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1.) I perferr to take my time to really get to know someone before meeting.
2.) Between my two wonderful children and my successful career, I stay very busy.
3.) Don't waste my or your time unless your seriously willing to put forth the effort to build a long term committed relationship.
Do women not realize saying these types of things will only ensure that the wrong types will even attempt to contact them?
The unfortunate reality is that women don't wsnt online dating. They are bombarded daily with guys offering to take them out, so they have plenty of options. So they will take their time to get to know those guys and pick from them. They pretty much only turn to online dating for hookups and ego-boosts. Most girls on dating apps are literally only there to see how many guys will match with them and call them pretty. The rest are probably just looking for a hookup, and if you aren't physically attractive enough for them, they won't get to know you. If you ARE hot enough, they will just have sex with you and try to get to know you later if they feel like it.
The only ones who are actually trying online dating to get to know guys and form relationships are the ones who are either too busy in their lives (usually because of being single mothers) to meet guys or get offers, or they are the ones who are desperate because no one really wants anything to do with them for whatever reason.
Don't use online dating unless you are only going for hookups. Only talk to gals in real life. It's the only thing that'll work. Ideally, make some platonic female friends from work or whatever and slowly get to meet their friends or ask them to introduce you to girls who you find interesting.
The woman get frightened and realize the grass is not any greener in the digital world. And often, it greatly affects their person-person interactions after some time on the dating app. One can see the "wheels turning" wondering if the guy in front of them is as strange or "thinking the same things" as the Freak online was.
A positive effect is that those experiences on Apps tend to highlight the good in the men/women that are close to us now. Even the "worst" of the Ex start to look good. ;-) The Dating App simply creates more Hurdles than less. It may feel faster dashing and clicking with IM and moving into other Social Medias, however, there is more to investigate and understand before spreading of legs... Dating is exhausting if digital means are the main way to interact with the opposite sex.
Still, a recognizable skill set, sincerity, and ability to communicate eye-eye in person. facetime, zoom. or phone gets one more probable positive dating outcomes... this is why I enjoy the Meetup app and especially the "coupled events"... the referrals are before your face as they all have single friends...
Opinion
21Opinion
Because that's what you're suppose to do when dating, offline and outline? Taking the time to get to know someone, plus online dating can be just as dangerous as non online dating. You have to worry about catfishing, scammers, potential theifs, murderes, rapist etc. so when it comes to online dating, the need to be extra caustious is up. They are just trying to protect themselves and their kids from a possible threat cause you never really know who you're dealing with online. Plus they are just being upfront and honest and letting people who come across their profile that this is what they want and what they're looking for and if you don't line up with each other, then you can just move on and find someone else.
Most of my female clients did the same thing and wonder why they attract F boys and people who aren't interested in a relationship. No guy wants to date a woman who has 3 kids, 2 jobs and has comes off like they're life is a non stop disaster and has no time for anything else. Especially when they end it with "So don't waste my time"
Yeah no thanks.
Online dating is a perfect way to do what she's saying. She and the guy can text back and forth (typically within the dating site) and "get to know each other".
After my divorce, when I was on a few dating sites, I met several women that way. For several days or weeks, we would exchange messages, and then meet in person.
u When I read that on profiles in the past (currently in a relationship and not looking elsewhere,) assumed that it only meant "don't expect me to fuck on the first date."
After reading your many responses it looks to me like you're just trying to be validated for not having success and you're being biased not open you're not really looking for any opinions you're looking for your own opinion and anyone else's opinion that differs from yours you reject.
Anyways women who say
"1.) I perferr to take my time to really get to know someone before meeting.
2.) Between my two wonderful children and my successful career, I stay very busy.
3.) Don't waste my or your time unless your seriously willing to put forth the effort to build a long term committed relationship."
Are looking exactly for what they stated it says so clear as day you don't understand it because you reject the idea and that is as clear as day too so stay away from those girls because you don't have patience.
As far as your statement
"Do women not realize saying these types of things will only ensure that the wrong types will even attempt to contact them?"
Once more you are incorrect. These women are finding the men they're looking for and the men they're looking for are not you.
They want a patient man who's willing to go slow and understand their lifestyle and you clearly don't understand what they want what they need or how to be patient.
Now I am one of those girls who date online who have a very busy lifestyle who do not look for hookups I refuse hookups I have not done them and I refuse to meet quickly I do my primary dating online which is why it's called online dating not in person dating I do not want my time wasted by someone who wants a casual fling or is it NOT looking for a commitment if they're not interested in some sort of long-term don't look my way and guess what those terms work because I am in an 8 months going on 9 long term happy online dating relationship.
He a wonderful man. We it kept it slow as we both wanted. We've moved it on to daily phone calls text messages videos. We're intimate we're close and passionate. We're extremely sexual and we have an Great Bond. We're head over heels crazy about each other and it's going well. We know where we're headed with our relationship and we're happy on its progression it's the matter of being in agreement on how the pace is going. the terms listed above do work. nice and slow nice and steady with patience does exist. And yes we do plan on meeting at our pace that fits our lifestyle.
