Guy is sick or I'm ghosted?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I matched with this guy on a dating app - OkCupid. After several days of texting we seemed to vibe with each other well. He asked me out on Tuesday and we planned to go to a place on his bucket list on Saturday. Throughout the week we were still texting (we kind of made it clear that neither of us were talking with anyone else) and both of us were very excited for our date. For context, this would be my first date with someone from dating apps so I was quite nervous. He knew about it, but assured me that everything would be fine and he couldn't wait to meet me irl. On Saturday morning he said good morning to me as usual, we texted for a little and he said he had a fever. I didn't hear from him for the rest of the day and Sunday. I texted him to ask if he was ok but he didn't reply so I told him to rest and get well soon. On Monday morning he texted saying he got covid and was very sick (high fever, chills and throwing up). We texted a bit throughout the day whenever he felt better. I told him to take care. Last I heard from him was Monday night and it's been 5 days. I texted him on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday asking if he was ok but he didn't read my messages. I wanted to call but we haven't called each other before and I was afraid that I might bother him. I stopped texting from Thursday. My friends said it seems like he's ghosting me, but he didn't strike me as a ghost in our conversations, if anything he really cared and always responded to my texts although he said that usually he was not a texter (the week that we started talking and he was not sick). He even said something along the line that it was not nice to ghost people etc. I noticed that he was online briefly throughout the week on Instagram. I'm not sure what to take of this since I don't have experience with online dating. Should I confront him or wait since I know some people might have it very rough with covid or move on completely?

[Staximus]

I don't know about the covid over there, but the covid over here is weak. Unless the guy is hospitalized, he could at least just text back. Texting is weak too, serious people make phone calls. You haven't met him in person or even had a conversation on the phone or FaceTime, no big loss. You can't "vibe" with somebody over text, you have to be there in person. You are placing to much importance on a nonexistent relationship that hasn't even occurred yet, with a person who you don't even know in real life (in person). Fuck it, move on with your life already. So investing mental and emotional energy into some fuck boy. Don't contact him anymore. Maybe he will call, maybe not. Don't answer his texts if he suddenly starts texting you again with some bullshit excuse. If a guy gives a fuck, it only takes 30 seconds to text back. The only excuse is if he is in the hospital, dying , or somebody else is dying.

[Anonymous]

It's the internet. Always take EVERYTHING you read with a grain of salt.

I would have moved on already. There is a small chance he really has covid and is sick. And if that is true, chalk it up to this is fate intervening and giving you a clue that you two ain't right for eachother. stop fighting fate! Consider this. If he really does have covid, really does want to know you, then he'll track you down later, because you're worth it right? And if he's not smart enough to see that why would you want to date someone that dumb. Move on! Don't put your life in hold for every little hiccup that comes along. You have no guarantee this guy is EVER coming back. Why would you wait?

[Labokachulaa]

I've heard of situations like these, those guys are players. It sounds like he soft ghosted you, because you mentioned he was online. It seems like he only wants to keep you around as backup. That could definitely be a reach, but that's just what it sounds like on my end.

I would just start dating someone new honestly, because he's already shown you that he's inconsistent.

[JasminTheRose]

Stop texting him your just being pushy. Your being ghosted, probably trying out a new woman ajd keeping you as an option.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is accomplished by having a confrontation? You know what you need to know and it is time to move on. Is it possible you let yourself get a little too invested in this possibility a little too quickly?

[Asker]

I did invest too much too quickly since I haven't had experience and when we were talking he was giving me such a good impression, saying how much he valued honesty and all. I didn't mean confronting as accusing him or anything, I just wanted to let him know that I feel hurt and confused.

[OlderAndWiser]

The kind of guy who would do this to you doesn't care that you feel hurt. In the future, remember that regardless of how well you THINK you know someone from texting or even talking on the phone, you really don't know that AT ALL until you start spending time together in person.

[Guy13]

Either way, he does not seem as though as he can be trusted. Ghosted, if I had to guess.. sorry.

[Asker]

Hi, thanks for your opinion. Should I confront him since I'm pretty hurt and mad right now or just silently move on?

[Guy13]

Before you disappear, calm, kind, and gentle tone…it was hurtful etc.

No woman emotion or we’re not going to believe “just 🦇 💩 Crazy normal…I’ll be back in that within 3 weeks.”

[Teriyaki70]

I'd wait a few more days cause being sick sucks and he might be very sick. But I wouldn't say anything more. If he doesn't get back to you in a few days he's probably not interested

[Reece12345]

Forget about him and move on. He changed his mind about seeing you.

[Coden7]

Something must have spooked him which is too bad. You sound like a good person. There should be another good guy looking for someone like you.

[Summeroflove]

Shit happens sometimes

[spartan55]

I will bet the ranch he doesn't have Covid.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s really sick. Just be patient.

[Anonymous]

May be he died by covid...

[In_Trance]

Ghosted