Why can girls change guys so much?

Question

I was single for almost three and half years. I was enjoying my single time, hanging out with friends, drinking with them and I was happy. I was thinking that I’d like to stay this way forever. Be single don’t worry about this dating shit. I always wanted to travel solo and it was one of my dreams. But then I got to know a girl. She was really pretty. Her friends told me she likes me for a long time. After time I caught feelings for her even though i tried really hard not to. After some time we got closer. We kissed few times, we went out. But then she ended things. It really hurt me. When I fell for her I was no longer like i want to spend my free time with friends, i wanted to spend time with her. No longer I wanted to stay single forever. I would be willing to give up my dream solo travelling to be happy with her. I didn’t mind when my friends were teasing me about her. Now when she ended things I am where i was before her. I am still not over her though. But i guess i want to be single forever again cuz this shit is not worth it.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Cuz most girl’s are selfish people and live with the grass is greener syndrome , she will chase a guy she is attracted to make him feel on top of the world the second she feels she got the man she wanted then bam he means nothing to her, and she feels she is missing out on things or she deserves better , sadly the only way a man might keep a girl by his side is if he treats her good and bad , most girl’s need to feel submissive to her man that she can look up to him and that he will be fine without her , when she feels dominate over her man she starts to lose interest , even though us guys just want her and want to love just her that’s a turn off to most girls’ When a girl knows you aren’ t going anywhere and that you love her with all your heart she will start picking fights with you and making you feel like your a piece of shit for completely loving her, you become weak to her eyes and that you are a pansy , Girl’s need that challenge and they need the drama , and they need to feel dominated to keep things exciting , if she doesn’t have that with you she will be drawn to another guy that she feels has more confidence and is more of a man then you are. Not every girl is this way but a huge majority of them are this way , she will spread her legs to a guy that she feels is more confident that has a bigger ego that has other’s look up to him. I have slept with married girls and girls that were in relationships already that lied to me that they were single , the sex was amazing but when I found out the truth that they were cheating on their husbands and boyfriends with me I lost all respect for them , to me they were just complete whores , those girl’s treated me better then a girl that was actually single , fucked up but true, because they knew in the back of their minds they were pieces of shit , I honestly felt bad for the husbands and boyfriends that these girls were doing that shit behind their backs , I am not going to commit to a girl that can cheat on her husband or boyfriend period , if she can cheat on him she sure as hell will cheat on you one day , That’s why I always say girl’s are way more selfish then guys are based off of my experiences with girls , So my advice is if a girl isn’t treating you like a King and starts treating you like a Joker , kick her ass to the curb where she belongs , when a girl starts with holding sex from you like it’s a bargaining agreement , kick her ass to the curb and go bang the other girl that wants you , don’t ever let a girl become dominate over you or she will tear your heart open and shit on it. Cuz I guarantee she is already getting plowed by some other guy or she has interest in some other guy , Most girls are sneaky whores that can keep a husband cuz he is a good provider and a hard worker but secretly she will have. Lover that she let’s dominate her in every way that she will cater to like he is the best thing that ever happened to her , why guys should never take a girl back if you busted her cheating on you , The things she did with that other guy is probably things she never did with you. In todays world most girls are very selfish people that only care bout themselves.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Men are impacted by being with women they like deeply in a way that's different than it is for women vice versa. Not saying women don't or can't experience that same deepness, but I think men are a lot more emotional about a very strong connection they have with a woman.

It's the reason why breakups impact men differently and often motivate them to want new things in themselves and their lives. It's why you'll hear the stories from guys on call-in shows or them commenting on relationship videos telling how after they had a breakup they got into exercising, focused more on advancing in their job/career, or started having a major goal they wanted to accomplish, and did. Women, I think, are less introspective like that after a breakup.

I think you need a focus on those kinds of activities, if you aren't already. It'll help you to get through that feeling that you'll never be the same again. Trust me. I was once in the same place, but became so much better as time went on. You will too, and you'll also find later on that you probably won't even be interested in that girl anymore either.

