What the h*ll did he just ask me? seriously?

[Anonymous]

What the f***. I went on two amazing dates with this guy I thought was amazing. We have been texting for 2 weeks but still can’t get over this. I only met him twice. And he just asked my body count. I told him what happened before we met doesn’t matter and made it clear I was upset he asked me. I felt it would seem the number is high if I didn’t tell him so I told him to tell me first and he did so I took his number (9) and said well my answer is less than 9. But even after making it clear that made me upset he then says, “If we were to have sex would you wanna be in a relationship first? Keep in mind I'm in no rush to be official”. I told him I do not want to be official for awhile on our last date so that’s why he’s saying that. But I can tell this guy is rushing things and wants to be official as soon as possible. I did not answer that and told him I’m going to bed. He apologized for asking and said he hopes we can move past this. But like what the h***. Obviously, now because of this bizarre question I think his motive is to just get in a relationship with me to f*** and then probably leave. On our dates, I haven’t been very touchy with him and have told him to take it slow and he said he would so clearly he knows he has no chance of that now. How does someone go from this fabulous guy to major do*che b** in 2 seconds? Well now you know. Any thoughts on this? Am I wrong for being upset? I’m thinking about cutting him off after this.

[Lliam]

After 2 dates, he seems to be in a rush to get some kind of commitment from you. He's stupid for not just having more pleasant dates and letting things develop naturally.

It doesn't sound like he cares if you are in an "official" relationship or not. He's just trying to get into your pants. He would be willing to say it's official just to fuck you, but could you trust him to actually be committed?

Does he admire and respect you? It doesn't sound like it in light of having ignored what you had previously told him.
Does he actually want an exclusive, long-term relationship? If he did, he would have done a better job of gauging your feelings before asking leading questions about sex, ESPECIALLY your body count.

I tend to think that he is young, horny and inept with women, and probably doesn't respect them much.

[DextroShade]

You are only upset because you are ashamed of the number; if you were a virgin or only had sex with one guy you wouldn't have been bothered much by this question. Men and women look for different things in a partner: women want a man who is strong and successful while men want a woman who is pretty and not a hoe. I'm sure you asked him about his career or financial situation at some point and he didn't get offended. Just as you don't want a bum he doesn't want a hoe. We are all entitled to our preferences.

[kylee2437]

He obviously just wants to have sex and he asked the second question to see if you are going to make him go through trouble of getting sex from you because that’s all he wants from this situation.

[Asker]

Literally he has sworn up and down that’s not what he wants but he’s showing otherwise. Should I say anything to him or just ghost? F*** that

[kylee2437]

@asker actions speak louder than words. Men love talking because they know women tend to listen to words more than actions. View his actions as his real intentions. Tell him that you appreciate the two dates, but seems like you two are looking for two different things and you wish him luck. Do not let him rationalize anything

[DarkWinterNights]

For some guys it’s a make or break deal. It’s not uncommon for people to have triple digits these days and personally I would want to know, I might wait a little longer to ask, try to suss it out through other less obvious questions. But maybe he was just trying to get it out of the way. I could be wrong, but I don’t think most guys would be worried about going through the work getting into an “official” relationship just to sleep with and then dump a girl, unless they’re psychos doing it for an ego trip.

[Asker]

Well I guess I mean get into a relationship just for sex

[RespectfulGuy]

If he's about your age, then in 6 years, he had 9 relationships.

This means in average, a new girl about 8 months.

I wonder if your time is about up? You answer. 😭

[chilldude33]

I mean being insecure about other's bodycount only makes sense if yours is 0. Maybe he is lying about his? Anyways he fumbled the bag with weird questions.