I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. For the past 3 years, we’ve lived in different towns. I moved away for college and he stayed in our hometown. For the past two years, after graduating HS, he’s been working more hours. He currently works at a fast food restaurant so his hours are a bit long and he usually gets called in on his days off. I understand That his work life is stressful but I’m unsure if it explains everything. For starters, he rarely initiates conversations with me. For the past year, I’ve been sending messages almost every day asking “How was your day? how was work? How’s your weekend?” It felt a bit one-sided so I stopped to see how long until he reached out to initiate a conversation. So far in the past 2.5 months, he’s messaged me 4 times, 3 times letting me know he has a day off so we could plan a date and one saying happy birthday. He also dodges calling me. Since we live in separate towns messaging can feel a bit impersonal so I tried Facetime him. For about 3 weeks I would ask once every couple of days “are you free to Facetime/call” he said he couldn’t because he was at work, totally understandable. After 3 weeks I stopped asking thinking he probably got the vibe I was interested in calling but he never called or tried asking if I was free. After about 3 months I tried asking again. This time I only asked for about a week and a half but no luck. I also didn’t see him on my last 2 birthdays, at least this year he made time to see me a week after, unlike last year. I’ve never been in a relationship prior to him so I have a hard time telling if I’m being obsessive or if I’m right to be a little concerned.
Is my boyfriend really busy or is he just uninterested?
