Is it a RED FLAG to find out the person you are interested in plays a huge amount of video games in their spare time?

Question

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Oh you're referring to me? Damn, didn't know you would be calling me out today, sheesh 😂

No. I mean I'm a gamer, if anything finding a guy that likes gaming in his spare time would be a turnon more than anything! As long as he's taking care of his other real life obligations (work, chores, bills, etc), and spend some time with me- let him game in his spare time to unwind!

I don't think non gamers understand WHY we game, so let me break it down for y'all-
Like how some people exercise, go out partying, drinking, watch tv, or movies to relax, gaming is our outlet. I don't judge y'alls hobbies and means to relax, don't criticize mine!

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

"Guess I'll sit in a Normal chair then!!" 😡😡

No it's not a red flag. With every hobby, what matters is how much you do it. If we are in a relationship and nothing would change if we were both single, we got a problem on our hands.

ManOnFire · Answer

I wouldn't say it's a red flag. Just wouldn't fit for my life and what I look for in a person. I play video games from time to time and have my favorites, but I wouldn't call myself a dedicated gamer or anything. And girl gamers aren't very attractive to me, so wouldn't work as a good relationship fit, but there are lots of other guys who could appreciate that.

DaveJord · Answer

Depends how much money the spend on it and if that effects the finically.

BigWhiteWolf87 · Answer

Yes.

See the difference between "gamers" and most hobbists is something like RC cars IS a hobby. They do it in their spare time like many other people do their hobbies. And they typically do it sporadically; may play with RC cars once a week or even once a month.

Whereas something like WoW and other video games IS an obsession to many "gamers". They don't play once a week or even once a day, some play games every second available. They'll eat, drink & if/when possible take a shit playing the game.

Such on average, there's atypicals, indicates a number of things about their persona:
1) Little ambition - there's far better things to do with your free time (read a book, take a couse, improve your job, education, etc.) as said they spend far too much time on it.
2) Obsessive behavioural disorder - a known mental health issue that can, with some, become dangerous. Parents have been attacked by their kids for turning off a game.
3) Addictive personality disorder - what I've met of gamers, particularly of friends roomates in university, is that at that age they were alcoholics and even drug abusers.

And probably other things.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’m not saying one should NEVER play games again. I’ll just never understand how its still interesting enough to play daily/weekly/monthly after a certain age (25+). I play my stuff (mostly racing related) maybe a total of one month a year and thats enough for me. I don’t even play board games yearly. I love online pool but dont even play that monthly. I liked Sims but don’t even play that monthly. I mean even GTA5 got old quick. I haven't played that since 2015.

I don't know for me i think its first about the type of game that my dude would be playing and THEN how often he plays it. Since I was a kid, its very common for dudes to play 2k games but they are very good at multitasking and spending time with us while playing. Shit my mom bought her dude loads of games/consoles back then. But he also knew how to put the controller down. He didn’t usually play 3-6 hours daily.

If this one ex of mine had been playing 2k (NBA/NFL), Madden, The Show, NFS, Forza, Gran Turismo, or Riders Republic, i probably would’ve been a bit turned on and more willing to watch him stream. But he was instead playing stuff like Ark Survival. Cringe. So he’d get mad I wasn’t around to keep him company and I was annoyed he was too busy playing games, especially ones I considered boring. Plus he always put on this seemingly fake persona to impress his online friends. And i hated that Ark was one of those games that kept running even when he was offline. He’d wake up early worrying someone would raid him, taking his weapons and stealing/killing his baby dinosaurs or some shit.

In the future, I don’t mind dating an occasional gamer who plays a few times a year but thats it. Look, people can do whatever they want. I just won’t be around to see em do it.

Is it a RED FLAG to find out the person you are interested in plays a huge amount of video games in their spare time?

Anonymous · Answer

Actually my first boyfriend was a huge gamer. He had a unhealthy schedule of working all night for a job. His days off, he would play video games all day. We basically never saw each other. I was always making an effort to see him. Then I find out he's cheating on me. I'm like dang bro how did you even find the time lol.

To make a long story short, I wouldn't date a guy like that. I have and it wasn't fun. I play video games too and at least with the guy I dated, that didn't entail playing games together. We played once in awhile but he mainly played with his friends.

Picture that for hours, he didn't eat, barely sleeps and doesn't text his girlfriend back. He just plays all the time. I didn't understand why he wanted to be in a relationship, he literally didn't make time for one.

I guess you could say I have PTSD from that and it would be a deal breaker if I find out the guy is addicted to video games. If there is a healthy balance with playing and still making time for things then I'd be fine with it, but not someone who plays all day every day.

