Why do some guys interact with, then avoid a woman, when they're not on bad terms?

[Anonymous]

There's this demeanour in a guy that gives me the feeling he's rather annoyed by my presence. Sometimes when we're on opposite sides of the room, he'll make funny faces at me and it's alright. Yet, whenever we're sat next to the other, he'll always switch places or ask someone else to take his spot and then ignores me for the rest of the day. This happens especially right after we had some interaction.

He's always first to help others. Whereas he'll give me feedback on something I'm doing wrong/could do better and then proceeds to tell someone else to work on that with me, rather than doing it himself (even when he's not necessarily doing anything else).

Our interactions are often rather physical, but only ever briefly (a fist bump, hand on shoulder, or he'll randomly grab my hand) and honestly, nothing more than just a short greeting. Last week he bumped into my shoulder, walked away and then ignored me the rest of the day. It wasn't meant to be hurtful, but definitely on purpose.

I might be exaggerating, but it is thoroughly confusing to me.
Like... why not just leave me alone if you don't want to be in my presence?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a weird situation. Few possibilities I can think of:

- He's intimidated by you - Some dudes act weird and avoidant when they secretly like a girl but don't know how to handle it. All the physically playful stuff could be flirting that makes him nervous.

- Personal issues - Could be going through something at home/head and taking it out by being moody. Wouldn't take it personal.

- Misleading you - Maybe he likes the attention but doesn't want anything serious, so gives mixed signals to keep you interested without committing.

- Bad communicator - Some guys just suck at expressing their feelings clearly. Might like being around you in small doses but not know how to say it.

If you wanna know for sure, I'd say subtly flirt back next time he's playful. See how he reacts - if he shrinks away or engages more. Or just straight up ask what his deal is - clear the air. Could be nothing too, just his weird way of being friendly. Either way, don't stress - his problem, not yours!

[Asker]

The situation is weird to me! Hah.

The same thing happened last night, where we were standing about 10 ft apart, didn't greet or anything. Just looked up, then he walked to the opposite side of the room and stayed there. He's always in the same position, hence I feel like its done on purpose.

Yet, afterwards, I needed to know something but he was in a conversation, so I went up to a relative. Then he ended the conversation, and turned to me to help me out.
We were laughing about me being broke and needing expensive equipment so he joked about helping me out with a street act to collect money and such.
So while everyone was having serious conversations, the two of us where making complete fools of ourselves.

Then afterwards I had walked out on the parking lot, he asked for me to wait on him, so we could drive away together.

I've been telling myself that the fact that he's taking a distance, isn't something personal, but it literally only ever happens whenever I'm near. He doesn't seem to mind other's presence.

But anyway, thank you for your extensive reply!

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that is super confusing! One minute he's avoiding you like you've got cooties or something, the next he's joking around and wanting to leave with you. Girls are always saying how we guys don't make any sense, but this dude takes it to a whole new level. Part of me wonders if he likes you a little and that's why he gets so awkward, but then the hot and cold stuff is just weird. Like, make up your mind dude! If he's into you at all he should just sack up and be normal instead of acting like a spaz. I'd try not to read into it too much. Maybe just play it cool with him next time and don't chase after his attention - see if he comes to you instead of running away. And if he keeps being all over the place, might be best just to forget about it and find a guy who can act right! Hard to tell what's up with that one. You’re welcome also luv anytime.