I (actual age 36F my profile is wrong) met a man in a social activity group we’re in a few months ago, and I started to develop feelings for him, as we connected and spent time talking one on one. He is a little over 10 years older than I am (48M), which is older than anyone I’ve been involved with before. One evening a few weeks ago, we went out for drinks and ended up kissing, and since then we’ve spent time together, on what I would consider dates, 3 or 4 times. We’ve continued to get to know each other. We text every day. I like being around him, and haven’t felt this way about anyone in years.
Last night we were talking and the topic of past relationships came up, and he basically ended up telling me that he’s never been married and has come to terms with the fact that he probably won’t and potentially doesn’t want to get married. He’s not against making a long term commitment to someone, but he doesn’t see the benefits of marriage. He didn’t say anything about this relating to us.
It kind of took me by surprise. Now I’m confused. Is he telling me this because he doesn’t want to make a commitment to me specifically and is trying to keep whatever we are doing at arms length? Is he just telling me true feelings on marriage? I’m not even sure how I feel, because we’ve just started seeing each other and I was enjoying where things are going and not even thinking about marriage. I’m not out here searching for a husband, but I eventually want a long term committed partner and in my head that is kind of marriage. I don’t know, it’s not something I had considered before.
But since I knew him before, I know I like him and could potentially fall hard for him. I feel like it is too early to have a “what are we” conversation, but I feel like I need to protect myself from getting hurt. Help, any advice would be appreciated!