Plus there were several studies done on guys who are addicted to video games. This is only for men though I'm pretty sure. But when they play videogames, they are releasing so much dopamine thats on the level to having sex.

So that's why there are a lot of guys playing games all the time and not seeking a relationship. They are constantly releasing this dopamine and they have zero sex drives. They even have a hard time performing too.

That's honestly a concern, I wouldn't want that for something serious down the road. You can look up the studies if you want, sorry I have work and I won't be able to find them. But I'll post them when I come back.

NewYorkCity · Answer

If he/she has a job, lives by him/herself and basically able to stand on his/her own two feet, absolutely Not, in fact it is no where near to be a Red Flag. Playing video games is a hobby, just a different type of time consuming hobby. Some people enjoy restoring cars, some people enjoy brewing beer or wine, some people enjoy playing physical sports outside, this new generation 2023 and beyond has a new hobby and that is playing/streaming video games.

NathanDavis · Answer

well... this is how I see it

the day usually has 24 hours...

8 hours for sleep, 8 hours for work/studying... this should leave you with 8 hours time left for other things, meaning that... if the person would rather dedicate four hours to gaming (every day, or most days of the week) and then dedicate the same four hours (or less) to their partners... that would be a red flag to me in particular

if it is more than four hours gaming... but not a daily thing... I think it would be no issue

SkittleMayn · Answer

Depends on your standards. I know a lot of people who would be fine with a simple life of wake up, go to work, come back, play video games, repeat. I also know a lot of people who are ambitious and spend their free time learning new things or building something, like a business, on the side. I'm somewhere in between the two, and would prefer my partner to be the same. I think it's only a red flag if you think it is, and there are many people who like to play video games and will drop it immediately if you asked them to, and I also know many video game addicts who would sacrifice their relationship for a video game. The short answer is--it depends.

Androm · Answer

obviously this shows that he is not enjoying life. games are simple sources of dopamine. The fact that he plays a lot gives information about his daily life. Doing so drives me away.

FreyaRed · Answer

Yes. Lack of time for anyone and anything isn't even the biggest issue with those guys. That one I was together in the past liked to take risks and played with things he couldn't afford to lose. I was quite naive and thought he will never try to exploit me because he had my heart and my body, but he wanted my wallet too. He was a pretty boy and it was surprise for him as my infatuation disappeared in few days after 3,5 years and my decision to drift away from him was certain. Well, I could afford to lose him.

Lliam · Answer

Red flag. I would assume that they had no thoughts in their head, no ambition or goals. They just waste time on something that has no educational value and is not productive.
Go out and get some exercise for God's sake! LOL
That guy in the photo looks like a zombie. Is he drooling on himself?

LazerBean · Answer

That totally depends on how much of their time is "free time". Free time for one person may be an hour, and for another person it might be eight hours. We play games in our free time, but not a ridiculous amount.

melanieeeB · Answer

Huge amount? I see that as constantly in his freetime and yeah kinda it is, I would be thinking don't you have shit to do

A good amount and everything under? Like 1-2hr every few days and little more on the weekends... Yeah it's okay for me, I don't mind

AdithyaR · Answer

It would depend honestly. I play video a lot too but I do make time for things like doing chores in my house, going to gym and getting work done. I'd prefer the other to also have a similar time management system in place.
Otherwise any addiction is bad irrespective of the stimuli.

AmyHew1tt · Answer

f he doesn't have a job, I'd say it's a red flag, otherwise, it's just unattractive to me. But red flag or not, it would be a definite sign I wouldn't date him.

LovingJo · Answer

💯 🚩 For me, from personal experience.. And will never do it again!!

CreatingWonders · Answer

Been there done that. It is a big red flag so red it glows like fire.

They were so interested in that stupid game and bullying little kids online that they never had time for me.

There wasn’t much conversation as they were always on that game, and I eventually just gave up trying as I really didn’t find the point anymore.

JosyJosy · Answer

I think it's a red flag if you don't game, yourself. I grew up with games, so did my boyfriend. We usually play the same games, we can talk about the games we share and don't share. I watch him play it, he watches me, we play together, ... life's good!

For us that's "dating", and we live in the city, it's easy to just head out and grab something to eat. It can be a red flag to many people, but not to me.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

I also play a huge amount of video games in my spare time so no

MzAsh · Answer

Yes. Its ruined the lives and marriages of my friends and family. Anything more than a couple hours a day, is too much in my book.

abc3643 · Answer

Unless they play video games for pay like being a professional player in E-sports or being a game designer, then, yes, it is a red flag. I've seen relationships and friendships end because of it.

