We dated for a couple of years. Met each other’s family (he was divorced so I wanted to take things slow). I felt like he wasn’t truly over his ex and felt like I was being compared, he said he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the divorce but is happy with us and can still love again.
It was mostly good until he started to become distant the more serious we were getting, despite trying to say he wanted something long term with me. But he thought I wanted more in terms of marriage and kids (although he’s lead me down that path, probably testing me in hindsight, but of course you’re going to start considering more as a couple than you might’ve initially) so in the end I asked if we should end it, he said he thinks I want more and as it’s hurting me it’s for the best to finish it for now despite him saying it’s not best for him.
We stayed in touch and he’d flirt and compliment me, but then he said maybe in the future we could get back together but at the moment he needs to sort himself. I went quiet after that as I needed distance to move on completely. He then contacts me suggesting we meet up. I agreed, but he saw another guy flirting with me on social media, I explained I didn’t want to date anybody right now, he asked why, I said just personal reasons. He then went quiet, no more flirting etc. Next thing is he’s posting updates with another woman I presume he’s dating. He still responds to my social media posts here and there and sends kisses in his messages when he does, but doesn’t initiate as often as before and it’s not flirty. So do you think he has completely moved on now, as in no feelings for me, no trying to make me jealous with posts of new woman etc?
I’d be grateful for some honest and wise thoughts on this guys. I don’t need advice unless I ask. I’m just trying to understand his mindset right now so I know what’s best for my next move.
Thanks 🙂
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You are not asking the right questions. Be more upfront. And if it isn't a clear "yes" then it's a clear "no".
I’m not sure what you mean…what questions should I be asking? I felt vulnerable saying this.
More right to the point.
I’m just asking what guys thoughts are on what he might be thinking.
That's the problem. The easiest way to know is to ask HIM!
It’s not that simple
What's the problem?
I want to know whether he’s over me or not. I don’t know if I can trust him to be honest.
If I was in that situation I would communicate clearly what I want, and ask the other person what they want themselves.
If it isn't a clear yes, then I assume a clear no.
I don’t want to yet in case it is a no. Otherwise I would, I’ve done it before. Hence why I’m trying to gather insight here first. That’s the whole point of this.
What do you prefer: a straight "no", or wondering for a while?
How long are you willing to be wondering?
I think I’d rather not know now if it’s a no. I think if it’s yes there’ll be signs along the way to indicate that.