Catarine · Accepted Answer

Honestly I'm a girl and this feels like my soon to be problem. I was singlemy whole life, I liked being single even tho nobody understood, I had crushes, but didn't want to be with them and I forgot them soon enough, no problem there. My last crush lasted long and I believed there would be nothing of it, but it happened, something clicked and we started dating, it was so nice at the beggining, but now I feel indifferent about our relationship. I think I'm gonna be single soon and I feel this already. I don't think I can be happily single anymore

LovingLoverReturned · Accepted Answer

You already had a taste. Similary they put down animals after they tasted human blood- because there is a chance they will add it to their menu.

Because it is the nature of human and written in our genes to pair up and procreate. There are a rare bunch who are abnormal. For us- once you get a taste it is there forever.

Let me illustrate when it comes to dogs. You spay (or the male version of spaying) before they start to mate because if they had a taste they may still run away looking for that

MrOracle · Answer

Girls cannot change guys. Girls can SOMETIMES make a guy want to change himself, which can lead to him changing, but HE has to WANT to change.

For a girl, if she wants her guy to change, she needs to understand that complaining, threats, and ultimatums will never work to make him change - the only way to influence him changing is through positively. He needs to be made to understand why those changes are good for him and a benefit to him. One negative word and he's going to resist, and no change will ever take place. Now, positivity isn't always going to work - in fact, it may not even work half the time - but negativity will never work.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

People can change others, but it never works out the way people want to, if they are intentionally trying.

Usually its from pain or hurt feelings that people change, grow a protective shell or maybe they become more open and honest.

Everything we do in life, who we interact with can change us a little each time.

Guy13 · Answer

Change, whether girl or guy, is often temporary and fickle. The possibility of our Respect Factor, in the woman we adore, increasing entices this guy do whatever to see those eyes.

Research says that it takes 90-120 days for a new change to turn into a lifestyle habit. The gym and alcohol/weed are always the examples offered.

Changiis07 · Answer

Well not everyone is meant to get married but she was also someone who made you think differently about your single life. I'm sure you can find someone else in the meantime. Single life is great so hopefully you can go travel soon

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. What is your question? 2. No one can make you change without your active cooperation.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

People who want to travel all over the place solo, typically do not know what they want in life.
When they find something they want, it often adds a movement restriction on them.

The more things you want to have, the harder it is to travel.
A relationship is usually a big one of those things, its why people call it "settling down". Because you aren't going all over the place anymore, and finally found a suitable spot, with a suitable person, and a suitable job, in a suitable home, with suitable posessions, etc.

The more off that list that you obtain, the more impossible globetrotting is.

This is why you feel she "changed you", because you have yet to decide who "you" are and what you want, and this is also why I see women who like globtrotting as a massive red flag (if they are so unhappy or indecisive with anywhere or anything, why would they keep me? Why would they stick around?)

She didn't change you, she helped you find a part of you that you failed to find on your own, either because you are bad at mentally visualizing, or (ironically) lived a sheltered life.

Helllo123 · Answer

If you have mutual friends with her. Have you considering asking why she ended things with you? Especially since she's the one who liked you for a long time. I think you should ask.

And solo traveling is the best! I've solo traveled to two countries so far (with a broken heart) and that never stopped me. so I think you should still live your dream on solo travelling because it will make you feel better and it could be a distraction for you and the best part is you can meet new people. I wouldn't hold my life over some guy who kissed me a few times and then broke it off... its not worth it. I would recommend going on a dating site just to see if you can find someone else because she's not the only girl in the world for you.

Go on your solo travel you won't regret it! And stay in touch with your friends while doing it. It's an amazing experience.

Raph37 · Answer

Due to the question... I would say, "yes." They say "we guys are the same" as in; "we are horny dogs" we will do any girl. However, they're will be 1 girl in about every 10. That is really different from other women. She might be ugly she might be fat. But she loves you in a different way then any other. Her fundamentals may be strong.

To make this comment short. I would say that girl changed me. Gave me a different view on certain things.

