Are there abstinent girls out there? How do I find compatible girls to me?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

I (21M) want to start dating soon, but when I look at the people around me I feel like I'm incompatible with everyone.

I want a slow-burn relationship where we take our time getting to know each other and start out as friends. Over time, we could start adding romantic activities to the list like cute waltzes, picnics in the park, romantic movies, crêpes at a café, and a motherlode of other things to fit our personality. But importantly, we wouldn't add on a sexual component for a couple years, until we were ready to commit to each other for life and get married.

I don't know anyone who cares about that stuff. It feels like the past 10+ years of social changes have kind-of killed that off in our society. I'm not religious, but chastity and sexual modesty are important to me (both in myself and in a partner). Do girls like that even exist anymore though?

I'm an American going to school in Massachusetts if that makes a difference.

It just feels kind-of hopeless, which makes me not even want to get out there.

[jennifer_bloom]

The reason I'm abstinent is because the bible says when you sleep around you cheapen your soul and I don't want to reduce my heavenly rewards. It has nothing to do with hating sex, I just have to wait til marriage.

[LazerBean]

They do exist. But you're going to have a really hard time finding one that is non-religious, and even a harder time finding one that is non-religious and living in a blue state.

[Asker]

What about places like Chicago and New York? I'm applying to graduate school soon. Do you really have to head south to places like Nashville for that sort of thing do you think?

[LazerBean]

Those places are blue, too. And to have any chance of success yeah pretty much.

[Asker]

Ah, I see. I'll need to give Vanderbilt more consideration then.

Also, do you think my being agnostic would be a deal-breaker for most religious folks like that? I actually have a pretty high opinion of Christianity and live by most Christian ethics; it's just my philosophical skepticism that stops me from actually being one. I don't go to church because I feel like it'd be disingenuous given that.

[LazerBean]

It would likely be a deal breaker for most Christians who are devout enough to wait for marriage.

[Asker]

Figures. Well thanks for your responses!

[LazerBean]

Np 👍🏻

[springxxx]

Yes, they do exist. I'm one of them. Good luck in finding one. Try to meet new people, I can guarantee there are more out there

[Asker]

Where can you find people like that?

[In_Trance]

Go to Church

[Asker]

That might be a little disingenuous as an agnostic.

[In_Trance]

Depends how bad you want a girl like this

[Asker]

If I'm lying to get her, surely it's not going to lead to an authentic and deep relationship though, which kind-of defeats the point.