If a guy starts dating his female best friend after getting rejected by another woman which woman is his backup usually?

[Anonymous]

This guy approached me when he already knew his female friend for about a year. I rejected him and a few months later they are a couple. Did he at the time consider me a plan B or backup for her or was she the consolation prize?

Best friend

Girl that rejected him

Can‘t tell

A total of 32 votes were cast: 13 girls and 19 guys. See detailed results

[Billlewis]

It's impossible to know for sure, but if he pursued you first, then you were his first choice.

[Asker]

That’s the question. Who did he in this scenario most likely pursue first? i think If he is dating her now he always found her attractive so he probably pursued her first. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

why would it matter if you didn't even want him? lol I hate people like this, they reject someone and then get all offended to find out they weren't even their first option. UGH so full of yourself. if you didn't want it, what difference does it make if you were someone's second choice? Clown.

[Opinion Owner]

guys don't befriend girls they don't want to fuck. if he befriended her by himself and not through someone else, it's clear he wanted to be in her pants since day 1.

[Asker]

He probably met her through someone else

[Asker]

But in case he wanted her from day 1, why would he wait 2 years and in the meantime try to get with me? Now that he is dating her he still keeps glancing at me when he thinks I’m distracted and he wanted me to join his study group

[Opinion Owner]

why do you care?

[Asker]

If I was the backup I would want to know

[Opinion Owner]

for what? what difference does it make? get over yourself. find yourself your own boyfriend and stop trying to belittle other people

[Asker]

WHO did I belittle?

[Opinion Owner]

no one. you're attempting to. WANTING to be the first choice when you didn't even want the guy. Let her be the first choice since she actually wanted him she deserves it not you. you can go on with your life. stop wasting time on this nonsense.

[Sasha0426]

@Opinion Owner Damn, do you need some chocolate or something? Like…calm down.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 ?🥴🤡

[WhitneySnow]

Could be neither one. Him being rejected by you and then dating his best friend might be totally unrelated. But why do you care? You rejected him.

[ProbablyClueless]

Most guys have several irons in the fire when they're talking with women. She probably ranked just as high as you before you rejected him.

[Asker]

How do you know she ranked as high as me and not higher or lower?

[ProbablyClueless]

I don't know for sure, but I do know how most guys think about those sorts of things.

[coachTanthony]

most guys pursue any woman that will have him. Everyone is a consolation prize lol

[slatyb]

He was crushing on you. You rejected him. Then he realized that there was a good woman in front of him all along. Maybe he had some notion of what he wanted, then when you turned him down her realized that something he thought was important really wasn't.

[HighValue]

If he is attracted to his female best friend, most likely he would have wanted her over anyone else and just didn't express his feelings before. If they were best friends she has the personality he likes, so as long as he thought she was a 5 or better in looks it is likely she would be his first choice.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most people don't think that way.

If you rejected him, you're not a match. If she accepted him and they get along great, then she's a match. There is no backup, or consolation prize, or settling involved, because thats not the right mindset when picking a partner.

You either love someone, or you don't. There is no "well this isn't what I wanted but its better than nothing" thought process,

[exitseven]

It is a complicated thing. There are a lot of moving parts. The timing is important as is what the relationship was like beforehand.

[Paris13]

Sounds as Though the Bestie is The Best from The Restie. lolxxoo

[Wood3nWhal3]

I can't say for sure but I'd like to inform you that I operate on a strict first come first serve basis policy. Dm and maybe we can see if a bending of the rules is possible, thanks and happy holidays

[Vegasrunner]

Guys don't think about it like that. He's just keeping his options open

[Asker]

Yeah but why didn’t he date her before he approached me when he has known her for about a year at that time?

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Lol, you're thinking about this like a woman where you have the luxury of having interest in 1 guy at a time. Men that are good w/ women don't operate like that. He probably had been rejected by the female friend several times b4 approaching you. Over time he probably wore her down. Lot of this depends on how attractive you or the girl are, if she's a smoke show he probably was using you as a placeholder, or as a way to provide social proof to her.

[Asker]

And if I am more attractive than her?

[Asker]

And why does He still watch me if he already has her?

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker Your attractiveness doesn't matter as much because you already rejected him. What's more important is her availability, was she single the entire time they were friends?

[Asker]

You just said „depending on how attractive you are“. Why do you assume I am the placeholder? Why can’t it be the other way round that she is the placeholder? I mean if he had intended to use me as social proof there would be no reason to watch me after he got the girl he wanted.
And yes, they were Single the entire time they were friends

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Lol, because he's smart. Again this goes back to my original point. You believe that having a women disqualifies him from wanting another one. That's a female POV. As a guy you have to keep your options open, sounds like he understands that. Also women are attracted to guys that other women want u are validating that theory, if you already rejected him, why do you care what he does?

[Asker]

He is desperate and she is not more attractive

[Vegasrunner]

@asker I said how attractive "you or the girl are" however your attractiveness isn't that relevant because u rejected him, a girl can be the hottest girl in the world but if I've not banging her it doesn't do anything for me.
W/out knowing the level of attractiveness its difficult to say who's the placeholder but part of your confusion comes from your false belief that guy gets girl and all other girls become invisible. He'll probably continue to use you as social proof as long as he is w/ the other girl just to keep her interested. How do you know the other girl was single? Is she a friend of yours?

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Desperate for what? He already got the girl.

[Asker]

Yep and he still watches me for some reason

[Vegasrunner]

@asker Just keeping his options opened as I said earlier.

[Anonymous]

In real life, how old are you? This is the kind of question a 13 year old would ask.

[Staximus]

Either way it doesn't matter, you rejected him.

[HouseMoat]

Another woman, diff. from either one

Why should he date a girl who rejected him?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Wow you're overthinking.

[Kokoaquest]

Move on you shouldn't care

[andreasderjuengere]

His Mom, I suppose?

[Anonymous]

Which one of you has a hotter body?

[Asker]

I do

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, then you weren't the backup.

[Sasha0426]

So, if a guy gets rejected by a woman with a hotter body, he settles for a woman who doesn’t? In other words, he’s leading on the other girl giving her false hope.

[Opinion Owner]

@Sasha0426 False hope? He's with her.

[PinkSmoke]

They usually always like their fbf