Guy asked me out, asked for my number then ghosted?

[Anonymous]

So I was speaking to a guy, our conversation flowed and that was a rare moment for me. He was very responsive, I had a busy week but I did find time to reply. So we both replied within few hours max. He suggested we meet, asked for my number. I gave it and he didn’t message the whole next day. Usually I may not think too much of it but if a guy is regularly in touch and suddenly nothing, ofc I assume it won’t go anywhere and tbh I fo lose momentum and interest. He also claimed to be a man of action, has no time to waste lol the bs people spee. So by the 2nd day, afternoon i unmatched him. Ofc i knew doing this would definitely mean he won’t text me but I don’t think it was going to go anywhere anymore.

so I know guys sometimes may think they want to meet, but when it comes to actually doing it.. they aren’t as keen or have a better option. Luckily I manage expectations and saw this would happen more than not, but I guess I still believe some values should remain in tact -dont ask the girl out if you don’t want to meet.

But, why do this? And maybe, how can I learn to avoid this and even though I’m ok.. it does hurt and make you feel insecure/unworthy.

thanks a ton 🙂

[Anonymous]

With so many women available to him online, there’s just a lot of potential to connect and some women will catch his attention more than you did, just like some men will stand out more to you. You’re absolutely right, it’s rude and inconsiderate to ask you out then ghost. But dating online is hardly a fair playing field and rarely meets anyone’s expectations. One thing you have to try really hard to do is not make his choices a “you” thing. Keep in mind that everyone on there is looking for something and maybe he wasn’t finding what he sought in you, which may be for the better. Because what if he seeks something casual like a hook up or friends with benefits, and he sees you’re not that sort, you know? So don’t get insecure or let that bug you in any way. You just try again with someone else and hope the outcome is far better.

[chicosuave]

I don't know but girls do it all the time to men but then don't like it when a guy do it to them.

[Asker]

Ah so that means he feels its ok to do? As its become common? I don’t day yes and then not follow through, I’ll simply not say/agree to something. But I guess integrity is dead

[Anonymous]

What if I told you women do this 10 times more than men? Or does that matter?

[Asker]

Of course it matters. I can’t really speak for others right? I dont see my friends get so brutally ghosted as I do. Just I’d like to see how to avoid it, my guy friends said to wait before unmatching. My girl friends said nah. So its deffo a girl vs boy thing. But I also know most men know, especially in their 30s - that once a momentum is set, you gotta keep up or it will fizzle fast.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I took what you said at face value. I see no reason why he would have ghosted you unless. And this isn't a knock on you, "he felt like he got a better offer". Online dating is a meat market unfortunately you have to check your feelings at the door. I simply just don't get emotionally invested with any woman I talk to that's how I handle it. I'd guess that's probably easier for a guy to do then a woman.

[Asker]

Thanks! Yeh that’s how I saw it, or more as “he thought he wanted it until he actually had to do something about it”. Just odd to ask you out when there is zero intention, I’d rather just be straight up ghosted lol. But then again I did also unmatch and block him after 1,5 days so I guess I did ok to just decide to move on rather than let it linger as I frankly didn't want to hear from him anymore anyway

[Opinion Owner]

Well if you're one of these women who get turned off quickly by a guys unattentiveness then you just did him a favor by blocking him. At least that's the way I see it. I don't ask women out. That's how I handle it. I figure if she asks ME out then she's most likely to be interested. I realize i might lose some potential good matches that are still traditionalists that HAVE TO be asked out, but that's ok. I'm OK with remaining single.

[Anonymous]

A lot of men are all talk and no action.