I have a major crush on a girl from my high school days and I want to give it a chance. What do you suggest?

[Anonymous]

She used to sit next to me in class, we used to talk, tease each other etc. She was also my lab partner. She was not very good at science and I was very good at it and I used to show her how to conduct experiments which she enjoyed watching. I soon realized that I had developed feelings for her. However, I never found the courage to actually tell her. I was also getting ready to go to USA after high school for further studies and thought once I move to a different place I will eventually move on. However, before I departed for US I did tell her how I felt through text and she did reply fairly positively. I never replied to that message... This was in 2015. Today after almost 8 years, I admit that there has not been a single day I have not thought about her. I have tried all the internet guides on "How to forget a person" and have failed. Finally, I have decided to go back and actually ask her out and talk to her in person. If I don't do this, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I know it.

I did some research and it seems she is single for now. How should I initiate the initial conversation. I wanted to reach out to her over text and ask her out for brunch or lunch. I did buy her a fairly expensive gift (It is Chanel) but now that I read some posts regarding gifts, everyone thinks I should not give expensive gifts initially. What tips would you guys give me? Do you think I should go for it? Any suggestions?

[YourFavoriteFriend]

I would recommend no gift! It will just seems weird and send SIMP vibes. Girls HATE signs of neediness and "white knight" behavior so please avoid the gift. And no matter how you see it, you have no reason to give a gift (especially an expensive one) to a stranger (and don't tell me that you were classmates in the past, she's a stranger now), it's gonna seem very weird...

Now for the approach, I would go the opposite of what everyone else said and I'll recommend that you are honest and straight about your feelings. You can send her something like this:

Hello <her_name>, how are you doing?

She's probably gonna answer, something like:

I'm fine <some other stuff>, how about you?

The exact answer doesn't matter. The thing is that she'll probably ask you are you doing in the end, in which you can respond:

I'm doing great! I'm done with my studies and I'm coming back on town! The truth is that I always had feelings for you and I was wondering if you felt the same and wanted to meet?

Small and simple and doesn't feel like you pressure her! Also remember that a true man is always able to sort out his feelings and by honest about what he wants! I know this isn't very appreciated in our age, but some people still appreciate honest people. So even if she rejects you, you'll seem of as a confident grown adult that knows what he wants.

Also keep in mind something. Some people (including girls whose advice is more valuable I guess) will say that "take it more slow" and start as friends will allow her to feel comfortable and will give you better chances but I had a very bad experience with that (and I'm not the only one, lol) and now I believe that if she doesn't like you enough to say yes in a direct, straight invitation, you probably don't have a future together to begin with. And even if you had took it slow and it had worked, it would have probably ended at some point. In my eyes and based on what I've seen around, attraction is something that you know from the first meet with someone and you don't need time to "develop" it. If she had even the slightest feelings about you in the high school, she may deem it worth it to give it a shot and see how she feels about you.

The only reason I would have recommend the "become friends first" method is in case you want to be friends and stay friends even if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Then sure, go for it!

Good luck and update us on how it went (if you feel like doing so of course)!

[ARecruitedPerson]

This rings sorta true for the situation I find myself in, having feelings for a girl from my high school days which hasn’t gone away for over three years now. The difference being I told her how I feel, but I also don’t think her and I are compatible. Not suggesting you do that since you haven’t been in regular contact with her, just airing that for my own sake. No on the gift. That’s just not important and can come off as you trying too hard, I get it though, you love her and want to be with her! Just contact her and see if she’s up to catching up. Keep it casual, I presume you want to know what she’s been up to, simply keep it at that to start.

[watercolor_lions]

I would not recommend the expensive gift. If I were the recipient of a very expensive gift before 6 months, I would feel awkward.

The first thing I'd do is rekindle the friendship. And that could be as simple as saying hello and reminiscing about the old days. After being friends for about a month or so, I would try asking her out. That is probably the most natural, organic route that will feel the most comfortable for her.

[WhitneySnow]

Why didn’t you reply to her? She might be hurt by that and might’ve lost interest by now.

[Avicenna]

Go for it, minus the gift. You’re just contacting her to get caught up and to get her contact info. Play it by ear.

[exitseven]

You are right, if you don't try you will regret it for the rest of your life. Hang onto the present for a while but send her an email (not a text) and tell her that you are returning and would like to catch up. Ask her if she would like to go for dinner sometime. You don't have to be weird about it. Just be sincere.

[KelleyNice]

That sounds good.

[AviatorTom]

It never hurts to try. Contact her by text or email and set up a phone call with her. Tell her you're thinking of her and would like to get together. No gift, just be yourself.

[slatyb]

From like ten years ago? When did you last see her?

[Twalli]

Reach out saying that you want to reconnect. Don't make any moves romantically until you can catch up on everything that you both did since highschool

[captain_voidwalker]

This has always been the best dating advice

[Nominal]

Very fast with the gift, probably its gonna be Awkward moment. No gift.

[boobliker]

then tell her some way or she will never know!!