Should I break it off or give it time?

[Cocochoh]

This girl (25) who's long distance away from me, confessed her feelings saying that she has a crush on me and treat her special. We talk everyday, I made blush twice before, and she tells me nearly everything. We flirt, never gotten into argument, and we are open to getting to know each other and goes slow.

My problem are my fears, insecurities, I overthink, etc.

To explain further

- sometimes when she text late I feel she's hitting up other guys. Feel depressed all day.

- sometimes when we in a group chat I get jealous when the other guys knows what to say before I do which gets a better reaction from her.

- I mentally compare myself to other guys she talk to. Feel hurt for no reason.

- and I over think that what ever she's doing with me she's damn well doing to others which I don't feel fully committed but my heart has fallen fir her though I just feel heart broken over and over again.

I just don't know what to do and how to go about this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm man, this sounds like a tricky situation. Long distance stuff is always hard anyway cause you can't really be together in person a lot. I know what you mean about overthinking and getting jealous sometimes though, I kinda do that too sometimes with girls. A couple things I'd say - first, don't break it off just yet if you really like this girl. Feelings like that are hard to find, ya know? But you gotta work on controlling those jealous thoughts too. Maybe try talking to her about how you're feeling insecure sometimes, so she understands where you're coming from. Make sure you really trust her. Also don't compare yourself to other dudes - every girl is different in what they like. Just focus on being yourself and making her laugh. If the jealousy keeps being a big problem after giving it some more time, THEN maybe think about ending it. But I'd say hang in there for now and see if communicating how you feel can help. Good luck man!

[Cocochoh]

Your right, one thing that gets me out all this she keep telling me about these other guys.
Guy 1 - she said he was cute. When I showed her a picture of me. She liked it.
Guy 2 - he confessed his feelings to her. They talk and she told me they have little sessions that makes her laugh. Meanwhile I'm scrapping by with flirting and making her blush. Like why can't she be more creative with chat games ( 2 truths and a lie, meme sharing etc) with me.
Guy 3 - she said she had a dream about him even though she only seen his profile picture and he probably doing god knows what.

It's just ups and downs man. We flirt, she loves the dirty talk, and we get to know each other. But to know that this going on. Hurts.

[Cocochoh]

By liking the picture I mean just a heart and had conversation about something else even though she wanted to know how I looked like.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, I can see why all that would mess with your head. No one wants to feel like a second option, you know?

A few things jump out at me though - seems like she's maybe trying a little too hard to keep you interested by talking about other guys. Like she wants you chasing after her validation. Not cool on her part.

Also, dirty talk and flirting is fun but not a real foundation for something serious. Sounds like so far you guys aren't super connected on a deeper level yet, ya feel me?

My advice - take a step back for a minute. Don't hitting her up as much, see how she responds. Give her a taste of her own medicine a bit. Meanwhile focus on your people who treat you right.

If she cares enough, she'll put in more effort to actually get to know YOU, not just yapping about randos. You deserve someone excited to be with YOU, feel me? Don't settle for less my dude.

Maybe hit her with an honest "we should pump the brakes" chat and see what's what. Protect ya peace first bro. You got options, don't force something not mean to be. Keep ya head up!

[Cocochoh]

Exactly, I have visual novel I'm working, make my own music, I work, I got treadmill at home, I got youtube channel.
It's going be a simple, hey, how are you, blah blah. Oh you did what? Okay. Glad you feel alright. Then get back to me time. Anything more she wants to discuss can only unlocked through serious Long distance premium service. Right now are just lustful fools just wanting attention and validation which not my goal.
Though I do all I can to get know her she takes her time asking... alright questions. But it'll be me asking the deep good ones.