Yeah, I might be the same. But threw out her ways. I've learn to see things more clearly as I walk threw life.

Your change is not really a change. It's more on the attachment side. I would say to continue doing solo travelling. You might find a female around as you go; that can do the traveling with you.

nrm736 · Answer

Because you let them.

Based on your story you had become too much infatuated by this girl after years of singleness and this led you astray.

You were willing to give up too much of yourself for her and make her a priority. Maybe that's why she left. That's why it hurts so much.

Whatever girl steps into your life next time, don't throw your integrity away. Hold yourself together and get on with your own life as well. Don't neglect your friends, don't give up on your dreams - involve her in your dreams instead.

Valso · Answer

Because of a bi7ch like her 15 years ago I developed a method not to catch feelings and it's working flawlessly so far. Here it is: when you catch yourself you're about to catch feelings for anyone, do your best to have a look at her as a bystander, as someone who has just met her and has no feelings for her. Look for any flaws (physical or in her personality) that would push you away from her or even disgust you, if necessary. If you still can't find any, ask any friend of yours, including your best friend, to tell you what he doesn't like about her that you can't see. If any of the things he tells you match your dislikes, focus on them the next you meet her. I guarantee you your feelings will disappear as quickly as they appeared.

Anonymous · Answer

Not to sound ignorant but I am in my 30s, never been in a relationship, never had sex. I am not some bitter dude to women. I have a masters degree, I work 30 hrs a wk, go to school on the side pursuing another degree, cook good food, im fairly reasonable, I work out 4 times a wk, eat healthy, decent looking guy. But I’ve studied politics, economics, genders, religion. I cut out toxic guy friends from my life. I dress well. I groom myself and smell good. I have morals and ethics and know how to have a level of etiquette. I don’t drink booze, I don’t party, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. I’m not perfect but what would a girl have to change about me then? I don’t need a woman in my life because I’ve tried in the past but all I got was drama and headaches so no thanks.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Boy or girl getting feelings for someone will change how you behave. When you don’t have someone like that in your life your priorities will obviously be more self focused and when you fall for someone you’re naturally going to be more interested in what ever they are doing.

Simply put romance changes your situation and thus your perspective.

findacure4wokeness · Answer

They can only change spineless, Desperate simp types mostly. In the presence of a manipulative girl on a date I have told myself this is a mistake and start looking for exits. But if a girl is is sweet and kind than they can make most guys want to be a better man.

Nsync · Answer

I don't think it's about a girl making the changed in you. You were trying to avoid something and when you had it you realised it felt better for you.
There is nothing wrong with any choice. It's great that you have it.
Don't force anything, just go with the flow. It's so amazing when you find the right person for you. That's the key.
All the best!

Twalli · Answer

Flip the script. What if she didn't leave you? What if she stayed with you and you got married? Wouldn't that have been amazing? People say they don't want to date because they're worried about it failing. Yet they need to realize, they're ensuring that there is no possibility of success.

Beardedman1996 · Answer

Women can both make a break men in multiple ways, i wouldn’t have developed the motivation to get half the shit done that I need to with out the push of a woman in my corner, but I also have maybe 30 minutes to an hour of peace to myself daily, constant reassurance for them, conversation and alternatives and compromising peace, oh and all of the money I’ll never get back, be careful dating in this day in Age

Songomatic · Answer

Sounds like you still love her. Sometimes if you don't get it right the first time you can get it right the second time. Try harder lol Hope that helps 👇

annabananna · Answer

Attachment and chemicals in the brain. It hurts when it doesn’t work out but when it does it’s worth the risk! Also when you are in a relationship try to still make time for others.

Rathoreshivraj · Answer

When a guy loves a girl truly
He change himself for her
He always try to be better for her
But when she breaks his heart
The guys feels like he looses his quality time for her
And these things makes a good boy to be bad boy

It hurts 💔

Qdbrown · Answer

Because young men think with their small brain  Let that guy get over 40, and the tables turn.

Why can girls change guys so much?

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