The dating scene is a dunpster fire - change my mind?

[Gent207-2]

Excluding the obvious toxic and abusive assholes the dating scene is a dumpster fire

I had no idea just how bad the dating scene was until a friend told me about her refusal to continue to date a man all because he had the COVID vaccine.

The guy was an absolute 10 both in looks and personality. Their political and religious views were different enough for wiggle room on all issues except for one: The COVID vaccine.

Personally I don't give a shit whether you are vaccinated or not, you do you. BUT to walk away from someone whom you have great chemistry with and is a good person overall is just stupid.

Yes there are things in marriage and dating that has no room for compromise on i. e., kids - yes or no. But to have agreement in the vast majority of areas and issues except for one that is the LEAST important issue out there is just stupid.

Other things I've seen 2 good people split from: how to fold the laundry, how to squeeze a tube of toothepaste, how to brush one's teeth including flossing, TP placement, how to drive safely and my personal favorite: parallel parking.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why should any other guy try to change your opinion? That just increases the competition. If you don't want to date, that doesn't hurt anyone other than you.

[Gent207-2]

Do you even Meme?
I stole the eye-catching phrase from a meme, relax

[RavVid]

I agree with you.

Probably good they did split on these trivial matters. Relationships require compromise and your examples show little willingness for that.

One girl told me she had been taught at uni that compromise meant you lose. Well she lost me.

Could you spill all the dirty details on your friends fight on parallel parking? I just can't even see how you fight over it - that's the bit that interests me.

[arodriguez664]

I feel like people are less likely to compromise and more people are buying into the idea that there is a perfect partner. in my opinion perfect partners don't exist. The goal should be to find someone who accepts you as you are and you accept them as they are.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@arodriguez664 You just contradicted yourself.

"in my opinion perfect partners don't exist"
"The goal should be to find someone who accepts you as you are and you accept them as they are."

The only people who will ever accept you for who you are, are people just like you, ie perfect matches. In fact that is the entire point of finding a perfect partner.

Perfect is subjective, but it does exist. It's just your brain in another person's body, and there are tons of those, but because thats true for everyone, they are all hard to find.

[arodriguez664]

@TheSpaceGnome your argument doesn't make sense to me. If someone accepts you and your flaws that doesn't make them perfect or just like you. Just makes them open minded and willing to compromise 🤷 perfection is subjective I'll agree with you on that. My definition is something without flaws would be perfect

[TheSpaceGnome]

It doesn't make sense to you because you are stuck on your own viewpoint.
You gotta think outside your perspective.

"Accepting you as you are" is not "accepting you and your flaws"
The right match sees no flaws, they see a mirror for the mind, they see themselves in you.

Lets say a person says your antisocial behavior is a flaw because of how they view it impacting your success in life, meanwhile another person may nod their head and go: "yeah, me too, most people are stupid and I don't like being around them either".

I don't have any flaws, I have differences. I want to be with a woman who has those same differences, because everyone else is way too annoying to be around.

[rosemilk]

this is why being vaccinated, your political stance, or religion should not be discussed with anyone but yourself. and yes i would agree the dating world must be pretty shitty right now and i'm so glad i don't ever have to deal with that again.

[NamerOfStars]

My favorite is arguing about how to load the dishwasher. I knew a couple that were threatening to divorce over that, and it was so stupid that I broke from my usual policy and... intervened. They ended up splitting up anyway, but under better- or at least saner- terms.

Ultimately, no one seems willing to compromise anymore. Either they don't take marriage seriously, and view it as an unimportant, frivolous thing, or they require absolute lockstep alignment in all things.

[SaoirseS]

I won’t try to change your mind, I probably couldn’t anyway. I dated a guy who seemed to have a black cloud that followed him everywhere early on. But I ended up marrying him. Nobody else could provide me with hilarious adventures and stories to tell.

[asphaltrhymes]

Yeah but... there's so many millions, billions more people out there.
Thankfully there's a world of choice these days like brands. Don't like one, move to the next. 😁

[Gent207-2]

And that's how we got here and my point entirely - nobody wins, everybody loses. But with compromises both sides win enough to be equally-partially satisfied.

[asphaltrhymes]

And the last sentence is we're all the offspring of those exact things... sometime close enough is good enough, I mean I know I'm no 10/10 with the ladies

[asphaltrhymes]

Have a nice day, cya ☺️👋🏻

[inhua]

it's been a dumpster fire for decades. people are only just starting to tell their experiences

[TheSpaceGnome]

Healthcare is not unimportant. People have to share the same views to get along. If people waited for the perfect match, instead of settling, they would be better off.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Well, like all dumpster fires, at least it's contained!


(I don't even know what I mean by that, but it seemed like a profound thing to say)

[Msputiton]

Lawd not another, change my mind question.

I don't care enough to change your mind.

Your opinion is yours.✌🏾

[NathanDavis]

keep your mind...

I never had problems with it myself

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Oh Shit! A Dumpster Fire, hahaha! I thought it was a cesspool.

[Nikki1989]

No one I know seems to have a problem with it.

[Juxtapose]

People are on these stupid machines too much and don't develop any real life social skills.

[Gent207-2]

Says the hypocrite

[Juxtapose]

I visit my friends almost every day and get out of my house regularly. Shows what you know 😆😏

[Gent207-2]

Criticizing people for using the same technology while doing the same =hypocrite

[Juxtapose]

I specifically criticized them for using technology too much. Are you brain dead?

[LiamJHayden]

Parts of it are, just like the marriage of the guy who made "Change My Mind." famous.

[Reorx]

I would mostly agree if it wasn't for the rural Babtist church socials I go to. Many happy couples that seem to stay together & have families.

[nawtee_me]

It is you right to feel how you like. I don’t need to change it for you.