Would you reveal that you have a crush on someone, or keep it to yourself?

[Anonymous]

Yes!

Nope. I keep it to myself.

[Anonymous]

Many women are very shy and demure about this. You don’t have to flat out tell someone that. But you could make eye contact, smile and start a conversation. Most (but not all) people can take a hint.

I used to speak my mind when I was younger. Wear my emotions on my sleeve. 9 out of 10 times that’s ended very badly. Most women intuitively know when a man is interested anyway. But I will take action (starting a conversation and asking her to go on a date) because I know most women expect men to make the first move.

[Asker]

What if he avoid eye contact and act awkward when I look at him? But I often catch him looking at me or stare at me from a distance but act like I don’t exist when I get close. I can’t take a hint. I took it as he was not interested. But damn it gave me a rush when I entered that unit and saw him stare at me from a distance.

[Opinion Owner]

Hate to say this but he’s likely taken or not interested. But there is a small chance he’s just intimidated because he thinks you are out of his league.

Men sometimes look at women at a distance out of innocent curiosity too. I got a bad habit of doing that all the time.

Anyway there is only way way to know if he’s interested or not. Say hello to him and START a conversation. It might start off awkward but the more you talk the comfortable he will get. At that point he will definitely follow up if he likes you. If he’s not interested then SO WHAT. You will NOT look “desperate” if you just started a conversation with him.

[Wetdreamz]

Based on the scenario she presented, it's sounds more like both he and her are attracted to each other but neither is picking up that the other feels as such.

Guys over time get far better at not being nervous approaching women and they stop feeling the butterflies in their stomach that they did in high school. But every once in blue moon there's someone they'll see that brings that feeling back

[Asker]

@Wetdreamz This is so true! He brings back butterflies in my stomach. I quite often get attention from men (in person) and no one else gave me that feeling in years! Me and him used to make prolonged eye contact when we chatted about work. I haven’t been to that unit in a month and all the sudden he acted awkwardly. I was waiting for him to make eye contact with me again so I can say hi. But when he walks pass me he would either look at the floor or the wall lol

[Asker]

@Wetdreamz I am not so sure if he’s interested in me though. He might be taken or seeing someone now like the other commenter said that’s why he avoiding eyes contact now.

[Opinion Owner]

QA. Ask yourself what is the absolute worst possible thing that could happen if you start a conversation and ask him to get coffee? Really. He could tell you he’s taken? If yes, then you didn’t know. How could you? No harm no foul. Or he declines which probably means he’s very weird and/or not interested (doubt he will say no if he’s single though)

How old is this guy anyway? If he’s at least your age he should know better unless he’s got a mental condition and/or going through some sort of life phase right now.

Anyway you miss every shot you don’t take. I remember about 1.5 years ago I asked out a much younger yet very attractive young lady at my local CrossFit gym. We had 4-5 friendly conversations beforehand so it wasn’t like I was was random creep who approached her on the street.

I was a bit nervous though for a lot of reasons. I wasn’t sure if she was in her early or late 20s. Late 20s is in my age range but early 20s is risky. She had an “ageless face” so it was hard to tell. Also if she turned me town I would inevitably run into her again. It was a small gym. Also I didn’t want other members especially women at the gym gossiping about me liking her because I had to see them at least 3 days a week.

So one day I gathered my courage and asked her if she would “like to get breakfast” after a workout session was over. It was outside in the parking lot but we were only 20ft from the entrance of the gym (people could hear us if they were paying attention).

She smiled and me but said “sorry but I have a bf”. I responded back “oh sorry I didn’t know. Seriously had no idea. I won’t ever ask again (and I didn’t)”.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure it wasn’t fun being rejected. And yes I know some of the other women at the gym gossiped about that later. In fact one middle aged woman made a seemingly innocent comment smiling at me later saying “you know Jill will be at the Saturday workout”. I knew the word got around about my attempt.

