How many of you think it's a good idea to just chat for weeks, just to get to know each other, before meeting IRL?

[DaveJord]

I really just got to know the results of this pole?

Ladies, yes it's a must! 👍 Why?

Ladies, week or two max, preferably soon. 👍 Why?

Ladies, nope. 👎 Why?

Guys, yes it's a must. 👍 why?

Guys, week or two max, preferably soon. 👍 Why?

Ladies, nope. 👎 Why?

Updates

+1 y

Very last option nope that's guys... at bott9m says ladies bit it's for guy

[Peter_Penetrator]

Why waste too much of your time on someone who is misrepresenting themselves.


Until you meet IRL, you are missing out on a person’s body language which can covertly send out red flags. Then you have the issues with either of you not meeting the physical requirements you are seeking.


Someone will say that just from texting with the other online that this person meets all the personality requirements only to find out in person they have a lazy eye and a hump on their shoulder blade.


On the other hand, if both individuals check off all the personality, physical and mental requirements, the two of you can then step up the relationship to a higher notch.


Nothing beats flirting in person to get the juices flowing and following up by passing go and collecting $200.

[DaveJord]

100%

[Anonymous]

Terrible idea. The only point of chatting is to set up an in person meet. Otherwise it's a complete waste of time.

[midnightmoon05]

I had my 3 step rules when I was single.

1-2 weeks.
I met my ex hubby on match years ago.
1. they say hi…we emailed each other within a day or 2. Then text…then call. Within a week.
2. the phone call/interview gives me a lot of info if I would want to meet in person the following weekend.
3. 2nd week - meet in person. I will know immediately in person if There is chemistry.

I don’t like to waste my time and others. I don’t like to text. I make quick decisions bexause I know what I want. but always friendly and pleasant.

[DaveJord]

Thank you @midnightmoon05 this 100% my method almost word for word, and exactly what 90% of mrn online would appreciate in a woman. The texts leading to phone conversation to meeting in person... and ladies if are so wired tight into your lives that you can't make ti, e to meet for quick lunch , drinks or coffee within or at commit to plans to meet 8n 2 to no more than 3 week period.

Then you are serious about dating. It's refreshing to see a actual woman post this! Thanks!

[lightbulb27]

She's not typical though as she has common sense and lacks fear. So many lack common sense and have a lot of fear.
So you'll be texting your way through their emotional protective shield... dying like Jedi's in a Star Wars nightmare...

[DaveJord]

@lightbulb27 I love the start wars analogy! Well in dating we all are tempted by the dark side... so lets ride the drama train! :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Where’s the option to just meet people IRL period without it starting online or on a dating site? Cuz that would be the option I’d choose

[DaveJord]

I am not sure if that exists any more.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

It does for those that course that route

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*choose

[DaveJord]

I am sure it does, I live in rural area, so my options are too limited.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You don’t have a grocery store, or ever have any town events? Etc, etc…”

[DaveJord]

Small town like 200 people, I moved her for the peace and quiet! :'( Mission accomplished! :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Guess so lol

[OlderAndWiser]

Texting or even talking on the phone is a poor substitute for meeting in person. You can talk for months and then finally meet, only to discover that you feel no chemistry with her. Meet her as soon as she is comfortable enough to do that, take the chemistry test, and either keep going or start looking for somebody else. . . but stop wasting time!

[coachTanthony]

Not a great idea because it will just fizzle out before you even meet.

[DaveJord]

100% my point, I have done this thing where we text and text then we meet and literally have nothing to talk about, but if we had saved some of that for in person the conversations would have branched out in in different directions. And we would have connected on a more intimate level, instead of the impersonal text.

[AviatorTom]

Texting and talking a few tines to learn the basics s out each ither is okay, but the main goal should be to arrange a meeting. And that shouldn't take more than a week, two weeks max.

[Fireguy17]

I like to get some of the basics out of the way, their interests, are we even compatible, what they are looking for as far as relationships go, but meeting in person is still better.

You can see how they interact, body language, get to see more of the real person.

We all are on our best behavior when we meet, you choose foods that won't drip all over your first date shirt, you wouldn't burp or fart...

It's easy to reply to a computer screen, you get to carefully script your reply, redo the parts that you don't like and rewrite it.

With in person you don't get to do that.

Once it's out there it's out there, and you get to see how they interact with others.

[ShadezMcgee]

That is a quick way as a guy to wind up in the friend zone. You don't ha e a big window to show interest by asking a woman on a date and show intent. If you don't ask her out soon and delay with just talking for weeks, you will only be a friend.

[DaveJord]

100% and if the guy asks and you as the woman delay or stall... that window starts to close.

[demonics]

Been there done that. She's bored and you're her entertainment. They admit it themselves. "I have a boyfriend, I'm not here to meet anyone." BTCH WHY ARE YOU ON A DATING APP THEN! And THEN, they're listed as "single." It says I'm single but I don't know how to change it tee hee hee!"

[DaveJord]

I have been there done that.

[Anonymous]

I let her decide the pace so to speak. You can kind of tell when a conversation is progressing to meeting and when she is apprehensive.

I've had women type 3 sentences and want to meet. I've also had women want to talk for a couple of weeks.

I reject the notion that there has to be a time limit on something. If I feel like the conversation has lost it's momentum I'll suggest we meet and if she doesn't want to then she'll get pushed to the back burner.

The important thing to understand is everyone's time is important. I'm not going to waste hers. She can ask me where my heads at at anytime I'll shoot her straight. But I deserve the same respect.

