Girls, asked a woman out. she had plans. awkward since. what should I do?

[touchofwonder]

When I asked the woman I like " can I ask one thing would you like to go on a coffee date on this day" and she said "um i am going to a airbnb with a friend on that day" I said ok and left. I saw her the next three days, just said hi you ok and there was awkwardness but keeping my distances as much as possible to not make it more awkward. I am doing other things for a couple of weeks so I won't be seeing her. Hopefully it will be back to normal when I next see her. Would it be mad if I ask her again but say if she would like to have a date with me when she is next free from work and\or plans

i am in my middle thirties and she is in her early twenties but We did have a couple of things in common and poked a bit of fun at each other. i know i should have suggested another time when free or let her say for another day but just seem to have given up when she said what she was doing

[PrettyPriya]

No, it is not “mad” to ask her again. I would do it in a certain way that puts the ball in her court though. Let’s look at this two ways. One, she did have legit plans. Nothing negative to take away from that situation.

Two, things got awkward. Honestly, it may have been what you said that made it awkward. “Hi, you okay?” is a weird way to start off a conversation with someone that you are casual with. If it were me, I would be thinking in my head “uhhh, yeah. Why the fffs would you think I am not?”.

So, I think that you have done the right thing by giving some distance. Give it some time. Now, the next thing is how to bring it up again. This goes back to the putting the ball in her court.

I would suggest saying something like “Hey, if you are still interested in having a coffee, I would still like to get together. Let me know if you are free.”.

That makes her in control of the situation as to how to proceed and when. The best you can hope for is that she takes you up on the offer. Best of luck to you.

[touchofwonder]

i said hi you okay the next couple of times i saw her as i was trying to make it less awkward with her

[PrettyPriya]

I would try again to bring up meeting for coffee and see what she says. Make sure you say that you are free anytime she wants.

What that does is disable the possibility of her saying “I’m busy” again. She either has to accept or reject if it is up to her to choose when.

[touchofwonder]

i have asked a couple of women out in my life but haven't asked out anyone out in about 10 years so when i say Let me know if you are free should i give hr plenty of space to think it over

[PrettyPriya]

Exactly. If you say something similar to what I suggested, it places the burden on her to decide. Just give her time and see if she takes you up on it.

[touchofwonder]

ok thank you

[PrettyPriya]

Most welcome and good luck! Relax and be yourself and see what happens. Have a nice holiday.

[SueShe]

The age gap is something like 12+ years and to many girls, that is a no go.

If someone tells me that they are not available on a specific day, then I understand it like "don't bother to ask me again".

It could be true that she has something planned but my gut feeling is that it was her way to tell you that she was not interested. Granted, this way of saying it is not the best.

Give it a few weeks and if she comes up with another excuse, then you know that you should move on.

[WhitneySnow]

If it feels awkward don’t ask her again

[Anonymous]

Sounds like this not going anywhere.