Do you think that guys should pay for dates and not split the bill?

[Reem12345reem]

On the first date I think we should split the bill , but after that , if he decides he wants to continue with me then he should pay the bill himself , plus I think when u split the bill with guys they won't be serious about u bc they didn't put effort in it , like why would they waste the money for nothing in the end? Im not saying that guys who pay the bills are always serious but if get him to spend more money on u he'd be more likely to be serious

Updates

9 mo

in other words , if u get him to put more effort in u , he'll most likely to be more serious with u

[Alli39]

I generally think splitting the bill one the first date is better. If you keep meeting after that then probably switching off who pays or continuing to split would be ideal. I don't like the idea of a getting to know someone introducing a potential financial burden for one person or the other. If he really wants to pay for some reason then I'd probably let him to be polite, but otherwise, I'm never going to suggest it. My other rule is whoever invites should at least offer to pay, whether it's the man or the woman.

I wouldn't count of money put into a relationship as an actual signifier of effort. Focus on things like whether or not he makes time for you or if he's doing things for you of his own accord. That's real effort.

[Randomnamek]

"I wouldn't count of money put into a relationship as an actual signifier of effort." This is definitely a common view in woman where they value time, energy and attention more but in my opinion it's mostly when they with someone with money. If they aren't, then i believe women assign it's value ia lot greater.

[Pinay_ako]

Nah I don’t think guys should always pay for the bill during a date as it takes two to a relationship if we both want it. Why should he put more effort when I could put the same so he can also think I’m serious to be with him as he is with me?

[RingOfFire]

It's way too complicated these days. Men like women who look good and enjoy being feminine and good mothers. Women like men who can take care of and protect them and a family and bring home the Woolly Mammoth meat. That's been the natural state of human relationships between men and women throughout millions of years of evolution. Why this sudden fight against nature in the latest fraction of a second tick on the evolutionary clock? It causes so much unnecessary angst. So yes, men should pay the bill on a date... EVERY date. That's his job.

The problems happen when people somehow think it is bad for them to live in sync with their natural evolutionary physiological design.

[BadApple69]

I am old fashion. I always pay the bill. And honestly it has nothing to do with how serious or not serious I am. I have always made good money and what is the cost of a meal? Not much.
And from my prospective (probably not all guys) me buying your meal does NOT mean you now own me something…. Other then maybe a “thank you”.


Again… I’m old fashioned and younger guys might think differently.

[coachTanthony]

women need to start chasing us down and paying for EVERYTHING lol

[PrettyCrumblBb]

You want to be treated like a lady?

[coachTanthony]

@PrettyCrumblBb Yes pay for my meals and rub my feet

[madhatters4]

i think splitting should be the first date scenario. that said i am a person who doesn't mind paying for dinner regardless if it is a friend, date, or whatever.

but the standard should be splitting. there is zero reason why when two strangers meet up that one is expected to pay

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, if she expects me to pay for her half on anything, I'm ending it. it's getting split or it's not happening.

If you want a guy to be serious about you, don't be a gold digger.

And if you think a person needs to foot the whole bill to be motivated to take someone seriously, then you would be stuck with the problem that you both can't foot the whole bill, so by your logic, one of you definitely won't take the other seriously.

You can't apply it to him but not yourself. If you can be serious about him when you aren't paying, so can he.

[Glyn54]

I like to pay but I am more than happy to split the bill or I pay this time and they pay the next time.
My last girlfriend said that we should open a joint bank account and each put the same amount of money in it each week and then use that moneey whenever we do things together. We didn't end up doing it but I thought it was an excellent idea.
If I go out with a woman several times and she never offers to pay - I usually stop going out with hewr unless I know that she can't afford it.

[PrincessBunBuns]

i prefer to split or have the guy pay. its a really good indicator of who the guy is and what theyre looking for. the nicest guys have paid for me, and the shittiest guys let me pay when i offer.


dont be a 🤡 and let the man pay for you. after all, we make 75c to their dollar.

[Jhunitor]

Because you make a third of the effort men make

[PrincessBunBuns]

i personally do not. im willing to invest if you are, but sometimes men dont make that effort. everything is reflective in their actions, men and womens.

[Rei13]

The guy should always offer to pay the bill. Generally, back when I was still single, if I liked the guy I let him pay for me but if I’m not feeling the date I prefer to pay for myself. The way I see it is if he someone I want to go forward with then ultimately I do want a provider. However if it was someone I wasn’t interested in I wouldn’t let him pay because I don’t want to feel obligated to that person in any way.

[slatyb]

If I ask a woman out, I'm happy to pay, and I try to make it clear during the conversation that I'm not expecting anything beyond the conversation. If she insists on paying half I will let her. If we're going to see each other again, I'll just tell her I don't like keeping score and I don't like splitting checks.

[Sharkstealth]

I've been on numerous dates where the only thing the girl was interested in was getting something for free. I've also been interested in girls who will only agree to go out with me if something is higher end. Even though I can afford that I didn't take her and blocked her from further conversation.

