Am I being led on?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this Woman since early January, right off the start our chemistry was perfect together. Great conversations, physical touch, laughs. When we first met she was just getting out of a recent relationship but they are still friends. We both agreed to take things slow and we were not seeing other people.

Texting hasn't been the greatest with her at times and I will often not hear from her for hours. However when we meet in person we have great conversations and dates (normally see each other 2-3 times a week). Recently I have fallen in love with her, and she has expressed how she really cares for me. So I brought up about if she was ready to be exclusive and she said she still wants to take things slow and work on herself so she can fully be herself in this relationship. Thanked me for being patient with her and again said how much she really cares for me.

My question is, how much longer should I wait? Am I being lead on? I feel she's being honest but then there's times I have doubts.

[PrettyPriya]

No, you are not being led on. I think that she has made it perfectly clear that she wants to take things slow. You agreed and respected her wishes. Why would you consider that being led on? Also, from your details, things seem to be going well.

The only negative you mention is a delay in text messages. People get busy. Others are not into texting. The important thing is that when you are together, you have good conversations. Everything else you mention seem like positive experiences with her.

So, if you are basing the feeling of vein g led on solely because of slow text responses, I don’t think you have a thing to worry about.

The one thing that jumps out to me is how you mention that she said she wants to work on herself to be able to be fully committed to the relationship. That is not leading someone on. That is being honest with you and herself.

[Asker]

The only negative thing I find myself falling on is she might not be ready because of her ex? They're still friends and she said she does still see him sometimes. But she was honest about it. The texting thing I'm getting use to, not hearing from her for hours. I guess I let my friends get it in my head that she's leading me on because she won't commit and its been 5 months almost

[PrettyPriya]

If she is getting over a relationship, that could be the reason. She may just not want to jump back into one right away. Moving on takes time and everyone is different.

[aoihewgf]

You should move on... 5 months? Please.. no girl would wait that long unless she happy just as things are and doesn't want anything to change in the foreseeable future

[PrettyPriya]

@aoihewgf how your opinion changes in the matter of minutes.

[PrettyPriya]

Just so anyone reading this can understand, the user that replied to me posted this opinion:

“Either she being truthful or she still dating the "ex". Don't rush to jump in. Study her more”

And then said:

“You should move on... 5 months? Please.. no girl would wait that long unless she happy just as things are and doesn't want anything to change in the foreseeable future”

Hmm. This was posted 3 minutes apart. Quite a change of heart, eh?

[aoihewgf]

yes, the change was due to me not realizing that he had invested 5 months already when i was writing the first comment

[sunflower00]

I don’t think you’re being led on. She has said she wants to take things slow and is just out of a relationship.


For the sake of the other person you usually want to work on yourself and fully being prepared before jumping into another relationship. You don’t want to still have underlying feelings for someone else, you want to feel confident in yourself, mentally ready and well/healthy before committing again. 5 months isn’t really overly long in my opinion and if you’re ok with waiting then why not? You’re still speaking to her, just making sure you’re both ready and comfortable.


Also, the not texting for a few hours thing is probably normal too! People get busy, have work and other commitments and some people just don’t use their phone or text that much! I wouldn’t worry. It sounds like you guys are getting on really well and if you really like her I’d just keep taking things slow and in the right direction!

[aoihewgf]

Either she being truthful or she still dating the "ex". Don't rush to jump in. Study her more

[Avicenna]

I don't think you're being lead on. Try to figure out why she isn't as ready as you are.

[Asker]

Any time I ask she says she's trying to get her feet back on the ground and wants to take things slow

[EpicSnail]

Sounds ominous to me, but then again, I am a huge pessimist when it comes to relationships and women.

[Iron_Man]

Talking is key

[In_Trance]

I think so