Am I being too picky?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’m forever single because I’m too picky lol. I don’t have many turn offs, some are poor hygiene, bad manners, Cheater and being a smoker. I find that last one is the reason why I turn down a lot of guys, and it’s becoming to be a problem because I feel like everyone smokes or vapes these days. If he’s an amazing guy and Checks all the boxes, I still get turned off if he smokes. I know many of you all are smokers here and I don’t mean to be rude or anything. I hope no one feels hurt. I guess it’s a personal reason why I don’t like smoking, especially if one is smoking like a chimney lol, or vaping at literally every second they get.

Be honest, do you think I’m being too picky? If so, how can I fix this? I know I just can’t tell the guy to stop smoking and it’s not that easy.

[DaveJord]

Nah, you are not being too picky. My dad smoked for 30 years, and smell of it was always on him. I mean it gets into cloths, and carpets and it never really goes away. I mean I would not want that in my house.

There lots of things that you should be open to when you start looking for. Make mental lists of the all the things you really need from a relationship... and then make a list of all the things you would really want or like but not necessarily need, and then make a list of things you absolutely have to be your deal breakers, like smoking. If the list of deal breakers is not less than half of any of the other two lists then you are being too picky.

Now smoking is about more than just the smell... I mean in long term and all the possible health issues that can come around later... is this someone you might want to have kids with and plan on being there for you into your 60's and 70's?

[ManOnFire]

Wow, we are both a hell of a lot a like on that. I too just can't deal with smoking, and I too always feel like I'm the only person not smoking or vaping anything in my circles. Most people I know smoke weed, and if it's not that then they are vaping. I can literally only think of one friend who does not smoke anything.

[YesterdaysChild]

How would you know if anyone is a cheater unless you are with them for a while? And no, I don't think you are being picky. After all, everyone has their must haves and their must nots. I agree about smokers though. It's a dirty habit - vaping too to be honest - but smokers can smell of smoke, even their clothes reek. Their teeth are brown, and kissing a smoker can be like kissing an ash tray. That being said, most of the actors smoke too. But from my experience, dirty habit notwithstanding, I have known a lot of smokers that were really great people. So if they have this single vice, it would not prevent me from dating one. I mean really, who doesn't have at least one vice?

[HollyK21]

Picky is wanting a woman who has absolutely no romantic past because the seeker lacks experience himself (I think several of us would know which guy I’m talking about on here lol). Choosing a man who doesn’t smoke is not picky, but I think just in general finding someone to date in a serious way is hard these days.

[dynamicyandere]

No you aren’t picky. Those are just 4 simple requirements.



✅ Good Hygiene
✅ Good Manners
✅ No Cheating
✅ No Smoking


If you have a really hard time avoiding those, you may be hanging out around the wrong crowd.


For example, most smokers hang out with other smokers. Most drinkers hang out with other drinkers. Most [fill in the blank] hang out with other [fill in the blank].

[Adaeva]

I don't know what kind of crowd you run around with because, in my experience, smokers are rare. If that is your experience, then that is the crowd you keep searching for. It is idiotic to go searching for guys who smoke and then when you find them to complain about it.

[DarkWinterNights]

If you’re being picky about things like a guy being 5’11” instead of 6’, or he doesn’t make a quarter million dollar a year, etc. yeah, I would argue you’re being superficial and picky.
Things like hygiene, bad habits, differences in traditional’s, values and beliefs? No, that’s not being picky. That’s just focusing on what’s important to get someone in the same headspace as you.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re being too picky. I think most men would think the same. I don’t like smoking either. But honestly the age category you picked. You’ve had plenty of time to meet someone, so something makes me feel as though it’s just more than that. What you’re seeking isn’t something extreme like a lot of women seek. We’re you in a relationship before?

[BCRanger10]

If you're a cheater and have bad manners and bad hygiene, those are the things you need to fix first.

[Daviddd5412]

Those are the most basic requirements lol. You're probably just hanging out with the wrong people.

[Worst]

I have pretty much the same standards lol Not too picky whatsoever

[Worst]

I unironically think I'm the only person I know that has never smoked anything in there lifetime lol. Kinda hard to find someone like that considering it's all legal here

[Shamalien]

Weed smoke is life ciggs r death

[balyai]

You aren't being picky. You know what you want.

[shades777]

who knows