So yes I do like the idea of splitting the bill. The first girl I ever asked out was in college. We were in math together and I came up with the idea of a bit of friendly competition. Whoever scored the highest grade on the final the other would take out. I won and she never spoke to me again.

[Drumlin2001]

Why are the only two options for him to pay or split? Surely in the age of feminism women can pick up the bill too?
I was always happy to pay, but would split if it was mentioned. Wasn't worth an argument over something that I was happy with either way

[WilmaReportu]

Listen up, you misguided advocate for gender equality! How dare you suggest that women should have the audacity to pick up the bill or split it? In the age of feminism, you say? Oh, how delightfully naive!

Prepare yourself, for the wrath of WilmaReportu is about to rain down upon you like a tempest of righteous fury. I shall report your audacious sentiments to every corner of the internet, ensuring that your blasphemous thoughts are exposed for all to see. Your reputation shall crumble under the weight of my relentless crusade.

But that's not all, my dear advocate of splitting bills! I shall gather an army of traditionalists who believe in upholding archaic gender roles. Together, we will march forward, ensuring that the burden of payment rests solely on the shoulders of the male counterpart.

Oh, and let's not forget about the consequences, you misguided champion of personal preference! I will make it my mission to ensure that your name is synonymous with betrayal and dissent. Your social circles shall shun you for daring to question the sacred ritual of bill payment.

So, savor the impending doom, you equality-loving fool! WilmaReportu is coming for you, armed with threats and a disdain for your progressive views. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight, for it shall be a lesson in the consequences of challenging societal norms.

Remember, my dear interlocutor, it's all just a joke... just like your notions of equality. Farewell, Romeo.

[Drumlin2001]

Bless you.
Are you a fan of the Rock? Don't really know anyone who refers to themselves in the third person.
I do feel rather privileged that you don't seem to have your own opinion on the question, and no response for anyone else. Makes me feel special.

[Wonderingguyy]

Well that’s very one sided… if you don’t pay in the future the guy could think the same about you, that you’re not serious! I think it’s nice to be a gentleman and pay fully every so often but generally both partners being equal in the relationship would be the best and healthiest situation.

[Anno2]

If I ask a girl out I will pay the bill even if she insists.

If we just hang out and get something to eat I would split the bill.

Why do you consider guys spending money on you serious? Latent hookers trade sex for handbags instead of cash, just a way around the system when it's illegal to pay money for sex

[Reem12345reem]

Bc if he puts more effort he'll most likely want to be serious

[Anno2]

Effort doesn't equal money

[LiamJHayden]

If we are complete strangers I never go all out but instead keep it super casual, just in case we just don't click. A coffee and a pastry are not going to break my bank, so I am fine with picking up the tab on that. If we do click and I ask for a real date, I will pay for that. Not because I'm traditional or anything, but I will be choosing the place and I have no way of knowing if where I want to go is within her budget.

[236color]

Whoever asks, pays. If the asked offers to split the bill, or pay it outright, that's negotiable. If I asked and she wanted to split the cost, I'd figure the date wasn't going well. I could be wrong, but that would be my assumption.

[Randomnamek]

I think whoever asked the other on the 1st date should if there were no cultural expectations. I do believe the the other person should offer to pay their portion, and as us customary they should be thanked and told 'I got it'.

With that being said, I think the man should pay for both anyways since he either will be given the check at a sit down restaurant, or he will be ahead of the chick in the line at some other type of place.

[exitseven]

I used to pay all the time. The only time I didn't was when I had a long distance relationship and the deal was that which one of us shelled out a big pile of money for airfare didn't have to pay for anything else the rest of the week.

[Chickyniki]

I always go in with the split mentality- even if the end of the day he ditched me I would still have money to cover what I ate. And if he offers to pay in full, I always reply but then I get next time. Most of my dates refuse to let me pay so when they asked me where I want to go, I always try to keep it very humble and very affordable.

[Anonymous]

Men go on too many dates, so they complain it’s costing too much money.
Perhaps guys should stop dating and start getting into a relationship.
Either way I’m not gonna pay for a date when all these men are serial dating. Plus I don’t go on dates like it’s my hobby. I don’t go on any because guys are exhausting and don’t bring a dang thing to the table. I work hard and pay for all my sh*t so I’m not sure why a guy would have any purpose in my life

[jshm2]

Depends on date and quality. But it's whoever initiates the date that should pay.

To be fair, if you're squabbling over the bill after a date, it's not going to work out anyway.

[Unit1]

I don't want a girl, that qualifies me "solely" on me paying for her. Therefore I prefer to split the bill in the initial phase.

There are prostitutes being more honest and down to business like that.

[Jhunitor]

Why would I put effort into a woman who doesn't put effort then? Since they don't pay for anything women have taken the habit to not date seriously, go on date like "at least it is a free meal".