[DaveJord]

100% respect people's time. You want to text for weeks, fine let's meet first and decide that? No need wasting anyone's time.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I just look at it a bit differently. When you go out on a date you're generally NOT talking to other women.😆 Online though it's just accepted that you can be talking to multiple people at once. It's up to her if she wants to talk to me for wma few weeks. But she might find when she's finally ready to meet that some other woman got to me first and wanted to meet with me right away.

[DaveJord]

Yeah... your 100% right. So if you not someone she's looking to meet right away... then your the fall back guy after she eliminated all the others. But here's the deal, there's always going to be another guy ready and willing on line for her. So you just getting strung along from one excuse to another. Your honestly just her pen pal... I think I will call it text zone buddy. It's like being friend zoned.

[whirled_up_girl]

Well I don't do the dating app thing but yeah I would say at least two weeks. I would like to know something about the person I plan to meet in person and maybe try to figure out if they are catfish or not. It seems that's what most of my friends did that tried dating apps.

[DaveJord]

@whirled_up_girl I agree with two weeks... by the second week and after the texting and initial phone call conversation... she should be willing to at least commit to a plan to meet in person by the second week, and that meet up should happen no later than the 3rd week of texting and talking.

I am 47 so in growing all the way up to the age of 22 to 24... there was no texting. You met a woman you asked for her number and talked once or twice, and by the third phone call you were asking her out. If she said not for ANY reason, it was a rejection and that was the end of the conversations. That was all considered fair play, she didn't waste your time and you didn't waste hers.

Thats all any man really wants; well, any decent man would want or expect. A nice casual meet and greet... that's it. But when she wants to keep it in chat for weeks, that means she wants you as the man to invest and commit your time... and she can ghost on you for any reason at any time. So that initial meet and greet is really your first chance to establish the foundation of a potential emotional bond and commitment... because you as the woman are actually committing to the process. In a real way.

[magiusX26]

hmm looking at the poll, zero women like that idea where as most of the male vote likes it. but they day guys are the ones rushing things. the numbers say the exact opposite.

[DaveJord]

I think there must be a lot of simps on here... but yeah I saw that to.

[Grovermint]

For me, I'd rather meet after a week or so. There is much more you can get out of a person in their vicinity vs on the phone as most communication is nonverbal.

[DaveJord]

Agreed 👍

[Adaeva]

If I was using that type of social media, which I'm not and I expect that I never will be, I wouldn't want to wait a week. Some of boyfriends have not last a whole lot longer than that. I would say, "Meet me at Braum’s" or any public place for an Ice Cream or Tea. I should know within an hour if I wanted to see him again. If, I didn't, then I would not have wasted a week of my time over such foolishness.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. Meet as soon as you can. You're there to find the love of your life, try to get off that app as soon as possible so you can talk in person to get a real impression on eachother. A picture and a bio can only do so much.

[Jamie05rhs]

If you're really looking for the love of your life, you should be more careful and you should assess their resume first before giving them an in-person interview.

[DaveJord]

@Jamie05rhs come on give her the benefit of the doubt of course she's doing that. But once you lock in on somebody yeah I agree move that s*** off the app and in the real life. Seriously even a 20-minute cup of coffee together, if it's a good cup of coffee I'll text you for a whole another week off of that alone. But I don't want to waste that time, if you aren't what you advertised.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Jamie05rhs well yes, and that's how you match. once matched you need to get outta there asap. But it all starts with matching on apps.

[ozzzzy]

Bad idea because you could get your hope very high after a more prolonged time, and then you meet in person, and there's no chemistry from the start as if you haven't texted that long or heard each other that long. Then you realize that you just wasted your time. It is better to check in person asap if there's chemistry.

[BoopBoopBeep]

There's no option for "Guys, Nope" but that's my answer. Nobody's got time for that ist. If you can't even be bothered to meet for coffee you're getting replaced with someone who will.

[DaveJord]

Damn, fucked it up.

[Nikki1989]

No, I want to meet ASAP. I don't waste my time if I can avoid it.

[slatyb]

It's a waste of time to communicate before meeting in person and finding out if there is mutual attraction.

[Apple1996]

I prefer to chat over text for a bit. Even tho I met my husband in person we texted for awhile before going on a date

[musicbrain5]

I’ve never online dated, but if I was I would want to meet them within a week of chatting. Carrying on a chat convo shows interest, in my opinion, so I wouldn’t want to delay meeting them, even for coffee.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Maybe a bit longer than that actually. And a few years of hanging out as friends before getting into a relationship with her.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think it's a GREAT idea! I fully endorse this method. It saves a lot of wasted gas money and restaurant bills.

[Anonymous]

i've never had sex or become someone's girlfriend this way

[shortster]

A week is plenty of time to set up a date. So you should be willing to go out within a week or two.

[DaveJord]

Agreed 👍

[LiamJHayden]

I don't do online dating.

[DaveJord]

Keep it that way, but its better than not dating at all.

[LiamJHayden]

Yeah, if I lived in a rural area it would be different, but there are over 3 million people in my county so in person works fine here.

[DaveJord]

Yeah, I live in the mountains, 200 people in town, roughly 2,500 dispersed across the county. So yeah, I online is really my only option.

[Lokiion]

Two - three weeks anything more is a waste of time

[DaveJord]

I would say yes to this, as long as she willing set a date and stand by it. The issue for me personally, is after a week a cup of coffee or quick lunch is enough for meet and greet... inorder for me to decide if I want to continue with her. But after three weeks of chatting ever night... expectations start to develop, because now it's turned into a hug time investment.

[Anonymous]

i'd say more like a month. can't be too careful.

[Anemone978]

Yes or guys will just use you..