Am I overthinking his transparency or is he being clear and I'm just dumb?

[plumflower]

I've been talking to a guy for four months and things seem to be going well. We spend a lot of time together given that it's an ldr. Neither of us wants to rush things but on my end, I know that I am falling for him. Last night we talked and he expressed that right now he has things in his life that he needs to figure out, with bills and job security being at the top of the list. He likes where we are and doesn't want things to change but cannot give moe commitment because he is unstable and does not see a future with me right now. I asked if I could stay for as long as I wanted

Am I being a fool because I do want to be with him? Or is this one of those moments that defines a relationship? make it or break it? We aren't official but there are no other people that we spend time with. It's just that he is busy and life is chaotic. However, I have spent 5 years building a man up just to see him walk away from me as if I was utter trash and I'm scared of that. I know that there's no guarantee here either but I truly feel that if I walk away I miss out on a great man. But of course, I have my fears and am afraid that he's being transparent but I cannot see it

[dynamicyandere]

It depends on what he means by commitment. Does he mean committing more time? Or does he mean commitment as in committing to building a future together?


That’s a complete game changer of a difference.


I’ve been working and busy and I juggled an LDR before while working crazy hours before finally moving in together.


We were LDR for 4 years before moving in together.


I worked long hours but always made sure I cut out 1-2 hours to spend time together.


Even if it meant I had to wake up early at 4am to start my day early to make it work.


I was and still am VERY committed to the relationship. It’s just time can be tight, and I can’t commit a lot of time sometimes. But I do what I can.


So the question is, what does he mean by commitment?


If it’s purely just time, that’s understandable.


If he means commitment as the depth, commitment to the future of the relationship, commitment to being with you for the long haul, to get married or something, if he means THAT… That’s a different story and it would be best to part ways if he doesn’t see a future together with you.


So, you two need a serious talk to find out what he means, and whether or not he sees a long term future together with you, whether he sees himself starting a family with you in the future, etc.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you may be feeling uncertain and anxious about the situation with the guy you've been talking to. It's important to listen to your own feelings and intuition, and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and expectations.

It sounds like your partner has been clear and honest with you about his priorities and his current level of commitment. It's important to respect his boundaries and decisions, and to focus on building a strong and healthy relationship based on trust and mutual respect.

However, it's also important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and to consider what you want and need in a relationship. If you feel that you are not getting the level of commitment or security that you need, it may be helpful to have a honest and respectful conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns.

Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship or walk away is up to you, and should be based on your own values, needs, and feelings. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, while also respecting their boundaries and decisions.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Just ride it out and see what happens. That's what I do. Try not to invest too much into the relationship unless he is, and you'll be fine

[Iron_Man]

Ask him if he is serious about you in the future and how long is it going to take him?

[Anonymous]

If you are in a LDR you are already wasting your time.

[In_Trance]

You lost me at LDR