[Cocochoh]

One more thing before you go, what to tell her if she notice me pushing her away? Tell her that I've been busy? Cause she knows and I show her proof I been doing my project. sge said I'm awesome and just over reacted. Anyway. What to sat then?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude you sound like you've got your head on straight. Good for you for realizing your own self worth and not settling for being anyone's back-burner option. The whole premium service thing is actually a really smart idea - if she wants more of your time and attention, she's gonna have to prove she's serious about putting in the effort too. No more just letting her drone on about other guys while you scrap for crumbs. Lay it all out clearly - you've got your own dope shit going on and aren't gonna waste time playing games. If she steps up and starts truly engaging with you, great. But don't lose sleep if she doesn't - you seem like a catch and I'm sure you'll find someone worthy of your time. Props for having the confidence and self respect to handle it this maturely. Keep doin your thing man, good things comin your way!

[Cocochoh]

Alright sound like plan. Thank man 👊 this help clear my mind a bunch. Thanks again

[Oliverlogan263]

If she notices you pulling back and pushing her away, I wouldn't necessarily lie about being busy. Just be honest but chill about it - tell her something like "I've just been focusing on my own thing lately" or "You've been talking to me less so I figured you might need your space". Don't make it into a big thing where you're accusing her of anything, cause that might come off needy. Just act like you're doing you, not sweatin' her too much. If she wants more of your attention, she'll have to show YOU what YOU want to see - being more engaged in your convos, asking more about your projects and stuff, not bringing up other dudes all the time. Don't let her make you feel bad either, you're not overreacting by wanting some respect. Just keep your cool and do you, she'll get the picture. Or she won't and you'll know she ain't the one! Also you’re welcome man anytime.

[Cocochoh]

Definitely keeping this mind.
" If she wants more of your attention, she'll have to show YOU what YOU want to see - being more engaged in your convos, asking more about your projects and stuff,"
Not sure if I should tell her or let her figure it out on her own lol. But I'll figure it out. You done enough. I appreciate it.

[DaveJord]

LDR relationships are like playing the lottery. Anyone that wins the lottery, will never complain about it. And people do win the lottery, but the chances are so very minimal it's easy to justify not playing.

Mental health wise, I will say if you are having all these anxieties about it... then it's not for you and I would personally would never do it.

[Cocochoh]

Damn, I really love her so much. Not sure how I can let her know.

[DaveJord]

Here is the deal my man, LDRs leave a lot of things up in the air. I mean how well can you really know someone that lives that far away... there are just so many gaps... and people fill those question marks in with their own imagination.

Seriously you know what she is telling you, and she is only telling you what she wants to know. LDR or not, that's online dating in a nutshell. So, you push for a date, and you make the sacrifice to make time to pull it off. But more you press for meet up, the better you will be able to gauge her as a persona and how serious or not she is.

Women love to have a guy to talk to, and I think they use dating sites more times than not to have that guy to talk to, without having to fully expose herself to her real romantic interest.

So, you have to accept, that no matter how well you think you know her... she is probably not the person you think she is or have made her out to be in your own head. Which is the source of your anxiety and doubt. Your gut is telling you what you have turned your mind off to. So, you either accept that going in and ride the storm, or you trust yourself to know better.

[Cocochoh]

🫡 yes sir. Thanks.

[Tharithi]

How old are u

[Cocochoh]

30yrs old

[Tharithi]

And do u actually like her? Or just like the attention

[Cocochoh]

I actually like her. Fell in love actually. To the point she's on my mind a lot. I go out of my way for her.

[Tharithi]

Why u like her

[Cocochoh]

The quality time spend together. Everyday we say good morning and good night texts, we flirt, I treat her special and she show her appreciation in many ways by reciprocating back. We share photos and videos how we feel, and treating her special makes me feel good too. Like stood up all night making sure she was okay when she was sick in the hospital, I'd write poems to her, let her know I love her and think about her. I like her cause ATTENTION AND APPRECIATION, AND FRIENDSHIP

[Cocochoh]

We share everything we do, everyday and we get along well. Like today I I didn't send her no kiss emotion cause I wanted to do something different like a hug emoji and she said "No kissing today?" I was like omg

[msc545]

End it.

[Cocochoh]

Not sure how to though. I really like her though

[msc545]

Either end it or keep suffering - your choice.