Should I be worried if my boyfriend likes and saved sexy photos of random girls on Instagram?

Question

Just to be clear, my boyfriend and I are always lovey dovey. He loves a lot. He respects me. He gives me attention, calls and texts, even while he is at work.

I was given the permission to open his Instagram account, and to my surprise I saw a lot of sexy photos and reels of random girls on his feeds. He even saved them. Should I be worried? or is this normal for most genders to like and save sexy photos of random people on Instagram? May I know for what reason or purpose? And, do you think I am crossing over his boundary or privacy?

I need advice before I could brought this up to him.

Thank you.

Updates

1 y

Should I just ignore this sort of behavior and focus on what he shows to me (his caring, his love, etc.) ?

How can I convince him to change that mindset?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

You are in trouble because those "sexy" photos will find their way to some revenge porn sites the second that you and him go different paths. Guaranteed.

Also, you have absolutely no guarantee that he did not show those pictures to his buddies and friends, simply to brag (or to make fun of you) and how lightly you take data protection and the publication of potentially compromising material. You realize I hope that those pictures are there to stay permanently in the internet. You will never ever regain control of them. That is also guaranteed.

You can talk with him but this will be of no use. He can promise you whatever he wants, you will never be certain.

And yes, a lot of men save dubious images of all kind of women on their phones, hard disks and any other platform. That is almost part of their genes and the more you dig in and the more you want to know about it, the more you will be faced with lies, denial and phoney excuses.

If you were given the approval to snoop on his phone, then you are not crossing over any boundaries.

lullulalla · Accepted Answer

I'm 23yo, female, and i think what your boyfriend does is somewhat similar to what I do. I like to save reels and posts of hot guys. Sometimes it's to show my boyfriend and tell him it'd be cool if he did something like that too... Other times it's just because I liked it and appreciate such sexy bodies. I like to think that it's similar to admiring art. Just to be clear, i really love and admire my boyfriend. I'm happy and content with him. And we both admire sexy people equally and understand that it's just that and nothing more.
What I'm trying to say is.. you don't have to be too worried as long as your relationship is good and he gives you all his love. Let him do his thing. Don't confront him until it's to the point where he starts comparing you to those other women. Although I believe and hope it's not to that point.

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

No why should you be?
I've look at hot girls too online it's a normal thing to do. If you want to think of someone badly because they find someone online hot you aren't gonna ever be in a relationship.

Because at some point any normal person will tell you oh I think this celebrity is hot, or this youtuber I watch is or well duh I've watched porn before.
And who knows how you'll react when you find out we aren't blind so if we see a hot girl get on the bus we are gonna glance at some point.
But doing that has no indication we would do anything more. It would be a big leap to think just cause we find someone attractive that we will just go off and cheat by that logic every man cheats. And you would also be denying the truth that you find guys attractive too.

I'm sure you'll also see men you find attractive that aren't your boyfriend it don't mean you would cheat though.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

I do not do this but all the guys I know who do either use it as low grade porn etc. It creates an unreal expectation and is not a good mindset. Typically, these guys are watching porn too. All of this reduces the ecstasy of the sex and the attractiveness of the woman. Envisioning the porn type of thing etc...

It is a Buzz... like a Narcotic but worse as it rewires the brain.. see book HOOKED on amazon from a neuro medical journal and broken down for layman including Practical aspects.

coachTanthony · Answer

Look at it this way. If just one woman gave him a shot on instagram would he do it? Why bother with all that when he has you? I would definitely bring it up. I wouldn't demand him do this or do that but just tell him that maybe you were disappointed when you saw that. If he is the sweet guy and not an A hole hopefully he will think about how it makes you feel.

Avicenna · Answer

Not if they’re just random women online he has no contact with

Angryfrog · Answer

Everyone is going to tell you his a scumbag and that your in a bad relationship, but they dont actually know either of you and lifes got more sides than a coin.

If he's responsive, loving and caring and you feel safe, comfortable and enjoy time with him then remember their good signs. If his sharing his instagram and not hiding things then thats less likely to be a sign his looking elsewhere more a sign his clueless how you might respond.

Is he DM these girls or just looking?

To answer your question - the purpose is to perv because their hot and he likes the way they look. doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, their two dimensional images of a fantasy, your a living real rounded person. Men fantasize like women do their just more visual about it, doesn't mean they dont know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Anonymous · Answer

This culture is all about gradually lowering standards, morals, behavior and accountability...

People will go out of their way trying to tell you that this is normal, but it's only 'normal' in such a culture. You say that he respects you and loves you... and yet he has pictures of random girls saved on his phone. The statements do not match the actions...

If you were to stop putting up with any of this behavior, you know you wouldn't be with him. But as it stands, turning a blind eye to this is sending the message that you are ok with 'gradually lowering standards'.

I wouldn't even give a woman the time of day that felt the need to have such images. Each to their own I guess.

rienna888 · Answer

You should talk to him about it, say that it makes you uncomfortable. He will understand and then you guys could figure it out together. I’d honestly be insecure too but I have a feeling he shows you to make you jealous. Also I’ve heard that guys do that and it’s harmless but chat with him.

Punk-y · Answer

It's not normal, and even if it's common (which is different from being normal) it's not okay. Tell him how it makes you feel and if he's not an asshole he'll understand and stop. But if he reacts negatively and decides he prefers to have these pictures instead, he's an idiot, you should be his priority

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If he is not contacting them, no, it's fine, its just porn at that point. If he is chatting with them while dating/married to you, thats a red flag, unless they are cosplayers or content creators, and he is asking for instructions on how to make his own.

soe11 · Answer

Dear

It's absolutely normal, so you should not be worried at all, in fact he love you trust you.

I think he live and love fantasy world, if you want to stop him this hobby than you shape his mind by wearing sexy attractive outfits and going out for cinema, dinning out, clubbing and window shopping once a week.

Read his mind and act accordingly.

I hope got answers positive.

Paulalove98 · Answer

Thats pretty disrespectful. Why would he need those photos if he has you? Watching porn sometimes is one thing but saving pictures of other girls would be a red flag for me... but If I was you'd I'd definitely bring my concerns up.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's nothing to worry about, but if you are worried about it; just ask him not to do it because it makes you feel bad.

The fact it makes you feel bad is all the reason you need to ask him to not do something. Don't complicate things.

FireGodGoesSeeknFire · Answer

No, men tend to compulsively collect tokens of things they appreciate. Entire industries (baseball cards for example) are based on this habit.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Yes, be worried. It indicates a tendency for lack of satisfaction.  No, because it adds spice into your physical sexual relationship.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If this doesn't bother you then don't say anything, but if it does then mention it to him.

BJP21 · Answer

Every guy has sexy girl they admire Im sure he's well aware they're more than likely married, out of his distance to reach, and definitely out of his league.  Hope that helps.

Anonymous · Answer

He's just jerking off it's harmless. Ignore it and it will never bother your relationship.

Spiritofn · Answer

He be busting nuts at work in the washroom looking on Reddit hahahaha

Tracker1958 · Answer

She advertising just like you did, how is going to sell her body if she doesn't advertise?

OddBeMe · Answer

I wouldn’t. I think it’s the media now. Like my gpa and Penthouse.

Twalli · Answer

A lot of guys like saving photos of sexy and attractive girls.

jjj101010 · Answer

I am happy to help u with this from a guys perspective if u want?

Should I be worried if my boyfriend likes and saved sexy photos of random girls on Instagram?

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