But I was proud of myself even though I got rejected. Because I had to courage to try. I rather ask a girl out and get rejected knowing where I stand vs. being to chicken to ask only to wonder and regret later what could of happened if I was brave enough to ask. I did run into her again. I could tell she felt guilty. I was still surface friendly but not too friendly (I didn’t want her thinking I was okay with the friendzone)

So anyway back to you. For whatever reason this guy doesn’t want to make a move. It might be a good reason (he’s taken). Either that he’s all his head. We are living in the post #metoo world now and men are less likely to take risks when in doubt.

Anyway put your big girl pants on and say hello to him and start a conversation. Smile at him. Get him talking. Worst that can happen is he tells you he’s taken or not interested. Who cares? I promise you that you WILL NOT look “desperate” by just smiling and starting a friendly chat with a guy. I’ve met aggressive women before and you are nothing at all like that. But you can be confident and say hello to him.

[Asker]

Thanks for taking your time commenting and giving some advice. I’ll try to say hi or pretend work has problems so we have to communicate lol.
I’ll come back and let you know.
I’ll have to test the water and see…
Another problem is his co worker is hitting on me lately. I don’t know how close they are. That’s even make it more complicated. Ughhhh

[Opinion Owner]

Just hello to him. That’s not “hitting” on him

[Wetdreamz]

Since it's at work, it might actually in this case be better for you to make the first move. I say this because depending on the type of work or industry tall are in, and that the work is more of a career than a jon, he could be holding back and waiting for more confirmation that you'll be okay with him trying to flirt with you.

[Asker]

I’m back to give you an update. I’m pretty sure he has a big crush on me. The way he looks at me and reacts around me. But he’s a little shy so I start to say hi and start the conversation first sometimes when we run into each other. He was speechless with wide eyes open and turning red when we unexpectedly ran to each other. So I’m gonna take it slow from here.

[Mr_twoface]

Life is short and there were plenty of similiar minded fish like myself in the ocean. Waiting for the right moment, isn't the best approach nor having the "what if" thought that you may ruin a friendship. If a friendship is truly a friendship, they will politely tell you about it and you will continue to be friends.

I told friends about my crush on them and although nothing happened and/or I was rejected, we are still dope friends today.

Don't keep things to yourself and then regret it later!

[DancingQueen16]

I'd only say I like the person if I knew they liked me back for example in middle school and high school I had a big crush on one of my best friends but I was always too scared to tell him because I thought if I told him and he didn't feel the same way things would be weird between us but I later found out he did feel the same way and we've been together for almost 2 years now

[HollyK21]

If I were ready for whatever the outcome may be then sure. It’s gonna be a risk, you can ruin the friendship or dynamic you two have. But it can also work in your favor, so ultimately the gamble is your choice.

[Asker]

This makes sense! I’m worried about the outcome. If he’s not interested then it would be awkward to work together or still seeing each other on the unit.

[HollyK21]

That alone would make me not want to do it lol no offense, I just personally feel like the only real way interoffice dating can work is if one of you plans on leaving. Otherwise for all you know it’s more of a “work fun” dynamic to him, where your interactions are mainly at work with no real intention on his end to take it outside the office. It could be because of his reputation, or not wanting to mix work with pleasure, he could even have someone he’s seeing already.

This isn’t me trying to discourage you or be a defeatist, it’s just seeing the whole work relationship scenario rarely ever (next to never) work out. If anything these are just things to really take into consideration before making your choice. It could still work out in your favor, but knowing now that this is at your job, I’ve never been one to encourage that.

[Asker]

He confuses me. We have had a strong eye contact when we were chatting about work. He would stare my eyes.
Then I didn’t have to go to that unit for like a month. Now I have to go there again. He now suddenly avoids eye contact and acting awkwardly and quiet when I enter the unit. He’s generally loud. So I was waiting to make eye contact again to say hi but he’s acting weird but I would catch him looking at me when I’m not looking at him. When I look at him again he pretends I don’t exist. I guess I’ll stop. I don’t want to intimidate him no more.

[82lynx]

Actually it’s called intraoffice dating.

I’m not really nitpicking, I’m just seizing a rare opportunity to repeat something Drew Barrymore said to her boss in Never Been Kissed. 🙂

[jennifer_bloom]

I show my emotions on my face and I don't think a guy I've liked has ever been slow to notice I like him. I don't need to tell him.