🤣🤣🤣 I am finished. You just spoke my mind exactly.
Okay, one thing for sure, is that women don't understand men as much as men don't understand women.
It is the very reason, women looking for serious relationships, struggle online and genuine men generally tend to have better luck in getting a woman to go on a date with them irl than when they meet on a dating site.
The idea of online dating is supposed to be that you get an extra layer of distance so you can sort of date on your own terms. Women have to feel safe in these interactions, so it’s not totally unreasonable that they would want take their time getting to know men from a distance
1.) I prefer to take my time to really get to know someone before meeting.
I enjoy texting. Deal with it.
2.) Between my two wonderful children and my successful career, I stay very busy.
I would make time for you, but you need to realise you're one of my priorities. I've other shit too, as I'm sure you do too. So when I'm not available immediately to you, I'd be out doing overtime or running errands for my house... Not cheating on your back. Have patience, and faith in our relationship.
3.) Don't waste my or your time unless your seriously willing to put forth the effort to build a long term committed relationship.
I don't do hookups. If you want that, look elsewhere. I've my boundaries and I'll respect yours too, if you communicated them to me. If you think communication and boundaries is a joke, fuck off.
I can't say about #3 since I have never said or had any reason to say that and so I don't relate to it. However, #1 is a way to let you down easy rather than telling you we are not interested. Of course #2 is not applicable to me so I can't be certain why a lady would say that, but I suspect it may be like #1 or else, I assume she is a single mother and a single mother with two children may be very busy.
Regardless, since they don't apply to me, I believe older ladies that may be looking for long-term relationship (I'm not) and/or single mothers could provide you with more definite answers for #2 and #3.
There are two types of women who you'll meet online. The type to say this are usually the type that intend on doing background research into you. They're pragmatic women. They want to know your social media to understand your social status, learn how you interact with your friends and strangers. These women can be deeply committed to you and they tend to bond for life with the right partner, although their initial checks may come across as shallow.
The other type of woman has a personality similar to your own. Where meeting face to face is what's needed to get a felt sense of a persons character in order to decide whether to move forward into a relationship with that person.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
"1.) I perferr to take my time to really get to know someone before meeting."
This is a green flag to me, I'm looking fir a woman who thinks this way
"2.) Between my two wonderful children and my successful career, I stay very busy."
I don't want kids, so I greatly appreciate her being up front about having them, successful careers are always good though, and I too stay very busy.
"3.) Don't waste my or your time unless your seriously willing to put forth the effort to build a long term committed relationship."
Also a green flag, hookup culture is disgusting, nice to see some women want something serious and longterm
"Do women not realize saying these types of things will only ensure that the wrong types will even attempt to contact them?"
I don't agree, its good filtering.
Reading other comments somebody said he thinks they are good filtering, you said "but when you read them, do you just skip over them?" I think that is what filtering means? She would want, for example somebody who does not want kids to skip over her and not waste time. In general I think women who say stuff like you quoted do not want many guys to contact them they want the right guys to contact them. Just my opinion!
I don't understand. What would be those "wrong types"? Surely it gets rid of anyone who's just looking for a night of sex.
I found in person dating a lot more safer than online. You dont know who is behind that keyboard or cell phone. I've had my fair share of the dangers of online dating and will never trust any online formate of dating again after what it has put me through.
1.) I prefer to take my time to really get to know someone before meeting.
My take - For us, emotions come before sex. So, if you are inclined and like her, give her time and talk.
2.) Between my two wonderful children and my successful career, I stay very busy.
My take - Its a way to keep the door open incase things go south and she wants to avoid you.
3.) Don't waste my or your time unless your seriously willing to put forth the effort to build a long term committed relationship.
My take - We know this won't make a difference to the ones who want to play... they'll still play. However, we try... its an inbuilt conversation starter ! :p
I use the 666 rule.
No more than 6 guys fucking me at once, they must have at least 6 dollars, and they have to accept that I have 6 kids.
You are putting more time into thinking about it then they did in writing it.
Just because most of them suck, doesn't mean you can't take a chance. I have really bad social anxiety issues, and I only feel comfortable first speaking on the internet. It doesn't help that every time I try to talk to someone outside of the internet, they treat me like absolute shit. I'd rather take my chances with the sea of creeps, at least I know they don't mind talking to me. If you've got a problem with that, you're a closed minded asshole who's never been in my situation and should shut the fuck up. But, it probably doesn't matter to you that this wasn't actually my choice and is extremely difficult, since you people are so unbelievably shallow and ignorant. I wish you could be forced into this situation like I was, even for just one day.
I think it's normal. But that doesn't mean that we keep it online for a while. No, we click? Okay we meet up asap and see from there. What we mean is taking our time in getting into a relationship. The online dating is mainly just a way for that first hi and planning a date.
I'm thinking they're probably not big on introspection when they post shit like that
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