Alessa13 · Answer

It would only be an issue if I did not game but I love a man that will game with me, its the best. We can find things to do together, now if that is ALL he wants to do then it might become an issue.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Nah. I don’t get why gaming gets such a bad rep. It’s no different than doing any other hobby in your free time

worldscolide · Answer

The fact that my wife is a gamer brings us closer together.. We have a massive shared interest.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I would never be with a gamer. Anyone who spends that much time holding a controller and staring at a TV screen has some real issues.

Anonymous · Answer

If he has no other hobbies, friends etc. then obviously yeah it's bad. It's an addiction and all kinds of addiction aren't healthy (spending a lot of time on social media, gambling, drinking etc)

Pacquet · Answer

I think for a lot of non-gamer women video games are associated with undesirable behavior. Hobbies shouldn’t be indicative of a red flag, one should look for actual behaviors but we’re not taught this stuff so we make snap judgements about people based on arbitrary stuff like music and tv. We should be looking out for things like how does this person handle pressure, how do they treat strangers, are they reliable, etc.

es20490446e · Answer

I like video-games a lot. Yet I rarely play them, simply because I have more appealing things to do. So it is a red flag because it means your life is rather unappealing.

msc545 · Answer

If all the person does is to play video games in their spare time and doesn't use their spare time for anything else then that is a concern. I would not call it a red flag necessarily but certainly a concern.

007kingifrit · Answer

no not at all. some girls just have no hobbies

Anonymous · Answer

I've always found girls who play video games as #1 on my list. That said unless you like the outdoorsy and athletic type gaming is far better than what most people do as couch potatos.

Pyrofox · Answer

I'd be like cool then 1v1 me bruh. And watch them sweat XD.

Vcent · Answer

Playing video games is a hobby just like playing guitar, golf or football in your spare time. But it can definitely be a red flag if it is on a like manic level and all their spare time goes to their hobby and maybe even affect their work etc…

Shark_61695 · Answer

I find just sitting and watching TV dull, I need to be doing something and playing a game gives me that.

Wade12345 · Answer

My video game playing days are mostly over. I would play no more than one or two coop games on Starcraft 2 now and only once every couple days. I haven't even played a video game in over 2 weeks as it is.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yup, they would have no time for me

lottiebannotie · Answer

I don't see how it's a red flag if you know someone is a gamer and you're not into don't date them no need to brand them

Mangospacho · Answer

Not if it’s in their spare time. If it’s instead of work or any social life, then it can be a problem.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I haven't played video games since I was a teenager at my friend's house. I thought adults grew out of that

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

What does it matter if the person is playing video games or bench watching Netflix? For me! This discussion is terminated in less than 3 minutes, period.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

No. It's a fun hobby and activity. That'd be like worrying about your partner doing coloring books. As long as people take care of themselves, that's what matters.

Anemone978 · Answer

Yes my husband does and he ignores me the whole time he plays... sometime he would play three days and do nothing but go to the washroom and want food...

Redstang88 · Answer

It’s not a red flag, it’s just not likely a girl I’d be interested in dating.

Tomisworthless · Answer

I play a lot of video games, only thing I’m good at in life. And nobody likes me so it’s a good escape from my reality of a shit given life

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

I feel like I may do that sometimes. I usually play two hours a day but sometimes play six.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I'm not much of a gamer, myself, so that would be a turnoff to me. Not because I have anything against gamers; it's just not an element of culture I particularly interface with.

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

Yes, a lot of that time could be used for improving many areas of a person's life. I love Video Games and could play them a lot more then I do, but I've found I feel worse afterwards because a lot of that time can be put to much better use.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I view video games like TV. It's really nothing more than entertainment. It's really only a problem when they play so much that they don't take care of themselves because they spend that time gaming.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't care as long as they don't care I've only tried like 6 times.

Anonymous · Answer

Gaming is a hobby?

Babygirl_S · Answer

Not at all even though I'm not into video games.

CubsterShura · Answer

It's all about the balance, ultimately.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Of course not there not harming anyone and it has being shown many benefits for people who game

Cheaterssuck · Answer

If they're home playing video games that means they're not out running around on you.

Guardian45 · Answer

Would NOT happen with me!

petitedollbabee · Answer

Not at all. It’s a green flag.

slatyb · Answer

Is that all they do? Why would they want to date?

Crankor · Answer

Depends on what your expecting from that person

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Not at all. I've been there, done that.

robocop666 · Answer

no I do that and its fine

Is it a RED FLAG to find out the person you are interested in plays a huge amount of video games in their spare time?

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