[OtterMan68]

Not sure how to contact actresses Elizabeth Debicki or Brooke D'Orsay to let them know! ;-)

[DizzyDesii]

I often tell them either when Im taken OR when i’m no longer interested. Its easier plus you still get to see their reaction without having to hope they are interested in return

[AaronKrieger]

It depends, since some crushes I do not do anything. I wouldn't reveal it as a crush though, as that seems a bit weird and I'd rather just be casual about asking them out.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

When you’re a plus-size girl with a crush, you feel like a monster for liking someone who finds you disgusting to look at

[Katebfun]

Rejection hurts, most men will never tell you directly their not interested. If you have yo ask of them like you, chances are they dont.

[JHAYES317]

@katebfun hate to say it, but you aren’t entirely wrong…that being said, I might accept a date with someone I’m not interested in…but I would never get into an a relationship with someone I’m not feeling…

[Katebfun]

@JHAYES317 yep, men enjoy female friendships.

[JHAYES317]

@katebfun actually no…I can’t be friends with women I’m physically attracted to unless there’s some reason we couldn’t be together (they are lesbian, married, explicitly told me they weren’t attracted to me in the past, live too far away, not compatible lifestyle wise etc)

[Anonymous]

Revel it of course. What's the point of keeping both crusshes hidden? In the beginning flirting is good but after too long you just harm each other. Why don't be together?

[Peridot25]

Because it’s not a fairytale.

[Berweic]

If I'm really in love, I'll show it. Otherwise it's beating yourself up. It feels terrible not to be able to unite with the one you love, to be left incomplete.

[PeachyPie93]

No, I would keep it to myself since people don't like me, there's is no point.

[Anonymous]

I've had way to many crushes that ended up with me feeling crushed..

Like the other person usually doesn't feel that way towards me at all.. So I tend to keep them to myself nowadays..

[Iron_Man]

If you ever want to get anywhere with that person that you like, you have to tell them sooner or later and sometimes if you wait too long they will find a girlfriend already

[Anonymous]

Because I’ve got curved the first time I told someone that I have a crush on them. I decided to keep it to myself when I have a crush on someone ever since. Also, I’m really really good at hiding it. No one can tell. 😃

[Huntingnfishin]

I try and be open and honest with the people in my life

[Booklover_90]

Considering my past experiences, I keep it to myself.

[JHAYES317]

@Booklover_90 then how is a guy supposed to know if you are into them?

[Booklover_90]

I’ll drop hints, but won’t confess feelings ever again. I’ll have to know if HE’S interested first.

[JHAYES317]

@Booklover_90 I’m pretty clueless when it comes to hints…I’d just assume they were being friendly lol. I’m not saying you have to straight up say you like them, but you could say stuff like “hey I think you’re cute” or “do you wanna meet up sometime”? Just to give them a bit more idea that you have some interest in them…without straight up confessing your feelings

[Booklover_90]

That’s been my issue with men: mistaking kindness for interest. Therefore, that’s why I just keep my mouth shut now. Thanks for the advice, though. Take care. 😊

[JHAYES317]

@Booklover_90 hence why I assume women are being kind because if I assume they are interested and they aren’t…they might think I’m a creep. And no problem haha

[DreamLife7]

You're 30 to 35 years old. You're too old to have crushes grow up

[nawtee_me]

I am a firm believer in doing nothing gets you nothing…. You reap what you sow.

[Sam12348]

Most people wouldn't reveal cause they are scared of being rejected

[Anonymous]

Keep it to myself. Experience has taught me nothing good can come from this.

[Anonymous]

Why keep it to yourself? A man reveals his feelings for a woman the moment he asks her on a date.

[Peridot25]

Men don’t take confessions very well. They get really upset if they don’t like you.

[BobbieBoy666]

I'm a little shy.

[Nikki1989]

I keep my private life, private.

[Pinay_ako]

Tell them.

[MrZameer]

I will keep it to myself. Won't tell anyone

[grega239]

I did and regreted it immediately

[whistlingwh0res]

Crush is for one night night stand

[Peridot25]

Keeping it to myself

[Anonymous]

I'd keep it up