

Wish I could talk to you

[Effably]

I am pretty awesome! And of course you're cool for recognizing that.

[SunnyHeythere]

Message me then

[Avicenna]

Most women would agree with you that they don't want to initiate with a guy. But if you do, it means you choose the guy you want rather than just talking to the guys who approach you, who might not be who you really want to do.

[Asker]

Yep that’s the downside for sure. Guys who I want never approach me but in the end I would rather the guy show that he’s interested than me chasing a guy who probably isn’t that into me.

[Avicenna]

* date

Well, you can ignite some interest by being friendly and starting a convo and see how he reacts.

[FilmGuy93]

Seriously? EVERY woman feels that way. That's a huge part of why modern dating is such shit. Women want men to compensate for women's lack of confidence

[Asker]

Modern dating is the opposite of that. Traditional dating is what I prefer- when the guy makes the move. You’ve got it backwards

[FilmGuy93]

“Modern” dating in the sense that it’s happening in modern times. In traditional dating; the women would put themselves out there too. There wasn’t this terrified and super guarded bullshit that we have now.

[Guy13]

It’s better for you if you chase me. I will dote upon you like the princess 👸🏻 you are 😚

[Asker]

But if you really liked her you would approach her first.

[Guy13]

That's true too or at least she would know that I am interested...

[Anonymous]

Not true. But keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Salesmen pursue me. I'm pretty sure none of them like me. 🤣

[Asker]

And I’m not talking about pursuit outside of romantic pursuits. Be real if you liked a woman you would approach her. If you had the option to date a woman who approached you first or the woman you approached, you most likely would prefer to date the second

[Opinion Owner]

Actually whether she approaches me or not has no bearing on whether I choose to date her. I'm well aware of how manipulative women can be so I don't buy most of what women say... kind of like now🤣. I concern myself more with her actions. Are they consistent. How does she treat others that she has nothing to gain from. These are traits of a quality person. Don't fall for sales pitches hun.

[Anonymous]

Honey all it means is that they want to fuck you. It has nothing to do with liking you as a person.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m the same way

[MiseriaCantareAFI]

The older we get, the more desp. we become

[Anonymous]

Seems normal to me.