I already apologized, what else can I do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months now. We aren’t officially together yet but thus far the signs have been good i think. We see each other around twice a week, talk everyday, and have gotten comfortable enough to talk about family and problems in our lives. We’ve both said that we care a lot for each other and he’s even mentioned I’m the only person he feels he can talk about some things with. He suddenly stopped replying, but he did tell me that he was going to have a lot going on at work for the next few weeks. I sent him a few messages just checking in over the following days but still heard nothing back. I started to get worried and asked if he was okay. Finally he responded saying sorry, he just didn’t feel like replying to me because a comment I made in our previous conversation had bothered him. For context, he had brought up doing something and I said that last time I did that with a guy I was seeing it didn’t end well and I’m a bit superstitious so I’d hate for the same to happen with him. He didn’t like me bringing up other guys in front of him and I understand why that would make him feel bad so sent him my sincerest apologies and assured him that he’s the only one I’m seeing and the only one I’m even interested in. It’s been 2 days and he still hasn’t said anything. I don’t know what to do. I want to give him some space but the silence is killing me. I don’t think it’s a big enough issue to stop seeing someone over, especially because I apologised and acknowledged that I was in the wrong for that one. But I’m afraid that maybe it’s completely turned him off and no longer wants anything to do with me. Should I give him time and wait for him to reach out or message him again to let him know I want to fix things. Or should I just accept that he may no longer be interested in seeing or hearing from me?

Updates

2 mo

Update: He finally reached out to me during the weekend and apologised for giving me the cold shoulder. He said that it took so long because he wasn’t ready to deal with it until then. We talked things out - he explained why it’s a touchy subject for him and I explained that ignoring my messages is a touchy subject for me, so now we are both clear on that moving forward.

[confusedgirlyxo]

in total honesty girl i think it should be you that leaves the “relationship” and im gonna explain why.

first off, i don’t think the comment you made is at all serious nor do i think it requires getting upset about.

second of all, why didn’t he just communicate with you how he felt about that message straight up instead of just ignoring you for days with no explanation leaving you to overthink and worry. has he apologized for the distress he caused you for NO REASON? no, he hasn’t because frankly, this is harsh and I’m sorry, but he doesn’t care.

he’s gaslighting you into feeling bad and wants you to beg for his forgiveness and girl YOU DID NOTHING WRONG STAND UP.

you’re going to find better and i know it’s hard to leave but this guy is clearly lacking the emotional maturity that a healthy relationship requires.

i really hope you read this all the way through and move on from him im wishing you the absolute best!

[_Maya_]

Give it some time. Two days isn’t a lot. I don’t really think you have anything to apologize for and he is being a bit sensitive. You can’t delete the past of your life. Now that you know his feelings on discussing other guys you can just not do it. It wasn’t like you knew that beforehand. That is my point of being sensitive about it. How were you to know that it is such a touchy thing to him? I think he will come around once he realizes that it was an honest “mistake” and you can move forward now that you are both on the same page. If that ends the relationship then you don’t want to be with this guy because every time you make a “mistake” like that in which you didn’t know this is going to happen. Not good.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion! I saw the update and that is great. I had a feeling that it was a case of misunderstanding. I'm glad you two worked it out. That is an important part of any relationship. Being able to talk through problems. Good for you two.

[Drew-1990]

Give him a few days and try again. You may have to ask him outright if he wants to continue or if what you said was a deal breaker for him. I'm sorry this is happening dating is not easy and people leave or ghost for the weirdest reasons. He maybe done or he needs to process it, if could go either way honestly.

[Drew-1990]

Saw your update, glad everything worked out good for you

[Billlewis]

He may not be as upset as you think. Call him.

[fafylone]

He is messing with someone else. Move on. What a stupid guy. You seem so desperate by reaching out to him a lot. I hope you have some self respect left for yourself to move on.